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The Food Police

Updated on June 22, 2011

Coming To Your Kitchen Soon

Now I have to say I find left wing loony toons amusing but not often. I remember days past where they drew Hitler mustaches on Bush and ceaselessly ranted about what a fascist he was. You could almost set your watch by it. But over the horizon rode Obama to come to our rescue and fundamentally change America. Now Bush had his faults but he definitely wasn’t into mandating that food manufacturers redo their recipe contents to four bureaucratic agencies specs or face the wrath of The Food Police. Does anyone besides me smell “fascist” in the air?

Let me see if I can connect the dots for you. What we will see is more government bodies, not the elected variety, dictating to private industry how they will run their organization down to the recipes themselves. So lets draw some Hitler mustaches on Obama?

Obama contributed his high unemployment numbers to ATMs and Kiosks. Tony The Tiger, The Trix Rabbit, and numerous other American cereal icons better pony up behind the former tellers and check-in clerks in the unemployment line. You see according to these wise sages, including Michelle Obama herself, you as a parent don’t know when to yank the spoon away from your children. Only they are wise enough to determine that for you. Beware that these types of items might require you to stock up as you have probably already done with incandescent ligt bulbs.

The plan is simple. Either follow the guidelines for product ingredients mandated by four, yes four, federal bureaucratic agencies or suffer the consequences and they have until 2016 to toe the government line. Those four are the Food and Drug Administration, The Center for Disease Control And Prevention, The Federal Trade Commission and the US Department of Agriculture. I just had visions of army’s of federal bureaucrats with reams of paper and boxes of pencils chomping at the bit.

These regulations also won’t stop at the food manufacturers but will extend to restaurants as well. Imagine having a nice family dining outing when suddenly the Food Police SWAT team comes storming through the doors to make sure you aren’t eating anything they think you shouldn’t be eating. Not a pretty picture!

We’re not talking the usual suspects here such as thin mint cookies, which will put the Girl Scout cookie sellers in dire straits, or the numerous candy bar manufacturers products which are advertised on NASCAR drivers cars, but well beyond that. I mentioned the restaurant menu dictatorship but food items like oatmeal, pretzels, popcorn, yogurt bread and bagels, diet drinks, nuts (Washington DC is full of those), fruit juices, tea (what’s that all about?), bottled water (?), milk, sherbet and ice cream, milk and the list goes on and on.

What is a bit disturbing about all of this is the cost of both implementing these mandates on private enterprises but also the very cost of administering something that parents are perfectly capable of administering themselves. We’re talking multibillions of dollars here, not small change. Who bears the cost of such nonsense ultimately? As consumers we do on the one side and as tax payers we get hit again on the other side.

Now understand that an “Interagency Working Group on Food Marketed To Children, Preliminary Proposed Nutrition Standards To Guide Industry Self Regulation Efforts” claims it will be voluntary. Man that was a mouthful of a title and nowhere in there do I read the word “parent.” The industry itself, who clearly understand federal “suggestions” understand the message. It’s either do it or else. One thing people know about the Obama administration. If they can’t get their way they will regulate their way forward.

So where’s the hook? The penalty for non-compliance is that they will be prohibited from marketing and advertising the no-no products. What are the ramifications of that? We’re into the trillions of lost dollars now folks. Try 5.8 trillion dollars in marketing expenditures that support about 20 million American jobs. Talk about creating unemployment. And here I thought this was supposed to be all about creating jobs, ATMs and Kiosks be damned.

Without reformulating the foods manufacturers will be banned from advertising their products on TV, the radio, print media, websites and the internet. Throw in other digital advertising such as e-mail, texting, in store displays and promotions. Add to that mix product placement guidelines in movie theaters, videos and video games, character licensing and toy brands, and the sponsorship of sports teams and athletes. You see where the trillions and lost jobs enter in the equation here? Just use your imagination.

So much for voluntary. Whatever happened to effective parenting? Whatever happened to the concept of individual responsibility in this nation? The idea now seems to be that if you can’t do those things yourself, the federal government will step in and do it for you.

I don’t need a Nanny, want a Nanny and you can keep your Nanny.

