The Real Woke Minds are Libertarian Minds

Hardknoxville, Tennesseesaw—Police and teachers haven't noticed large numbers of kids getting hooked on the allegedly dangerous hallucinogenic material known in street parlance as "book," and federal drug agents say that few people are currently using it. But that hasn't dissuaded Tennesseesawen lawmakers and political opportunists in five other states from seeking to outlaw the scourge.

The great fear, of course, is that excessive use of "book" can turn otherwise successfully socialized and soccerized young people away from their Woke group mentality and into maladjusted geeks, nerds or, even worse, individualists like those strange wild-eyed Libertarian cult followers of the notorious David Boaz who peddles his “Libertarian Mind” branded brain-altering product to his addicted abusers always in need of a fix.

The Libertarian Mind strain of book is especially dangerous to newly reeducated Wokers fresh from the nation’s left-socialized “education” system of indoctrination since repeated exposure to the “words” will break down the abuser’s deeply embedded core group values belief system by attacking established truths. Concepts such as society, freedom, fairness, justice and even “libertarian” detached from the proper “libertarian socialism” coupling become severely redefined, causing a deeply disorientating reaction for the victim of this mind-altering book drug.

Unlike a hit of the traditional left-liberal street Woke the Libertarian Mind-alternating Woke book is laced with such tainted substances throughout its “pages” as individualism, non-aggression, freedom, rights and similar hallucinogenic impurities.

Of all the multitude strains of book this type is considered to be the most dangerous to young developing minds.

Pennsylverware is poised to become the first state to outlaw book. A bill called Singleton's Law, named for teenager Singleton Freethinker—believed to be one of Boaz’s ardent disciples—who mentally gorged on book for several years and became unacceptably intelligent, is awaiting the governor's signature.

According to local authority Ernest Dewgooder, the little-known addictive material apparently appears naturally in manmade locales such as libraries, stores and schoolrooms. "Book almost always appears in a layered form," Dewgooder authoritatively explains, "and is laced with an active ingredient known to users as 'word.' These 'words,' when ingested through the eyeballs, frequently cause a meditative-like fugue state which can lead to a consciousness-altering condition often referred to as 'knowledge,' and can lead otherwise susceptible Woke victims into a lifetime of hardcore self-awareness that detaches them from their natural place in the collectivist identity-politics universe."

Toxicology researchers maintain that excessive book use, known in teen slang as "reading," produces changes in brain neurochemistry similar to those seen after long-term use of other mind-modifying activities such as critical thinking, cognitive reasoning, and creative decision-making.

"There is no doubt that excessive use of so-called book has a lasting effect on human brain cells," one scientific report darkly warns.

"When something like that is legal, it says to the kids that it's okay to consume it," nagged state Congresscrat Sly Cunningman, who sponsored a bill that would ban book. "We need to head off recreational users before they become chronic intellectual abusers."

Educrats agree. State educational psychologist Paige Turner fears that book use will interfere with normal healthy teenage developmental herd activities such as cellphoning, texting, facetiming and relentless online gaming, the latter being especially encouraged because it enhances mindlessly repetitive knee-jerk obedience skills.

Meanwhile, Adminiscrats of the DEA (Dangerous Enforcement Androids) are hoping that classifying book as a Schedule I controlled substance, placing it in the same category as heroin, will further expand their already expansive budgets, manpower requirements and political clout in the only context that matters, the DC political venue.

Some undisclosed sources indicate that the agency is already laying plans for launching a wide-ranging “War on Book” as an expansion of their long failed yet lucrative War on Drugs.

"Our only concern is for the children," a DEA PR flack smirked sincerely.

Concerned parents, familiar with book from their own childhoods, bemoan its easy availability in shops that specialize in "perusal" paraphernalia such as highlighters, bookmarks, book jackets, bookends and even bookshelves.

"At the very least book should be kept behind the counter and restricted to adults only," observed Lois Teem, president of the local chapter of Mothers Against Bad Book.

Socially enlightened countries with collectivistic social sensibilities such as Cuba and North Korea long ago recognized the mind-altering properties of book and banned it.

