A list of things "Cool/Uncool" (***Updated Continuously & Again on 12/1/17***)

"Acting" cool. NEVER cool.

Barry Manilow/Barry Manilow

Faith/Hopelessness

"You're Welcome."/"Not a/No Problem." (Wow. I'm not a problem for you. Gee. Thanks. ;o})

The Byrds/Harsh Words

The Beatles/Dirty Needles

The Stones/Broken Bones

The Kinks/Rat Finks

BTO/BO

The Eagles/Sick Beagles

Tom Petty/Stale Spaghetti

Bests/Pests

Goofily/Ruefully

Peppy/Petty

Playfully/Painfully

Unify/Crucify

Fantastical Parties/Political Parties

The Beatles/Pop Music Feebles

Optimism/Cynicism

Befittingly/Belittlingly

Tough Love/Not Enough Love

Pleased/Sleazed

Hugs/Bugs

Hanging In/Giving In

"My very best is ALWAYS MORE than good enough!"/"I'm just not good enough."

Lyrical/Cynical

Resolute/Destitute

Considerate/Dispirited

Perseverance/Ignorance

Chin Up/Spit Up

Props/Flops

Bountiful/Pitiful

Satisfying/Sissifying

All In/Cop Out

Building Up/Beating Down

Letting it go/Holding on to anger

Dances/Dunces

Rock 'n Roll/Internet Troll

Abide/Snide

Whistling/Whipping

Bright/Trite

Anticipation/Degradation

Progress/Transgress

America The Beautiful/America The Pitiful

All In/Wimping Out

Challenging Yourself/Cheating Yourself

Keeping The Faith/Keepin' It Fake

Respect and Regard just because it's the right thing to do/Forced Political Correctness

Resplendent/Redundant

Courteous/Churlish

Consideration/Consternation

Hugging/Mugging

Introspection/Interruption

Better/Bitter

Convivial/Trivial

"Festing"/Festering

Selfies (For the time being...)/Selfish

Champagne/Shin Pain

Resolve/Resent

Commit/Quit

Celebration/Frustration

Sunny Disposition/Stormy Premonition

Die Hard Fanatics/Fair Weather Fans

Book Readers/CliffsNotes Cheaters

Mercy/Misery

A pretty gal's laugh/@ a nervous guy's gaff

Character Building/Character Assassination

Full Disclosure/"Anonymous Sources"

Exercising/Criticizing

Sharing/Hoarding

"It is. It actually IS."/"It's, like, ...(fill in your own blank here)."

Plain Talk/"Up"-Talk

"Merry Christmas"/"Happy Hanukkah"/"Joyous Kwanza"/Any other end-of-year Holiday Wishes particularly meaningful to you/"Happy (PC) Holidaze"...ENOUGH already-Celebrate as you so choose and Mutually Respect, people. We can DO it!!

True Blue/The Blues

Authenticated/Fabricated

Being a Goof/Being Aloof

Chillin'/Killin'

Pink or Purple/Mauve-Pick a dang color and go with it, man!!!

That's Success/That Sucks

Wild @ Heart/A Grumpy Ol' Fart

A Sunny Disposition/A Crummy Predilection

The Best is The Best/And a Pest is a Pest

Keep Your Chin Up/You might as well Give Up

A Smile for All/So Vile to All

An Old Soul/An Old Fool

Nostalgia/Fibromyalgia

Persistence/Pestilence

Respectful/Regretful

Helpful/Hateful

Sharing/Shunning

Beaming/Reaming

Hyper comical/Hypercritical

Ease Up/Beat Up

Fastidious/Insidious

Tolerate/Desecrate

Don't Stop Believing/When in the hell are you ever gonna START believing?!

Rockin' Out/Rock Bottom

Active Listening/Passive Aggression

Stopping to Smell The Roses/Trampling over The Garden

Progress/Congress

Genuine/Manipulative

Tolerance/Ambivalence

Dances/Dunces

Live & Let Live/Discrimination

The Wonder of it All/"Whatever" to it all

"Do-able" New Year's Resolutions/Failure to pay restitution

Appreciating what ya got/Whining about what is not

Everything is beautiful/"Unachievable" is dutiful

Reading with your kid/Wishing you did

Premier Champagne/Smear Campaign

Self-Respect/Self-Neglect

Pro Education/Curriculum Frustration

Generosity/Pomposity

What a Blast!/What a (yaaawwwn) Bore

Tasty/Tasteless

Competitive/Repetitive

Funny/Runny

Plus/Fuss

Authentic/Pathetic

True/Blue (Mood)

Trust/Misplaced Faith

Fun/What a Drag

Wanting to/Having to

Kung Fu/Tofu

A satisfying solution/Devastating pollution

More for everyone!/That's all u git

Forgiveness/Forever giving in to a grudge

Easing up on yourself/Always being so dang hard on yourself

Life's Little Joys/Life Sucks

Good job!/That's as good as you can do?