I have a couple of suggestions. Why not institute mandatory effective parenting classes? It seems like it be be so much cheaper. Then I suggest that those three way mirrors be installed in the Presidential bedroom and that the First Lady pay more attention to her selection of her wardrobe when appearing in public. Just a suggestion, not a mandate. Seems like setting the example should be on the menu. Enough of all this regulatory nonsense.


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    • Harvey Stelman profile image

      Harvey Stelman 6 years ago from Illinois

      FROGGY, ME WANTUM EAT! Just finished my egg roll, ribs, crab meat rangoon, etc. H

    • sean kinn profile image

      sean kinn 6 years ago from Key West and Budapest

      I've probably already said this about eight times, but I think it was ironic that the world (mostly Western Europeans) shut up about Americans being "fascists" as soon as Obama was elected. :-)

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      This is just the beginning.

      Did anyone really think government would take over the responsibility for our health care without also assuming the authority to tell us how to live?

    • TheGroundsquirrel profile image

      TheGroundsquirrel 6 years ago

      For these reasons and many more, I say "ANNEX MEXICO"!

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      34th - Calm down. You're among friends.

    • profile image

      34th Bomb Group 6 years ago

      It is a shame that these people think so little of us that now they've reached the point that they're going to regulate what we eat. I, personally, think they have no business doing so based entirely on their personal appearance.

      Then we throw in the fact that this is supposed to be a "free" country and you've got a real FUBAR situation. This "free" country is probably only "free" to those slippery illegal aliens who sneak here, take jobs which could be used by citizens, and/or go on the dole, have their kids get a free education, etc. etc.

      I've HAD it! Let's make sure we take care of the criminals while our citizens struggle to put food on the table. What country IS this? It's sure not the one I was born in, or my parents fought for.

      Maybe I should walk across the Rio Grande, "sneak" back in in broad daylight and pretend I'm NOT a citizen! Then I'll be in like Flint and my 21 year old son might have a decent job and not be strongly considering joining the military which might provide him with a decent future. Oh - but there are illegals THERE too. How do these people get in the Air Force for crissakes? Then they have free everything - from health care to death benefits to cheap food, clothing, etc. I'm really p.o.'d today folks.

    • profile image

      Stu From VT 6 years ago

      YES WE DO. I NEED ALOT MORE RULES. I have no idea whether the sheet should be under or over when I put in a new roll of toilet paper. We need a new Czar and agency for that. And should I use a half or full windsor with my neckties? I DON'T KNOW AND IT TERRIFIES ME. WHERE ARE MY NECKTIE REGULATIONS TO FORCE ME TO WEAR THEM CORRECTLY? SOMEONE PLEASE CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE!

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Dave - Seems that way when I look around out in the public. So now if the parents can't do the parenting job, the federal government wants to? We don't need a Nanny.

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 6 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      sounds like adults parents are not doing much to monitor this themselves.

    • profile image

      Stu From VT 6 years ago

      "Those who can't do, regulate" (hehe)

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      34th - Yes, but she like her husband, Oblabber, knows what is good for us since we surely don't.


    • profile image

      34th Bomb Group 6 years ago

      One of the finer moments (NOT!) in Buffalo "history" was when obummer visited recently and scarfed down a couple dozen chicken wings at Duff's. For those of you not familiar with the original chicken wing - a lot of restaurants all over the country serve a version of chicken which in no way resembles the original.

      These food items are NOT known for their healthfulness. They are deep fried wings and legs which my grandparents wouldn't touch 'cause they consist of the part of a chicken that they threw away. Even during the Depression.

      I can't think of anything worse for you than a chicken wing. (This is not a reason that compels us to stop eating them.)

      The first thing Michelle should think of is the ever-broadening size of her backside. It's quite obvious that whatever her diet is it is not healthy for her. She's gained at least 30# in the last few years.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Stu - If I needed a regulator I'd go to the dive shop and buy one. The one I have still works fine! LOL

    • profile image

      Stu From VT 6 years ago

      The whole thing is crazy. We the people are spending billions to pay regulators to screw us. It's not much different than big city protection rackets.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Mandrak - Spot on. All I can tell you is that my elected officials are getting bombarded on a daily basis about what I see going on in what is supposed to be a "limited" federal government. What we are seeing is a multi-tentacled bureaucracy that is costing us a friggin fortune in borrowed money.

