The Food Police

Now I have to say I find left wing loony toons amusing but not often. I remember days past where they drew Hitler mustaches on Bush and ceaselessly ranted about what a fascist he was. You could almost set your watch by it. But over the horizon rode Obama to come to our rescue and fundamentally change America. Now Bush had his faults but he definitely wasn’t into mandating that food manufacturers redo their recipe contents to four bureaucratic agencies specs or face the wrath of The Food Police. Does anyone besides me smell “fascist” in the air?

Let me see if I can connect the dots for you. What we will see is more government bodies, not the elected variety, dictating to private industry how they will run their organization down to the recipes themselves. So lets draw some Hitler mustaches on Obama?

Obama contributed his high unemployment numbers to ATMs and Kiosks. Tony The Tiger, The Trix Rabbit, and numerous other American cereal icons better pony up behind the former tellers and check-in clerks in the unemployment line. You see according to these wise sages, including Michelle Obama herself, you as a parent don’t know when to yank the spoon away from your children. Only they are wise enough to determine that for you. Beware that these types of items might require you to stock up as you have probably already done with incandescent ligt bulbs.

The plan is simple. Either follow the guidelines for product ingredients mandated by four, yes four, federal bureaucratic agencies or suffer the consequences and they have until 2016 to toe the government line. Those four are the Food and Drug Administration, The Center for Disease Control And Prevention, The Federal Trade Commission and the US Department of Agriculture. I just had visions of army’s of federal bureaucrats with reams of paper and boxes of pencils chomping at the bit.

These regulations also won’t stop at the food manufacturers but will extend to restaurants as well. Imagine having a nice family dining outing when suddenly the Food Police SWAT team comes storming through the doors to make sure you aren’t eating anything they think you shouldn’t be eating. Not a pretty picture!

We’re not talking the usual suspects here such as thin mint cookies, which will put the Girl Scout cookie sellers in dire straits, or the numerous candy bar manufacturers products which are advertised on NASCAR drivers cars, but well beyond that. I mentioned the restaurant menu dictatorship but food items like oatmeal, pretzels, popcorn, yogurt bread and bagels, diet drinks, nuts (Washington DC is full of those), fruit juices, tea (what’s that all about?), bottled water (?), milk, sherbet and ice cream, milk and the list goes on and on.

What is a bit disturbing about all of this is the cost of both implementing these mandates on private enterprises but also the very cost of administering something that parents are perfectly capable of administering themselves. We’re talking multibillions of dollars here, not small change. Who bears the cost of such nonsense ultimately? As consumers we do on the one side and as tax payers we get hit again on the other side.

Now understand that an “Interagency Working Group on Food Marketed To Children, Preliminary Proposed Nutrition Standards To Guide Industry Self Regulation Efforts” claims it will be voluntary. Man that was a mouthful of a title and nowhere in there do I read the word “parent.” The industry itself, who clearly understand federal “suggestions” understand the message. It’s either do it or else. One thing people know about the Obama administration. If they can’t get their way they will regulate their way forward.

So where’s the hook? The penalty for non-compliance is that they will be prohibited from marketing and advertising the no-no products. What are the ramifications of that? We’re into the trillions of lost dollars now folks. Try 5.8 trillion dollars in marketing expenditures that support about 20 million American jobs. Talk about creating unemployment. And here I thought this was supposed to be all about creating jobs, ATMs and Kiosks be damned.

Without reformulating the foods manufacturers will be banned from advertising their products on TV, the radio, print media, websites and the internet. Throw in other digital advertising such as e-mail, texting, in store displays and promotions. Add to that mix product placement guidelines in movie theaters, videos and video games, character licensing and toy brands, and the sponsorship of sports teams and athletes. You see where the trillions and lost jobs enter in the equation here? Just use your imagination.

So much for voluntary. Whatever happened to effective parenting? Whatever happened to the concept of individual responsibility in this nation? The idea now seems to be that if you can’t do those things yourself, the federal government will step in and do it for you.

I don’t need a Nanny, want a Nanny and you can keep your Nanny.

I have a couple of suggestions. Why not institute mandatory effective parenting classes? It seems like it be be so much cheaper. Then I suggest that those three way mirrors be installed in the Presidential bedroom and that the First Lady pay more attention to her selection of her wardrobe when appearing in public. Just a suggestion, not a mandate. Seems like setting the example should be on the menu. Enough of all this regulatory nonsense.