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What If Scott Baio Is Not Guilty?
An Effort to Align Attitudes by Asking Tough Questions
Allow me to address the above subtitle. Resentment is building on the part of far too many men. Truth. I have a large social media following, and we frequently discuss such issues. I also read a great deal. I am always taken aback at certain passive male attitudes as it regards this particular cultural flashpoint.
To wit: “These women are vengeful.” ”They only want to be famous.” “They’re all gold-diggers.” “Don’t ever step under the mistletoe at Christmas parties.”
Women, these men are not necessarily “bad,” or “evil.” They’re angry. Some are even frightened. Several, likely, deservedly so.
It goes on from there. I’m reading about and hearing far too much resentment, to the degree where many men are stating outright they can no longer trust women in the workplace. Or at all. ”Who’s next?” has become the rallying question among many, whenever an accusation is released about another high-profile figure.
My contention is that we all have, cooperatively, work to do if the #MeToo movement will progress with both sexes, as it desperately needs to.
Scott Baio’s Facebook Response to Nicole Eggert
A Heavily-Edited, and Slightly Amended, Personal Social Media Post
I posted an unedited version of the following on my Facebook page, on January 28, 2018, the day after Nicole Eggert’s restated accusation against Scott Baio:
First, I don’t know Scott Baio - I am linking his Facebook page here - and many of you who read my posts can guess what I think of his politics.
If he's guilty of violating Nicole Eggert, he should burn. Period. He should be imprisoned like human garbage, with no chance of parole. If he‘s guilty of violating Nicole Eggert while she was a minor ...
I cannot express here just how much I would want him to suffer.
Scott supposedly had a playboy past and all that implies. Not hard to believe. In fact, he’s been open about it. I’m not going to pass judgement - on either him nor Nicole - other than not being convinced.
I don’t see Baio’s Facebook Live video (see above) as “proof” of anything, though I do believe he’s made a case for himself. At the same time, stories have changed over the years on Nicole’s side. Not opinion, just more truth, which anyone can readily see from a cursory YouTube search.
Again, if Baio is proven guilty, he should be thrown in jail. And he should rot on the concrete floor. If not, it may be time to step back for a minute, take a breath, and once and for all begin creating some rules/guidelines around #MeToo.
Otherwise, accusations become immediate instant guilty verdicts in the land of public opinion, and lives really can be destroyed over questionable agendas.
Regardless of whether you are male, or female.
What if ... an accused man - or woman - is indeed not guilty?
What if ... an accuser really does hold a specific agenda?
What if ... the career, or life, of an innocent man - or woman - is ruined based on a lie?
What if ... an accuser conflates a compliment (“You look beautiful!”) with sexual aggression? What if ... a woman says “no,” but the man believes she’s playing a game of “hard to get?” What if ... a man is legitimately interested in a woman, but he’s afraid to approach considering the current environment?
What if ... those accusers around the globe who truly have been sexually violated are confronted with news reports about individuals suspected or proven to have lied about their experiences? What does this do to the #MeToo movement, and the real victims of sexual misconduct?
Answer, to all of the above: The movement is undermined, and those real victims suffer all the more.
And this is a major issue men are beginning to express, both over their social media accounts and privately. Emotions related to resentment, anger, and lack of trust are building on the part of many men who are prone to them. Certainly, a man’s anger is utterly meaningless in the context of what the victims of sexual misconduct have suffered through, but for everyone's safety such tendencies must be identified and addressed by all immediate parties.
Which brings us to some proactive suggestions.
#MeToo: A Productive Dialog
Firstly, I respect the sensitivity of the #MeToo concept, and this hub. Secondly, in no way am I intending to generally downplay the honor of men. Many, like myself, want to leave this world a better place. There are men I know who are equally concerned for the safety of those so violated, and will do what they must to curb such actions in the future.
And then there are true abusers.
The bottom line is we need to speak. Whether in-person or over social media, and whether as a man you like it or not, the onus is now on us to try to understand. Sure, we may give ourselves credit for being strong and upstanding, but what does that mean, really?
Speak. Express your honest thoughts. Do not attempt to present yourself as something you are not. Be brave.
I’ve discovered that numerous women over my social media accounts also want to exchange honest thoughts with the opposite sex on the issue. No one person is black and white on any of this.
Rose McGowan, who has become a #MeToo figurehead, is a strong woman who is doing her part. I’m doing mine. If Rose sees this post and it angers her, then we should speak. If Rose sees this post and she agrees with it, then I’ll assume we have a mutual understanding that we’re fighting the same battle.
It’s all about dialog. If you noticed, I have not gone into any specifics regarding Scott Baio. It’s in the video, within this hub. It’s on the Internet, both his response and her accusations.
I did not write this piece to exploit. I wrote it to educate, and enlighten as to certain mindsets. No one, man or woman, should feel unsafe at work or otherwise.
I would suggest for anyone who knows a silent victim to convince them to visit the authorities. If they don’t need your help, you’ll be told. If they do, then offer to go with them, if necessary. It does not matter how many years have passed since the incident. Try to refrain from accusing anyone on social media when you do not know all the facts. Allow the legal system to run its processes, otherwise you can hurt the person you are trying to help by hindering potential answers. Help your friend with diligence, and work with them to hire an attorney with a track record in such matters. If they cannot afford an attorney, try to find someone who will work with them on contingency.
No one should ever suffer in silence. Together, we can curb this cancer. We all need to speak honestly and openly, and not point fingers on a whim.
More will listen as a result.
Thank you for reading.