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My Husband Rants about Obama

Updated on September 14, 2011

Turner wins Election

The Election in Brooklyn New York

I was innocently making dinner in the kitchen when my husband approached me. Okay, I wasn't really making dinner, I was making a bowl of multi-grain cheerios. I didn't feel like cooking.

"Did you hear about the election in Brooklyn?"

"Why was there an election in Brooklyn?"

"To replace that guy, Weiner, who got ousted for showing his Weenie"

"Did you seriously just say 'Weenie'?"

"You know what I mean, they elected a Republican. In a predomiantly Jewish area, democrats of course, they crossed over"

"To the dark side?" I have a hard time with serious conversation. Fortunately, knowing me like he does my husband smiles and carries on.

"Do you know what that means, that Jews crossed over to the other side rather than voting for a democrat? It had nothing to do with Wilpner really. It had to do with Obama and his state of nothingness. That's how bad it is. Jews who didn't vote for a Jew of their OWN PARTY! Do you see what's happening?"

"Not really, do you want a salad because I don't feel like cooking"

"Obama is not a friend of Israel, Republicans are. Bush was. Clinton was. Do you know what he did when Benjamin Netenyahu came to the White House? He spoke to the man for what 10-15 minutes and then he gets up and says he is going out to dinner and he can speak to his aides. HIS AIDES. Do you know how disrespectful that is? He had just become president and Jews supported him like crazy. They supported him in Chicago! Then he does that and then he doesn't even GO to Israel, but he goes to Cairo! He wants a level playing field. How can he think that it can ever be a level playing field? Do you know how many Arabs there are compared to Jews?"

I certainly hope these are Rhetorical questions. "Does that mean no salad?"

"Yeah give me a salad. He's a do-nothing President. What has he done?"

"Ummm....nothing?" It seemed like the safest answer.

"Not a damn thing! He had a democratic congress and he did nothing. Health care? Health care? His whole package was ridiculous. Mandating it? What healthy young person with hardly any money wants to have to pay into a healthcare program he can't afford? And healthcare for all? Everyone has healthcare. They just go to the emergency rooms. You know who supports Southampton Hospital? Our one and ONLY Hospital in the whole freakin area? I do. Taxpayers do. All the Hispanics out here and people with no money for healthcare just go to the emergeny room and get healthcare and I pay for OUR healthcare and THEIRS with my tax dollars!!"

Do you feel like he was ranting now? Because I really felt like he was ranting. "But nothing happened with that"

"Exactly nothing happened with that and good thing and now what does he tell the public? We have to take care of our deficit? In this economy he thinks the average household who is trying to keep their home and pay their bills gives a damn about the countries deficit?"

"It does seem like his priorities are out of whack"

My Husband Considers the Other Side

"Well I will tell you this, he lost the Jews. They won't vote for a man who isn't a friend of Israel."

"Will they vote for a Republican President?"

"I should vote Republican. Do you know why?"

"Not really." I hand him his salad and he sits to eat. This does not however stop him from talking.

"Because I am a successful small businessman. Republicans LOVE the small businessman. The succesful entreprenuer. The man who picks himself up by his boot straps and makes it on his own, Atleast thats what they like to say. Do you know what we pay a year in taxes?"

"Like an exact number?"

"$150,000 a year, AnnMarie. That's how much we pay in taxes."

"Wow, we pay more than most people make"

"Thats right, and you know what Republican men think? They think I work hard for this money, my money, I take care of my family and I work hard. Why the hell should I pay more in taxes to go to those lazy people who don't want to work or suck the system dry? That's what they think and maybe I should think the same way. I do work hard, damn hard and I should give my money away to people who don't? Why? I should pay even MORE? "

"But some people aren't lazy, they just don't have the physical or psychological capabilies to work or start a business or be successful and they need help".

