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Why No Dogs Can Ever Be Democrats

Updated on March 11, 2010

Why No Dogs Will Ever Be Democrats

I got to thinking the other day about why dogs will never become Democrats.  Oh, sure, you hear a lot in the news lately about so-called “blue dog Democrats.”  But, you know, they’re not real dogs. Certainly, no self-respecting canine would much care to be colored blue. Or, for that matter, ever feel blue and melancholy. Feeling down-in-the-mouth, by the way, is pretty much reserved for working waterfowl fetch dogs, who seasonally experience it.

But, dogs and the Democrat party are just naturally alien to each other. If you’re curious enough to care or wonder why, consider first that dogs have a well known quality called loyalty.  Democrats, conversely, exhibit none of that nonsense. They show no shame in throwing party members, deemed no longer of value, under the bus. Then too, dogs, for the most part, truly like people, while Democrat hierarchy seems indifferent, adept only at using people to advance their agenda.

Dogs can be relied on to be flexible and adaptable in most situations, while Democrats display a hardnosed point of view with little tendency toward  accommodation. Seldom do they offer conflicting viewpoints a charitable leg up; male K9s, however, unanimously favor such a stance.

Moreover, credited with phenomenal olfactories, millions of times greater than humans, dogs can thus  be said to always smell much better than Democrats, who, many aver, never smell good.

Never bite the hand that feeds them is a well known truth about dogs. On the other hand, many Democrat senators and congressional representatives cavalierly ignore the wishes of their constituents, to vote, in their infinite wisdom, the way they want.

Finally, let us point out that when male dogs are neutered, they become less aggressive or territorial. Perhaps, were this solution applied to Democrats, the nation might well be better off, and dogs could, at least think about joining the party.  


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