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Why Are Some People So Inconsiderate of Your Time?

Updated on March 8, 2016
The ME Generation
The ME Generation | Source

"Generation Me has grown up believing it’s more important to ‘do your own thing’ than conform to the group. Unfortunately that also means people of this generation are more likely to be inconsiderate of other people." - Jean Twenge

What is so hard about DOING what you SAY you're going to DO, WHEN you SAY you're going to DO it??!!

I am constantly amazed and appalled at the flippancy with which people throw around "promises" or "good intentions" these days. When I was growing up, we didn't have much, but we at least had our "word", and it meant something! If someone told you they would be at your house to pick you up at 2 pm, they were THERE, and sometimes even a few minutes earlier. If someone told you they were going to meet you at a restaurant at 5 pm, they were THERE, or waiting for you in the parking lot. And if someone told you they were going to call you at 10am to arrange a visit, they CALLED at 10 am! And in any of these situations, if the person couldn't DO what they SAID they were going to DO, they AT LEAST CALLED or sent word that their plans had changed - and usually it was of the utmost overwhelming circumstances that they COULDN'T do what they had said they were going to DO!

Nowadays, people just don't have any respect for anyone else's time, and what's worse - they just DON'T CARE! Unfortunately, rudeness and inconsideration have become the norm, and others have become so complacent, they just "accept it" or have become more "tolerant" of it.

Well, NOT ME!! I still happen to think that a man is "only as good as his word", and if someone stands me up WITHOUT good reason, or fails to call me to reschedule or explain his change of plans, that person has lost a great deal of my respect! After all, my time is just as valuable as anyone else's, and there are even times when I will rearrange my schedule to accommodate others. Is it asking too much for them to AT LEAST call me if they CAN'T follow through?

I know in a perfect world everyone does what they say they're going to do, and all plans go forward as scheduled. I also know that I DON'T live in a perfect world, so I can accept the fact that there are going to be people who don't "conform" to my way of "scheduled living". I just generally learn to "put up with" these people (especially if they are close friends or family), but with the general public, and especially people I do business with, I CANNOT and WILL NOT tolerate this kind of rude and inconsiderate behavior! In fact, if another business associate makes a habit of constantly "putting me off" or wasting my time, I will find another company to do business with!

For instance, I'm a real estate agent, and this happened not too long ago with a lender I was working with. After weeks of trying to help a client get financed with this particular lender who kept refusing to return my calls or answer my emails, I found my clients another lender, got them through the financing process and finally into the home they wanted. I simply do not have TIME to deal with companies OR people who do not respect my time or cannot do things in a timely manner! There are too many other like-companies out there who would LOVE to have my business!

In another instance, just this past weekend, I was stood up by two different clients! One had promised to meet with me to sign a contract, and not only did they NOT show up, they NEVER CALLED or replied back to the many voice mails I left for them! The other client was not much better. I had told him if he wanted to see a particular house, to give me ample notice (as it was not close by) and I would be happy to oblige him. So what does he do? He calls me minutes before he wants to go see it and expects me to meet him and his family over there! On a weekend, at that! I firmly told him I would not be able to go right then, but would be happy to schedule it for the next day. (Now, in his defense, up until this time, he had shown great consideration in calling and meeting me at other times, so this was really a shock and surprise that he would do this! The first client, however, I had a "funny feeling" about all along - so his MIA stunt this weekend shouldn't have been a surprise! Still, both incidents riled me enough to vent with this hub!)

Don't people realize that when they so casually break their word, that they also break your trust in them? Is it more disrespect they have for themselves, rather than for you? Are they just so "me focused", that they don't CARE about other's feelings or time? Or maybe they are "time rebellious" because they were raised by an overbearing "military-type" parent who kept them on a tight schedule when they were younger. Whatever the reason, there is really NO EXCUSE to keep someone waiting or wondering where you are, and not have the DECENCY to at least call or reschedule the plans you had made with them. Its called "common courtesy", and no matter how young or old you are, it NEVER goes out of style - even for the "me generation"!

Something else I've noticed about inconsiderate people - they are always the FIRST to complain about someone being inconsiderate to THEM! Isn't that ironic? OR, they expect you to just "know" or "read their mind", as to WHY they were so inconsiderate of your time. Such as saying, "you should have known that I'd be late", or "you know how forgetful I am". Excuses! ( I have a friend who's like this and she makes NO APOLOGIES for her behavior!) Makes me feel like saying, "Well, no, my magic ball is in the shop, and I FORGOT how forgetful YOU ARE!!! And that's just it - the worst part is how to deal with inconsiderate people. How do you "tactfully" tell them just how rude and inconsiderate they really are? Naturally, considerate people don't like to be rude to anyone - even other rude people! (So, we just hold in our anger and write a hub! lol!!)

Seriously, if anyone has any secret tips that you use to confront or respond to inconsiderate people without being too rude, I'd love to hear them! With my last real estate client, I just left a very "firm" message on his voicemail letting him know I expected a response by such-and-such a time, but what I REALLY wanted to say couldn't be published within the boundaries of this hub site! Still, I wish I knew some really clever responses to use when I run across the really inconsiderate people like the ones I had this weekend!