      Yes, I do take the time to write and I will remember what I am seeing in 2012.

    • Mandrake_1975 profile image

      Mandrake_1975 6 years ago from Pennsylvania

      I wonder how long it is going to take all the industries which have been targetted by the oligarchs in the white papers put out by the philanthropic and foreign policy think-tanks employed by that very same oligarchy, to unite under one common umbrella to squash this insanity? There are more freedom-lovers than there are these nitwits, and I don't see why this kind of stuff is being put up with!

      Maybe those industries don't know about the plans that have already been written down in publically available white papers? Maybe an enterprising capitalist might start a business which informs companies in various industries in advance about plans which have been put out by these institutions that would effect them? Maybe those companies don't think it could happen to them?

      You know what they say... When they came for the tobacco industry no one did anything, and when they came for the fast food industry no one did anything, then they came for the incandescent light bulb industry and still no one said anything, so when they came for the soda, cereals, and snacks no one was left to defend them.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Lizzee - Now I believe you're onto something. "Do As I Say, Not As I Do." Maybe a good campaign motto for his reelection bid. "Hope and Change" I think people have caught onto. I just "hope" I have some "change" in my pocket once this is over with.

      The Frog

    • mslizzee profile image

      elizabeth 6 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

      I"m confused Frog: I have a least 12 photos in my arsenal of offensive images of His Highness eating ICE CREAM. A few more of his Wonderfulness eating PIZZA and more of him scarfing down hot dogs. Eating, eating, always eating and none of this junk is on their stupid food pyramid.

      I'm beginning to suspect that what is good for the gander ain't necessarily good for the goose, or visa versa. See how confused I am?

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      GS - That is apropos but seems to be a fitting description simultaneously. Here we have the career. professional pick pocket robber barons continually being the busy bodies of the federal government wanting to control every little detail of our lives. Are tyranny and fascism synonymous?

      drbj - Look it's early! I'm just glad I wasn't drinking my coffee when I read that. I'm still laughing.

      Stu - I'm going to catalog the quote. It seems to fit this present administration to a "T."

      Fred - See what ya get for snoozing. LOL

      Becky - I checked my pocket Constitution (yeah I have one) and nowhere does it mention "gluttony" so I invoke the 10th Amendment. It's a right of the people.

    • profile image

      Becky 6 years ago

      I am all for having a food strike. No, not stop eating. I mean, stuffing our faces full of all this unhealthy stuff before it becomes illegal or unconstitutional. What do you mean, the constitution doesn't say we can't do that?

    • profile image

      Stu From VT 6 years ago

      People have survived Lays Potato Chips, so we'll get through this somehow too.

    • profile image

      Ghost32 6 years ago

      That'll teach me to get a late start, drbj--you done stole my line! :)

      The way things are going, Republicans in 2012 are going to have one huge problem: The surfeit of available topics to use in attack ads. Like, how do you PICK just ONE!

    • profile image

      Stu From VT 6 years ago

      GS - Perfect quote. I've read it before. Fits this blog exactly. Stu

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      @bp - What makes you think those webcams are not already installed and functioning? You need to turn off the lights and eat those Fruity Pebbles in the dark.

    • TheGroundsquirrel profile image

      TheGroundsquirrel 6 years ago

      "Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." — C.S. Lewis

    • profile image

      Stu From VT 6 years ago


      I'm surprised Koolaid didn't get an exemption (the libby's favorite drink). :)


    • Pollyannalana profile image

      Pollyannalana 7 years ago from US

      If I said what I really thought I'd go to jail. It is past being funny, it is past me even wanting to write about it. It is really scary and dam depressing. I give up. We can do nothing, did you read about the kids somewhere must have like a 2 or 3 hundred dollar permit to sell Kool-aid? In Texas wasn't it $200 to feed the homeless. How does God put up with this? I don't think He will much longer. Well better go check on Writer David see if he is doing any better today. Great hub, thanks for the info.

    • profile image

      34th Bomb Group 7 years ago

      "SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!" coming to a town near you!!

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 7 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      Ah, I can see the potential for Sci-fi plots.The food police crack down of crispy-cunches. Fans of the cereal escape to a colony on Mars. take it from there.

