Young Women: You Can Reduce Your Risks for Being Raped or Murdered
For Young Wojmen Only
Another 18 year old woman from m my area is missing. Most of us fear she will be like the others and will either never be found or, her lifeless body will be found in some remote area,where a cold-hearted rapist dumped her. The message below is for young women only. particularly those living on college campuses or on their own for the first time. Freedom is sweet but she is dangerous too.
Rape happens to women of all ages and without provocation but this article is for the young, the naïve and, the ones that don't think it can happen to them.
Will you give me three minutes of your time?
If you are a young woman under the age of 30, you’re probably doing some of the same stupid things I did when I was your age. If you are as lucky as me, you’ll get by with it and live a long, long time with no ill effects from your stupidity. But what if you’re not? It’s time to talk about reducing your risks for rape or murder so that you will have a future.
Chances are that you’ll skip over this and not read more than a sentence or two. You don’t want to hear it because you already know everything. Trust me; I felt the same way when I was your age. Nobody knew more than me and I was sure that all the adults in my life were just trying to keep me from having fun. I was hardheaded to a fault. No one was going to control me, not if I could help it. My mother once called me incorrigible. I didn’t know what that meant exactly but I wore it like a trophy. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes so I am going to ask you nicely to please, take three minutes and read what I am going to tell you.
What is Risk Reduction and Why Does It Matter
I want to talk about some specific risk reduction methods. First though, let me explain what I mean by “risk reduction”. If, like me, you are doing things that seem fun without giving much thought to the consequences, you are in real danger. I want to make you think, really think, about what can and maybe will happen if you don’t stop. I want to give you some tips that will help you protect yourself from being raped or murdered. So, let’s get going.
Men and Sex
I hope that got your attention. It probably did since it’s all you think about if you’re younger than 30 years old. They look good and they say nice things to you and if you’re lucky, they probably even take you out and show you a good time. That’s how it should be.Men are wonderful creatures but they aren't all good.
There are three kinds of men when it comes to sex. I want to talk about each of the three because you need to be prepared for each kind.
The Good Guys
Most young men are good guys. They want a good girl and they want to plan a future. You’ll never have to worry about a good guy taking advantage of you. He will treat you like a lady and be respectful to you, your family, and your friends. He may want to have sex with you but he won’t ever make you feel obligated. If he’s worth having, he will be willing to wait until you are ready. He’s probably worth keeping around.
The Not So Good Guys
Some men are not so good and they are only looking for a good time. They want to be seen by their friends when they are with a pretty girl and they want to brag about what you’re doing for them. In other words, they want their friends to think you’re giving “it” to them or “putting out”. You know what I mean, right?
Those guys, the not so good ones, will lie about you to their friends. They will tell their friends they are getting “it” even when they aren’t. Did you know that men are jealous, just like women? It’s true and if one guy says you’re giving “it” to him, his friends might want it too. They aren’t any more loyal to their friends than girls are. They will wait like a vulture for the right opportunity and then they will try to take “it” from you. Most will threaten you or try to intimidate you to keep the secret, even if they don’t get “it”.
The Bad Guys
Bad guys just don’t give a crap and will take “it” whether you want them to or not. Yes, l am talking about rape. Some guys are just out there prowling around looking for someone to rape.
They don’t care about your feelings. They don’t care about your body. They just enjoy the fight and taking what doesn’t belong to them.
All of the three types of guys that I have described have the potential to hurt you; really hurt you.
When a guy wants you to give “it” to him and you don’t want to, things can get out of control pretty fast. What starts as a rise in hormones can become an uncontrollable urge. An uncontrollable urge can turn into rage and if it can’t be stopped, you will be raped and possibly killed. Rape resisted can quickly become murder.
Let's create our own statistics
Do you know someone who has been raped or murdered because a rape went wrong?
How to Reduce Your Risk of Being Raped or Murdered
The statistics are staggering and growing. I don’t want you to become a statistic. I don’t want you to be afraid. I don’t want you to be raped. I don’t want you to be murdered. So, you have to reduce your risks. I can’t do it for you.
The things I am going to ask of you are not difficult. They can save your life and that’s what this is all about. I know you don’t think it will happen to you and I pray that it never does. But, I want you to be prepared Justin case. Your life is worth it. Even if you think you are in a loving relationship, you can still become a victim. The following suggestions will give you the best chance of surviving.
10 Steps to Reduce Your Risks
- Take a self-defense class for women. Contact your local law enforcement office or YMCA. They can refer you to a class.
- Always tell someone where you are going, who you are going with and. when you expect to return home.
- When hiking, biking, jogging, or shopping, use a buddy system. Take someone with you.
- Carry a cell phone and pepper spray.
- Invest in a personal alarm. They are inexpensive and small enough to fit in a pocket or to hang around your neck.
- Pay attention to your surroundings. Make mental notes about landmarks and sounds (i.e. trains, machines),
- If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, use your cell phone to take a picture of the person you are with. Your camera will date and time stamp the photo.
- If you feel threatened and are near other people, don’t hesitate to scream.
- Never leave a drink unattended. Date rape drugs come in many forms and can quickly be slipped into a drink while you’re in the restroom or dancing.
- Don’t tempt fate with your appearance. Good guys appreciate a woman who remains a little mysterious. Revealing too much of yourself is an invitation to the not so good guys.
- From Missing to Murdered in the Commonwealth of Virginia
It is a pain one cannot understand until one has lived it. It is the pain of a missing child found murdered. It is the pain of gut-wrenching fear, profound loss and unfulfilled dreams.
Why Do I Care?
I care because I survived my youth. I care because I did all the wrong things and was lucky. I care because my heart is sick over the number of beautiful young women in my area who have disappeared and were never found or, were found alone and dead in isolated areas where they were dumped after being raped and murdered. I want to save your life because you are worth it. You have your whole life ahead of you and I don’t want it to end in horror. I don’t want y our parents to be heartbroken.
You can do something now that prevents you from becoming a name on the national news. You don’t have to be a Morgan Harrington or an Alexis Murphy, or a Hannah Graham. You don’t have to be one of the beautiful young women who went out for a good time and never came back. But you could be.
You don’t know me and yore probably thinking that I don’t know what I’m talking about. It won’t happen to you. You’re right; I am no expert. I am nothing more than someone who survived her stupidity of youth and I want you to do the same. Think about it, okay?
Resources for Parents
- Keep Your Daughter Safe
I’m just a guy who has gotten sick and tired of hearing about yet another young woman being raped and killed. I’M JUST A GUY WHO HAS DECIDED THAT RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT IS NOT A RITE of passage FOR WOMEN.
- Preventing Sexual Assault on College Campuses | PACT5
Learn how education and awareness can help prevent sexual assault on college campuses. Make the pact, spread the word.
- Rape On Campus | Links and Resources
© 2014 Linda Crist