Grin/Grim

Wholehearted effort/Half-Assin' it

Lovely/Slovenly

Anticipation/Constipation

Pomp & Circumstance/Pomposity

Chillin'/Illin'

Art/Fart

Halloween/Halitosis

Full-Size Candy Bars droppin' in your Trick or Treat Bag/"Fun Size" Candy Bars droppin' in your Trick or Treat Bag

Unexpected/As Expected

Cool/Cruel

Jumping for Joy/Jumping to Conclusions

Results/Insults

The Spirit of Santa Claus/There is no Santa Claus

Energy/Lethargy

Upbeat/"Up Talk"

Loving/Loafing

Debates/Reprobates

Snoopy/Snippy

Pressure Washing/Pressure Selling

One more lap/Sittin' with a bag of Lays on your lap thinkin' about doing ONE lap-JUST DO IT!

Breaking Clouds/Breaking Windows

True to Yourself/False Pretenses

There's always something to look forward to/Pessimism

The sweet sound of Violins/The ugliness of violence

"Just because."/"Now you owe me."

Infinite patience/Constant maintenance

Strawberry Jelly/Traffic Jam

Pride of Ownership/Bust it then Buy, Buy Again

Banana Splits/Shin Splints

Turbo-Charged/Turbulence

Celebrate/Infuriate

I like your shirt/What's the deal with the shirt?

Hope/Mope

Trust/Rust

Useful/Abusive

Expecting Nothing for an Act of Kindness/Expecting Something for Nothing

Thinking for yourself/"Groupthink"

Miles Davis/Miley Cyrus

You're Good 2 Go right straight out of The Shower/It's gonna be a Bad Hair Day

Over delivering/Shortchanging

Nice/Vice

Pretty/Prickly

Honorability/Infidelity

Humility like a Truck/Ego run amuck

Smooth/Smooz

Culture/Cults

Inexpensive/Cheap

Overjoyed/Overpriced

A Good Kinna Crying/Pretty much any other kinna crying

Celebrating and Savoring Christmas/Rushing and Ruining Christmas

Why not?/Why bother?

Making fun/Making fun of

Cherishing/Chastising

Befriending/Belittling

Dashing/Trashing

Beauty shining from within, and ever-growing/Beauty withering on the outside, and that's all ya got goin' for ya

Powerful/Pitiful

"Prop" a Pal/Burn a Buddy

Sunny Disposition/Stormy Temper

Reliable/Repugnant

Fired Up!/Burned Out

Celebratory/Bummin'

Delightful/Depraved

Ethical/Pathological

Spiritually "Plugged In"/Desensitized

Resplendent/Despondent

Inspirational/Lackadaisical

Innovation/Redundancy

Ordering a round/Ordering around

Soaring/Sulking

Whimsy/Flimsy

Generous/Hideous

What a blast!/What a...yaaaaawn...bore.

Tasteful/Wasteful

Luck Out/Stuck Up

I can DO it/Aw, jus' screw it

I'm behind ya/I'm bailin' on ya

Savory/Slavery

Exercise/Excuses

Forgiveness/Harboring an emotionally paralyzing Grudge

I'm important. But there are those I love who are more important than me./I'm important. How could anyone possibly be more important than me?!

