Those of us who have decided to identify through our Neanderthal DNA have a list of demands for all identifying through their homo sapien DNA.
1. Return our ancestral lands.
2. Pay compensation for natural resources borrowed over the last 30,000 years.
3. Turn over 1/3 of all business and industry as compensation for stealng our past, present and future.
4. Enact laws and legislation declaring us an oppressed and entitled class, in order to allow us the opportunity to advance, as a subset of homo erectus, to the level of inclusion and acceptance enough to permanently lay to rest attitudes by homo sapiens which result in beliefs of superiority of intellectual capabilities and tool making.
5. Outlaw any speech,including jokes and commercials, which portray us as less evolved.
6. (This one is desired, but not a mandatory act) We'd like to see terms which are currently considered synonyms with the word Neanderthal deemed politically incorrect.
Those of you interested in becoming this exciting subset of civilization and given the go ahead to proudly use the #Neanderthal symbol (without being accused of cultural misappropriation) must be able to prove they currently carry 2% or more Neanderthal DNA.
That those brutish, under evolved creatures have degraded the pure Australopithecine DNA of true and pure humans is no reason to give them anything at all. Instead, they owe humanity rent for the land they occupied for thousands of years and for the degradation of our DNA.
As someone with almost 4% Neanderthal DNA I find this to be extremely offensive. You should be thanking us for getting rid of all that back hair, man.
You are the ones responsible for my freezing anywhere outside of the equatorial region. No, you won't be thanked!
How homo sapien of you. I assume you'd also like us to foot the bill for the removal of our DNA from your calorically efficient bodies.
Anyone who knows me knows that I fall into this category , I want among other entitlements , the one thing you failed to mention directly the affirmative action to allow me to progress equally into today's world and reparations for the anglo war against me and my people .
I believe both points were addressed. Although I was lamented to discover some afterthoughts which should have been included.
We'd like our own month declared. We demand all scientists and public figures past,and present, be tested for the percentage of Neanderthal DNA in order to prove our suspicion that it is our DNA which made all modern inventions possible.
And, we'd like Google. All of it. And Facebook. We want to be able to manipulate you homo sapiens into moving faster on our demands.
Paid holiday , minted gold medallions or coins , neanderthal tee shirt sayings , subway and bus advertising and a march on Washington D.C. for our supporters , Can we go on" the view ' too please ?
did something happen recently or is this spur-of-the-moment brilliance?
It was just a joke but considering the current climate I think another could have posted it as a serious demand.
Me too. The funny thing is I found my demands completely reasonable when reading back through them.
It's interesting how you can easily justify what others would deem extreme foolishness when you attempt to identify as the victim.
I mean this kind of fits the bill: http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/morneau … -1.4597878
I don’t understand the point of forcing someone to apologize. It’s obviously not going to be genuine or sincere... so why do you want it?!
Canadian politics can be hilariously childish sometimes. Remember Elbowgate?
Wait, there's actually a Neanderthal controversy happening.
How is this real?
Copyright © 2022 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of Maven Coalition, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|