How to Cope up After Loosing a Loved One?
Coping Up after a Loved One's Transition
When you loose someone you truly love and value,it is a certain point in your life that you tend to question things. Most of the time this is the point when we become vulnerable and highly sensitive emotionally. Many of us sometimes end up blaming themselves at once. But believe me this wont help with accepting the reality.
You may have lost your special someone,a family member, a friend who has been a big part of your life,people who you can't imagine living a life without them. Here,, I am going to share to you how everything fell into pieces and how I managed to pick myself up and start walking again.
My mom passed away when I was 19,,and then my dad five years after that.Loosing my mom was devastating to me. For me, it was the end of everything,I questioned life and everything around me.It wasn't an easy thing.. And when finally after year I decided to stand up,, opened up to life again and decided that being accepted to work overseas was a great way to start. And when everything was starting to fall fall into their right places my dad passed away and that's what struck me the most. I was hit by a spear right onto my heart. Well, enough of my sad story. Eventually I learned how to cope up with it, I got past it and learned to live again.
Here is what I can share to you.. This may not be true to everybody with the same experience because I believe we have our own way of coping up but I hope this helps..
- Do it on daily-basis - Acceptance requires no definite time frame. As what we always hear "Time heals all wounds". It is okay to cry, question things,regret and all but slowly that is one step of accepting it,it s a tiny step towards acceptance. When someone we love dies,a part of us dies with him/her.
- Make it as Positive as you can - I know it is very difficult to encourage yourself everyday when you wake up that a person isn't there and won't be there anymore physically. But looking back to some great memories you shared with the person may help you take it up a notch at a time day by day
- Being thankful despite the loss - i know this sounds absurd. Let me say it this way. Memories will forever live in our hearts and in our minds. Sad or happy or those cute little moments.We should not let the sad memories rule.Having some great memories is a proof that every sadness there is light. It will make us feel thankful that we had those chances of spending bright moments with the person.And this is the kind of thing that never dies nor depart,. Memories stays
Support System - Coping up by yourself ( for some this works) but to have people around you who listens and understands and grieves with you is a better way. I know we often tell people that they don't understand us or we often just isolate ourselves from the world. But at the end of the day we all need someone to talk to.
Joining support groups is also a good way to start going back to reality. You will meet people with same experiences,same questions , same sadness. This will help you open up and let your emotions out. Support group members have this chance of getting past the grieving process together.
Acceptance is one big word to pull up specially after loosing. But when you finally learned how to slowly accept the reality, when you finally reached to a point that you want to go back to life again that is the point that acceptance occurs. And that is when we need the people around us more. They will constantly remind us that our life has a purpose and we still have lots of reasons to live. Always have Faith...We may have lost someone on our lives but we gained and angel with that.
( This is based on my personal experience. sharing this to you doesn't mean this is generally true. I will appreciate if you guys have some points you want to add)