Education/Degradation

Blissful/Just...okay, I guess

Bigger than that/Too small to understand "Bigger than that"

Doing your Best/Doing enough to get by

Grin & Bear it/Screamin' and Swearin'

Looking for "The Good"/Always pointing out "The Bad"

Luscious/Noxious

Determined/Undermined

Beautification/Contamination

1st & 10/4th & 20 (When you've got the ball, that is)

"Good luck with that"/"You got no chance with that"

Everything in Moderation/"Super Sizing" Everything

Designated Drivers/Drunk Drivers

"Here's what you're doin' that's good"/"Here's what you're doin' that sucks" (particularly when that's ALL you ever hear)

Full Disclosure/Partial Truth

Grounded/Above it All

Goodwill/Ill Will

Get knocked down, & then get right back up/Get knocked down, & then just stay down

Rejoicing/Griping

Look at all I got goin' for me/Look at all I don't got

Goofballs/Speedballs

"Merry Christmas!" (if you celebrate the Holiday)/"Happy Holidays" (with continuing due respect to the occasion you may observe)

Standing Ovation/Aggravation

Talking/"Interfacing"

Resurgence/Resignation

Hugging/Slugging

Second Chances/Limitless "Free Passes"

Taking Accountability/Shirking Responsibility

Work-Life Balance/Work IS my life

Our kids are the axis of our existence/Our kids are the bain of our existence

The 1970s/Insidious Vanities

"I will carry on."/"I give up."

Home Cooked/Broken Home

Happiness for your friend's success/Envious of your friend's success (They're your friends, man! Root 'em on!)

Small Victories/Colossal Failures

Reading Books/Channel Surfing when you KNOW nothing's on

Samuel Clemens/Roger Clemens

Giving due credit to others/"Hogging" all the credit for yourself

Understated/Overblown

Respecting History/Living in the Past

Guilty Pleasure/Guilty as Sin

Determination/Deterioration

Striving/Contriving

Respecting your Elders/Rejecting your Elders

Hospitality/Hostility

We'll get 'er done/Can't, Can't, Can't

Searching for Solutions/Digging for Excuses

Beseech/Besmirch

Hearty/Heartless

The Celebration of Life/The Desecration of Life

Encouraging One's Vision/Discouraging One's Dream

Transcending/Condescending

Befitting/Belittling

Sincerity/Disparity

Giving Thanks/Taking for Granted

Words of Healing/Words of Wounding

Good Natured/Mean Spirited

Lighthearted/Heavy-Handed

Confidence/Conning

Straight Talk/Double Talk

Transparent Goals/Hidden Agendas

It actually is/It's, like, (fill in the blank)

Rich History/Cheap Histrionics

Meaning It/Demeaning It

Bipartisanship/Going down with the ship, spouting the tired party line as you (we) sink

Teaching/"Just do what I say"

Paying it forward, with personal gain or not/What's in this for me?

"Help me understand..."/"That's a stupid thing to say."

Gratitude/Entitlement

Respecting your employees/Stifling Micromanagement

Stuffed Animals/Stuffed Shirts

"Good game"/"You were lucky"

Sweating from hard work/Sweating the small stuff

Taking Care of Your Own/Taking Care of Your Own Hide

Realizing Your Potential/Denying Your Gifts

Smiling/Reviling

Respectable/Despicable

Engaging/Enraging

Laid Back/Hard Ass

Full Service/Lip Service

Hard Rock/Hard Time

Real Living/Reality TV

Devoted Dads/Detached Dads

Complimenting someone for no reason/Putting someone down for no reason

Honest Sincerity/Crippling Sarcasm

Soccer Fanatics/Soccer Hooligans

Hot Rod/"A-Rod"

Humble Heroes/Blowhard Zeroes

Baylor/The University of Texas-Ha-Ha-Ha!! SIC' EM BEARS!!!

The Seattle Seahawks/The San Francisco 49'ers-Jim Harbaugh is a total DOOF! GO HAWKS!!!

Kickin' it Ol' Skul/Getting Kicked Outta School

White Guy/Caucasian Male (This from a White Guy mind you)

People with BIG Hearts/People with small minds

A True Gift/Fabricated "Talent"

Humbling oneself/Believing you're "above it all" (News Flash: You're not)

Being happy with what you have/Having it all and still you're miserable

Resilience/Giving Life Permission to Beat You Down

Embracing Change/Stuck in a Rut

Giving when you lack/Not giving when you have plenty

How may I help you?/What can you do for me?

Sharing/What's Mine is Mine

Getting Up Off The Mat/Throwing in The Towel

Eat 'til you're full/Eat like a fool

Chivalry/Misogyny

How ya doin'?/What do you want?

There's others I like better/I hate that

I respect you're feelings/You shouldn't feel that way (Never apologize for your feelings. They're your feelings)

Patience/Pushiness

Inexpensive/Cheap

I never want this movie to end/When will this movie finally end?!