Pro-reading libertarians and other anti-bookbanners insist that book has some socially redeeming qualities when used in moderation. The Libertarian Party is against bookbanning on principal. "We own our own bodies," thundered state party director Lee Vussalone. "What we ingest into our own minds is our own business. This should be a strictly voluntary decision and the government should stay out of it!"

Others are also little concerned. Phil Prezcripçion, a University of South Carolingam pharmacology professor, said that ordinary American children who have used book described it as "not being very cool." The usual reaction is, "Been there, done that, where's my Xbox?"

A street dealer, who insisted on remaining anonymous, agrees. "Book is not a party drug. You never see a bunch of carousing teens at a rave just sitting there passing book around. There's little justification for regulating it like alcohol and Fentanyl and the morning after pill."

Still, a spokescrat for the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy has lamented, "where will the subservient soldiers and docile workers of tomorrow come from if today's youth becomes corrupted at an early age by the consumption of this toxic menace that induces independent thought and a weakening of group identity?"

Meanwhile in Seaddledbrain, Washingstone, A very different concern was voiced by Max Havock, the self-appointed Nihilist-Collectivist Domestic Guerilla Terrorist-In-Chief of AWMOD—Agree With Me Or Die—a loosely unknit unhinged coalition of loud, angry, arrogant Progressives, Triggered Snowflakes, Bullying Liberals, Social Justice Warriors, Identity Politics Bigots and millions of other Alt-Left Collectivist Groupthinkers and assorted conformist Wokers.

Where, he bemoans, will the subservient ideological window smashers, looters, firebombers, race-baiters and violent history rewriters come from if today’s youth have their mob mentalities corrupted at an early age by the consumption of this toxic “book” menace that induces independent thought?"

In reality, however, the reason so few of today’s young people use book is partly because they’re unaware of the existence of libraries, bookstores and schoolrooms and what’s in them. Today various forms of book are available on the Internet in different strains such as ePub, PDF and Kindle. Rather than “reading” a retro touchable book, irresponsible young people have been known to “download” (as they call it) the addictive product from online sources and directly infuse it into their brains without parental supervision and without the need to purchase the illicit contraband on the street from a creepy book fiend.

It should be further noted that the Libertarian Mind book, as with so many other dangerous substances, can be acquired in the “audiobook” form and then absorbed directly through the ear canal without any “reading” whatsoever.

Max Havock of AWMOD is okay with his minions snorting the likes of Rahm Emanuel or mainlining Saul Alinsky (both infamous for their battle cry of “Never let a crisis go to waste”) or even huffing a frothy but otherwise low level dose of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (street name AOC) but he hates his underlings snorting Libertarian Mind.

“Too many of my minions been getting jacked on that Libertarian Mind book, thinking for theirselves and spouting trash like voluntaryism and individualism and free society and losin’ their damned mob mentalities. How I gonna bully my way into power and money if I ain’t got tards with mob mentality to manipulate? We need Democratic Socialist Tribalism, not this Liberfairyland crapola!”

Note: While preparing this article, concern was expressed that some young Woke folk might come across this article and be unavoidably enticed into the clutches of Libertarian Mind addiction. However, it was decided that the likelihood of any youthful Wokers ever seeing this article was effectively zero.

The Wokest of the Woke: Black Libertarians “The libertarian way is a caring, people-centered approach to politics. We believe each individual is unique. We want a system which respects the individual and encourages us to discover the best within ourselves and develop our full potential.”

What Does 'Woke' mean? It means social awareness. But what kind? Progressive Liberal Fascistic Alt-Left, Groupthinky Tribalistic Social Justice Awareness of course. Also known as “Democratic Socialism” where everyone gets to vote for the Mob Boss of their choice.

Quotes From an Open Woke Mind: “There is no litmus test for being woke.” “Black folks don’t have the market cornered on being woke” “Black libertarians may say that less government is the answer while maintaining that the invisible hand of capitalism will fix economic inequality.”

Why Aren’t There More Black Libertarians? “Libertarianism ought to be appealing to black Americans, who have suffered greatly at the hands of the United States government. So why isn’t it more popular?” libertarianism isn’t right vs left or white vs non-white, it’s the philosophy for all people of good will.