Finally, I remember something a high school teacher said to our class one time about being late for class: "Unless you're dead, in a coma, or have a hand-delivered note from your doctor, you'd BETTER be to class on TIME!" And you know what? There was hardly EVER a tardy student in that class the whole year! Hmm... maybe I should use THAT one with MY real estate clients!

How Do You Deal With Rude or Inconsiderate People?

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    • Seira Girl profile imageAUTHOR

      Lisa Tippette 

      5 years ago from North Carolina

      I wrote this hub over 2 years ago, and its interesting to still see comments about how rude people still are - and a little bit disheartening. Lets all make a resolution in 2015 to be MORE respectful of each other's time, and call out those who are not! Happy New Year, and thanks to all for the great comments! Keep 'em coming!

    • profile image

      Jorge Guevara 

      5 years ago from Boston, Massachusetts

      This phenomenon really bugs me, as the the resources of time and respect can't be recovered. I don't see the point to jerk people around, especially those who care about you. I just rode an hour to visit a friend who needed moral support, and when I got there, he was no where to be found. I've had my doubts and always try to cut him some slack, but this proves my point. It tells me I'm good enough to rescue him, but if there's a better offer out there, he'll leave me out in the cold (literally, it's -4 degrees tonight). To that , I say 'gracias por nada "thanks for nothing", as that time I burned, cannot get back. He knew I'd be there, and like a taxi service, would wait patiently until he was ready. After two hours I get a measly response, but I already left. The only thing it did is cost him trust and respect from a so called good friend.

    • OwlAlwaysLoveYou profile image


      6 years ago from San Francisco

      I completely agree! I think the age of cell phones has made people lazy about keeping commitments. When I was a kid you said you would meet someone at the playground at 4 and guess what? They showed up! Now I find myself calling friends an hour before we meet just to double check that we are still on.

    • Didge profile image


      7 years ago from Southern England

      Great hub! I really enjoyed reading it.

    • susan54 profile image


      8 years ago

      Seira Girl, VOTE UP! I 100% agree with you. I also do real Estate and work at the front desk law office. I see this happen all of the time.Thank you for the hub. I find people young and old to more and more inconsiderate with new technology people just have to much access to each other these days. Bye, You can come read my hub I do not mind,Lol

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I just had this problem with an alleged female friend we had plans to hang out 3 events - she never called, texted, emailed nothing!!! She THEN sent an email to apologize claiming she had a medical scare but now its all fine - like WTF - well i did not really accpt her reasoning and apology because she made PLANS - i told her she could have sent a text or something - so really i don't even believe anything of this medical scare - and she is the same person that says let me call u RIGHT back and never EVER does... She is very inconsiderate and self centered and i told her it was complete disrespect of someones time and that now basically i would never make plans wth her again OR really deal with her any longer she said she feels terrible i was like u should i would NEVER EVER do that to ANYONE EVER!!!! The guy that did it - he said he thought i would call him back when i woke up - he said he was coming to visit and never did BUT he apologized and i know he might have thought i was not really interested in seeing him - he is a good man and a stand up guy... no lame excuses from him at least though he did not really like that i go a little annoyed with him about that but he will get over it and we will remain friends HE has always been good to me.. The female friend on the other hand is a known hater she has a husband that cheats, and other issues - i have a degree, a professional job, i own my condo - and i am very pretty and in great shape so that may also be her reasoning for the way she TRIES to treat me - but i just ended that our friendship is pretty much over i don't like people that have zero integrity!!!!! and are completely inconsiderate!!!!!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I feel exactly the same way. I'm a part of the 'me' generation, but it pisses me off, cuz it's hardto make friends or meet a decent guy, cuz they all flake on you so easily. I went to pick up this guy whom i like and has said he likes me, at 7:30. He even told me at 4 that he was excited to spend time with me tonight. I was giddy throughout work and everything. I get there at 7:20, and his gma answers the door and says he's not home! What. The. FRICK!! His phone was also dead, so no way to get ahold of him. So annnnnoying! I wasted my time and my gas just to find out he wasn't there when he said he would be. I feel like i won't ever get married because of how inconsiderate my generation is. They don't give a CRAP!

      If people were this way about their job, they would be fired, so why are they like this about their friendships and relationships? It is simply too rude for words!

    • profile image

      Josh M 

      8 years ago

      Man you rock ! I am sick of reading stuff to be more considerate to inconsiderate it shouldn't be something blanketly accepted. Thanks for your righteous anger! And thanks for making my day that bit brighter !

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      9 years ago from Chicago

      Thank you for a fine Hub. I agree with you. All types of civility and manners are lacking. I think it has to do with multiculturalism taught in schools, which denigrates American custom and tradition.

    • Seira Girl profile imageAUTHOR

      Lisa Tippette 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Thanks, Rose - you're right - there are still a lot of good, decent people in the world - and those who aren't will probably never change! I just have to remember it is THEIR problem, as they are making life harder for themselves, than they are for me! lol!!

    • Rose Kolowinski profile image

      Rose Kolowinski 

      9 years ago

      I hear you! I get so disgusted with all the inconsiderate people out there too! I'm not sure there is anything you could say, rude or otherwise, that would get through to them. They just don't get it. Stay true...there are lots of us who do have common courtesy. Nice hub!


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