    • profile image

      Stu From VT 7 years ago

      This is socialism, pure and simple, and not sanctinoed by any enumerated power (as if that matters anymore). It is also stupid. While excessive amounts of bad starches and fats can lead to excess weight and/or type II diabetes, once you reach your ideal weight, you need a little bit of junk food (5-10% of your diet) to prevent never-ending weight loss (anorexia). Over the past few years, I lost about 60 pounds to get to my ideal weight, by limiting myself to lean proteins, good starches, and fruits and vegetables. But once I reached my ideal weight, if I stayed on this diet, I would have ended up in rehab. A small amount of bad starch and animal fat is necessary to maintain your body weight once you reach your goal. Further, the sugars the body creates from the bad starches are good for the brain (sugar is the brain's principle food). As with all things, the right answer is moderation. I always get suspicious when I hear the words "always" and "never." And BTW, has Queen Michelle ever used that fancy mirror to look at her own backside? Who is she to be telling anybody else about what to eat?

    • Harlan Colt profile image

      Harlan Colt 7 years ago from the Rocky Mountains

      I prefer stevia to sugar anyway - but that's moot. What about the right to Free speech? Companies (people) have a right to publish (run ads) their message. This is a violation of their oath of office to uphold the Constitution. I can't say it enough. If we force them to uphold their solemn oath a lot of this crap will go away. Our freedoms all fall back on THEIR OATH.

      It's time for an Oath of Office Accountability Act. You violate your oath and you're fired and exempt from office for life. If we don't demand this they will slowly chip away until we are slaves. Actually, at 14.8 trillion in debt - we already are, but that's no reason to toss in the towel.

      - Harlan

    • Gypsy Willow profile image

      Gypsy Willow 7 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

      But I love my sugary cereals and will cry and stamp my foot if anyone takes away my spoon. Keep away from my house! Your hub has more than a grain of sugar, oops I mean truth. Voted up!

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 7 years ago from Arlington, TX

      jim - The gist of crap like this is that all this talk about reducing spending, blah, blah, blah... How much is all this going to cost the tax payer? The federal bureaucracy has already increased in size under Obama to the tune of 17%. Cut spending my ass. Cut the size of the federal government by 50% and we won't ship a beat.

    • TheManWithNoPants profile image

      TheManWithNoPants 7 years ago from Tucson, Az.


      Outstanding and entirely complete. Can you imagine what Tommy Jefferson would have to say if you met him for coffee this morning and told him about this?

      I run every morning and work out six days a week. I've been doing that all my life. I eat tons of veges, and fresh fruit. I'm so damn healthy it'd make you sick. Having said that, I also drink water from a garden hose, and will eat an entire Christmas fruit cake if I get the urge. Frog, thanks to hard working patriots like you, I think we can make this dude a one termer.


    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      OK, thank you, Froggie... I had been crying but now I am sorry to say I am laughing like a hyena.

      I had to join BPOP for a bowl of sugary cereal and downed it with a cupcake (which we will no longer be having at our children's birthday celebrations at school!) and then my hair turned a little like Tony's new avatar (sorry sweetie, you know I love ya!!) but WOWEE... I am southern and Italian so this will not be sitting very pretty with me!! I'm off to the grocer's while there is still some selection to stock up!! Voted UP & FA, mar!

    • profile image 7 years ago

      Is there not one aspect of our life that they don't want to police? Don't know about you, but we need the police on the streets, not in our kitchens...

    • tony0724 profile image

      tony0724 7 years ago from san diego calif

      Froggy I never thought that I would see in my lifetime the insanity that plays out daily in our public life. And we may as well face the facts , we are no longer a free society we only are harboring the illusion of freedom.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 7 years ago from Arlington, TX

      BPOP - Calm down and have some Frosted Flakes with extra sugar before they cause Tony to stand in the unemployment line.

      On the bright side, I nominate this for a POP award at the next annual presentation.

      The Frog

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 7 years ago

      Oh Frog Prince you have ruined my Fairy Tale for Friday. When I heard about this latest intrusion into our lives I went nuts. I was so upset I downed a bowl of Fruity Pebbles! Why don't they get it over with and just install webcams in all our homes! Up and awesome.


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