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The truth about looking within!

Updated on July 24, 2011

In response to a fellow hubber regarding tv versus personal development :

In some people's minds the realities are that we live busy lives that are demanding on so many levels. My philosophy is a little different. Growing personally takes time, effort and demands that we look inward before looking outward. By thinking of locus of control (who/what in our lives make our lives the way they are) people become scared to admit to themselves they can be better or different. The old addage of "Do onto others as we would have them do unto you" is probably one of the toughest things to do. Not because we don't all want to be treated with respect, feel heard and listened to, have a sense of belonging(beyond our families), feel worthy and have some self esteem. No, its because we feel on times (no matter who you are and what you do in life) that someone owes us. Don't tell me you never thought "I'd let that guy get into this lane had it not been for the idiot who cut me off back there". We see the world as 'dog eat dog' instead of one long continuum of events that we have total control over. We like to give 'others' (boss, wife, husband, mother, father, brother, sister, power company, tax man) power over us as a means to blame and shirk responsibility for our own actions. That way we can justify our actions to ourselves. It makes things more palatable when things go wrong... moreso not go our way than wrong in some instances.

All of this plodding and scheming leads to a life that is comfortable, where things 'just don't go my way', where 'people are to blame', and that 'can never turn around'. For if we were to take control back from 'others' then we would have no one to blame,nothing but ourselves to fall back on. We become accountable for our way of living, our way of dealing with others, and our short comings. And really, who wants all that responsibility?? I'd rather watch CSI:NY, that way I'll see others living more crappy lives than mine, getting what they deserve because they didn't take control of who they were/what they did. We choose to live blinded by guilt, shame, disappointment, envy, greed. And it is all because we are afraid of what that accountability will mean for us in the long run, but also what that accountability will mean for situations in the past.... We were at fault. we could have done differently, we could have chosen a different path, but we were too selfish to go that path. So we chose the lazy path... one that is comfortable and easy, one that we've been living for a long time. We have little motivation to consider alternatives to our thoughts, philosophies, our beliefs, because we believe no one else is doing it... why should 'I' be the one to change... 'they' should take a good look at themselves not me.

Odd thing is that if everyone were to take a moment and rectify a wrong they had committed (no matter how big or small) then people would start thinking "hey it's okay to be accountable".... "that guy is a stand up guy"... and not only would you be changing yourself, but you'd change other peoples understanding and perception of us. Sounds like a win-win to me.


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    • Enigmatic Me profile image

      6 years ago from East Coast Canada

      SheZoe, sound almost too good to be true! Your thoughts are well founded and to be able to do the things you say you do... I bow to your abilities! You are someone to learn from.

    • SheZoe profile image

      SheZoe 7 years ago from Idaho, USA

      well spoken! i heartily agree. While i agree with you 100% i think part of being accountable is also facing what others really have done to us, but in such a way that it sets us free. if what someone does to me can make me bitter, hateful, hurtful or blaming my own actions on them, then i have given that person power over me just as you said and am now imprisoned by it. to me, being accountable is not a matter of taking all the blame for others actions, it's being accountable for what those actions do to me. i can plant beautiful things where hurtful things were done. can do inside myself what people do with broken pottery or old broken wagons when they are gardening. Rather than letting something remain ruined or throw it away (because we can't really throw anything away. it's always here)we can instead-turn it into something lush and vibrant. from there, we are in a healthy place where we can "do unto others" without manipulation or agenda's or a feeling of obligation. That's a goal of mine anyways. still workin' on it ;o) awesome hub. thumbs up

    • profile image

      Chetan 8 years ago

      Really Motivating Unexpected Response

    • Enigmatic Me profile image

      8 years ago from East Coast Canada

      me too... thanks for the note

    • I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s profile image

      I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s 8 years ago

      Brilliant ~ happy to have stumbled across your hub!

    • profile image 8 years ago from HEARTLAND

      AS Ghandi said: "BE THE CHANGE"...

      And someone else also said - "If you want the things you look at to change, change the way you look at things..."

      Sounds like a QUANTUM thing don't it?

      YES ...

      WIN - WIN works for me!

    • WhiskeyChick profile image

      WhiskeyChick 8 years ago from North of Somewhere

      Bra-vo! You are so right here! What an excellent and unexpected answer to this request.