"Most of them don't AnnMarie. Most of them suck the life out of the system. Shouldn't I protect my interests? Shouldn't I pay LESS in taxes not more? The government gives away our money with no follow up to people who take it, no looking into whether they really need it or not. No looking into their situation. They just give it all away with no follow up or investigative work. That's how people can suck the life out of the system. So if I vote Republican, maybe they would cut back on those people."

"Wow are you serious? Who would you be voting for, Romney?"

"One would hope! Romney is atleast moderate. This other guy, Perry, Jesus even Republicans are afraid of that gun-toting cowboy from Texas". (I don't have the heart to tell him I have no idea who this man is)

"He's an extremist?"

"He's a nut!! He believes in small government like those tea-party people. He believes in VERY VERY small government. Let them all do what they want. You know Washington is Corporate, It's an Exxon government. Owned and operated by Corporate America. They own all the politicans. In return the politicians work for THEM. The idiot middle class Americans think the Republicans have their interests and thats not true., but do the democrats? Of course not. Not really. No matter who is in office, it's going to be a Wall Street Government and you know what happens when the government turns a blind eye?"

"We have to bail them out"

"Exactly! No regulating equals no law and that means they do whatever they want to make TREMENDOUS, I mean HUGE amounts of money and then when it all falls apart, Americans have to bail them out otherwise our whole economy falls apart."

"Then why would they want to do that again?"

"Because, They don't care. Did they care that those bastard Bankers and Corporate CEO's walked away with millions of dollars while the public bailed them out for being greedy? It was one big Ponzi scheme gone wrong. Do you seem them in prison with Madoff?"

"Why is that? Why weren't these men charged with anything?"

"Because they all play on the same team AnnMarie."

Obama and his Friend

Who IS Obama?

"So you wouldn't vote Republian?" I ask now perplexed as to where all this is going.

"Nah...I wouldn't vote for those bastards. They just take my money and go to whore houses and "

"Whore houses?"

"Ofcourse. They go to prostitutes in Washington. Oh come on AnnMarie, don't be so naive. Everyone knows how Washington works. The ones that speak all their Christian value crap are usually the ones that go to the Prostitutes".

"But it seems like the Democrats keep getting caught with their pants down, so to speak, oh no, actually, I meant that literally."

"They're stupid. Republicans are better at being sneaky or maybe they're just more discreet. They don't do something illegal or immoral and then take pictures of it"

"What are you going to do if Romney gets the vote and runs against Obama?"


"Nothing? You won't vote?" I know this man 15 years he always votes, in every kind of election.

"Nah....won't matter."

"And if Perry runs against Obama?"

"Well then I have no choice, I will have to vote for Obama. Four more years of nothing would still beat all the damage Perry would do." He stops and thinks a moment. "Who the hell is Obama anyway? He said great things when he ran for office. Things people loved. I think even black America continues to support him just because they feel they have to. Maybe in four more years we would actually find out who the hell he is and what he really stands for"

"You think black people just support him because he is black?

"Sure, jews would do the same thing."

"Are you kidding me? They would support someone who sucks just because they identify with him?"


"Wow" I shake my head "I don't get that"

"Thats because you don't identify with any one group"

"Thank God. But that was a good question. Who is Obama? I bet the public feels deceived. He sounded like he was going to change everything. I understand he inherited a freaking nightmare but he still hasn't done anything he said he would. He energized everyone, he had great plans. It's so disappointing."

"He did nothing period. He bows to the Republicans who strong arm him. He says 'Lets meet half way', they say 'Lets meet over here' , he says 'okay' and thats that. He has no balls. The country wants a man who's strong and has vision. There really is no one running out there who can do the job. But I can tell you this, he is losing support all over the place. Even my friend Paul Krugman is going against Obama. (He doesn't actually know Paul Krugman, he just calls him 'his friend') But atleast I know if a Republican gets in office my interests are taken care of"

"Damn, who are you and what did you do with my husband?"

After that conversation I really need a bowl of frozen yogurt. With chocolate sauce.


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