Guys in touch with their "feminine side"/Guys who ask, "What the hell is a 'feminine side'"?

Pushing Yourself/Kidding Yourself

Living Out Loud/Living in a Cloud

The Right Thing To Do /The Convenient Thing To Do

Challenging Yourself/Underestimating Yourself

It's on Me/Woe is Me

Credibility/Credulity

The Buck Stops Here/Passing The Buck

Accountability/It's not me. It's never me.

Kicking Butt/Kissing Butt

Active Listeners/"Acting" Listeners

Soaring through and above the clouds/"The Glass Ceiling"

Constructive Criticism/Destructive Cynicism

Can Do/Won't even Try

Listening Up/Shouting Down

Bucking Up/Sucking Up

Keeping up with your kids/"Keeping Up with The Kardashians"

Air Guitar/Air Head

Commendation/Condemnation

The Book/The Movie (Darn near always)

Benevolence/Violence

Delicious/Malicious

Flashy/Trashy

Classy Losers/Poor Winners

Better/Bitter

Intense/Pretense

Real Vision/"Reality Television"

71 & Nary a Cloud in The Sky :o)/Scattered Showers, Turning to Rain & Thunderstorms for the Weekend :o(

Hugging/Mugging

Passive Resistance/Passive/Aggressive

Fresh Approach/Stale Stagnation

Patriotism/An alarming lack of appreciation for what it means to be an American

Humility/Cockiness

Generosity/Greed

Persevering/Quitting on Yourself and Others

Empowering/Patronizing

Passionate Devotion/"Fair Weather" Fans

Sincerity/Duplicity

Fair/Farce

Building Up/Beating Down

Recognizing Academic Excellence in our Children and Promoting such/Systematically Fostering Mediocre Academic Performance for All of our Kids (What?! STOP It!)

Trying your damndest, results be damned/Afraid to Fail

Van Halen/Van Halen Reunion

Original Stones/"Sold-Out" Stones

Cutting Edge Eddie Murphy/Castrated Eddie Murphy

Working together to do what's best for Americans/Paralyzing America with Bi-Partisan B.S.

Joyous/Callous

Uplifted/Downtrodden

Magic/Tragic

Optimists/Pessimists

Color Blind/Racist

Trying/Trying

Support/Supplant

Benevolence/Self-Absorption

Gratitude/Cavalier Entitlement

Smiles/Glares

The Original/"Remakes"

Built to Last/Built Too Fast

Optimistic Outlook/Defeatist Attitude

Win-Win/Win-Don't Really Care Either Way

Respect for your Elders/No use for your Elders

Animal Rights/Animal Cruelty

The Classics/The Classless

Consideration for others/Oblivious to others

Waving In/Cutting Off

Acceptance/Intolerance

Quiet Dignity/Pomposity

Others above Self/Self Absorbed

Politeness/Disregard

"Thank You"/Silence

Small Talk/Small Minds

Self Esteem/Small-Mindedness

Unconditional Love/Convenient Caring

Paying it Forward/"Payback's a Bitch"

Moving Movies/Cynical Cinema (of the paying audience)

Letting it slide/Refusing to let go

Live Performances/Lip-Syncing

Full Effort/"Mailing It In"

Wholly Original/Blatantly Derivative

Free Spirit/Denying Full Potential

Striving/Settling

Young of Spirit/Giving In

Commitment/Wimping Out

Integrity/Sucking Up

Respectful/Patronizing

Giving Thanks/Giving Attitude

“Rocky” and “Rocky II”/All the Rocky’s thereafter

Productive Solutions/Bitch Sessions

Sensitivity/Hostility

Passion/Sleepwalking Through Life

Listening/"Winning" Your Point

Fire in The Belly/Arrogant Detachment

From The Heart/Selling Out

Thinking/Brain Rot

G-L-O-R-I-A Gloooooooria!/Gloria Allred

Hank Aaron/Barry Bonds

Eating Healthy/Mindless Eating

Steroids/Strength Conditioning

The historic achievements of NASA/The callous scrapping of NASA

Caring Teachers/"Couldn't Care Less" Teachers

Team above Individual/"Dig me"

Sportsmanship/"Bad Sports"

Urban Renewal/Urban Decay

Racial Tolerance/Racism

Collecting/Hoarding

The Paris Hilton/Paris Hilton

Generosity/Greed

Lovers/Haters

True Believers/Justin Bieber

Smiles/Scowls