The Daily Weird #8 (Russia behind in the toilet race)
Losing the Toilet Race Can Make You Feel Like Crap
Russia has lost its dominance in the world as a military super-power, a formidable space exploration foe, and now, it seems they have lost the race for the best lavatory as well.
We can only weep and watch with sadness as the Russians struggle to regain their dignity by pouring ruble after ruble into the science of the toilet bowl. (Not to be confused with the Astro bowl, which is apparently a dessert)
The people of Moscow lament Peter the Great, a man who wasn’t afraid to make a law punishing those who threw sewage in the street. (I'm told this law had a byproduct of cutting down on parades, as the people couldn't imagine what else would be worth throwing as they drove by perched on the top of Fire Trucks.)
While it had it's down and dirty side, this law may actually have led the Russians to potty dominance. With nowhere to throw their sewage, and Petrov (the first landfill operator) charging 1400 rubles per scoop to dispose of it, the Russians had little choice but to forge ahead in the land of the lavatory. (This is, of course, only an assumption based on the fact that Petrov is a Russian name, rubles are a Russian currency, and the Russians had massive amounts of poop pileup with street disposal being out of the question.) By 1917 they could claim top seat in potty productions. Toilets were serious business.
Now, however, all that has changed. The toilets in Moscow are old and decaying. With no new innovation, and the demand outrunning the supply, Russian citizens are doomed to pay for using the pot, and it stinks. Their toilets are old and decaying. I can't imagine that smells good. The head of the Russian Association of lavatory manufacturers, Mr Moksunov, is not taking this sitting down.
To help bring this issue to a head, Mr. Moksunov is proposing that April 9th be National Toilet Day. Unfortunately, the Russians are behind the times as there is a World Toilet Day already on the books.
So, on November 19, (World Toilet Day) be sure to take a moment to consider the Russian Lavatory. Public opinion regarding Russia may have gone down the drain in the last few decades, but to be the butt of jokes due to their toilet decay, is more than any nation should have to endure.
Read more on the Russians race for the superior toilet by clicking on a link below.
- Russia wants to be lavatory power again - Telegraph
Russia must regain its pre-revolutionary status as the country with the best lavatories in the world, an official said on Wednesday, lamenting the current state of the country's lavatories.
- Ukhudshanskiy - Russia wants to be lavatory power again