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Horse Meat Jokes

Updated on May 23, 2015

Best Horse Meat Jokes and Beef Burger Jokes

These are the best horse meat jokes from the 2013 horse meat scandal - these jokes just go to prove that the whole food and meat industry is no laughing matter!

The scandal came to light early in the year the news that horse DNA had been found in Tesco 'beef' burgers. The story quickly escalated and soon the headlines were shrieking that some processed meat products labelled 'beef' were up to 100% horse. Ministers came on the TV to tell us that the burgers were safe to eat (remember the little girl being fed beef burgers by John Gummer during the Mad Cow scandal?) but it soon transpired that the meat industry was in a global mess that reached as far away as Mexico and Romania.

Fit to eat? They didn't even know where the meat was coming from. Forged passports, 'bute' a drug given to race horses and illegal horse trafficking were all uncovered.

Furthermore issues of animal care, transportation, poaching of wild horses and a host of other animal welfare issues are raised. I see the dark humor as a way of flagging up the unacceptability of the modern processed food industry practices.

Who was to blame? The big retailers, Tesco, Findus, Birds Eye, Iceland and Ikea - to name but a few, or was it the suppliers, the abattoirs, the local authorities of the recession?

As always, though, there is a silver lining, and the human race is always quick to rise above adversity. One horse meat scandal spin-off are the large number of horse meat joke and beefburger jokes that abound on the internet. Here are just a few of the tastiest horse meat jokes and the best burger jokes for your delectation and to regale you while you flick through your vegetarian and vegan cookbooks to find something safe to eat!

Bon apetite - enjoy!

Find my Zazzle shop, lestroischenes here
Find my Zazzle shop, lestroischenes here | Source

All designs come in a whole load of gifts, from bags to buttons, doggie jackets to dart boards!

Horse Meat Jokes - I laughed until I was a little hoarse!

don't forget to look on Google Images. Search for horse meat jokes and you'll find a whole host of fabulous visual jokes.

Some of my favourite horsemeat and beefburger jokes

  1. Horsemeat - it's an unbridled disaster
  2. Keep calm and avoid Lasagne
  3. People who don't like horsemeat are blinkered.
  4. Bought a Lasagne online and wondered why it said "add to cart"?
  5. I got fired from the meat factory because I got an e-mail about a delivery of horse meat and I marked it as spam.
  6. Dunno why people are complaining about this horsemeat story.
  7. A horse is basically just a really fit cow.
  8. Really wish everyone would rein in the horse meat puns!

Beef burgers are a night mare!

Horse Meat - It's No Joke - But you can get canned Unicorn on Amazon

"Tesco's veggie burgers - made with 100% uniQuorn"

Unicorn meat?

Think Geek Canned Unicorn Meat
Think Geek Canned Unicorn Meat
Didn't like the horsemeat burgers? Tried canned Unicorn.

Best Beef Burger Jokes - Horsemeat in beef burgers

  1. Horse burgers: I canter believe it. Whinny they going to withdraw the product? I bridle at the very thought.
  2. Best burgers recipe. Mince meat, garlic powder, paprika, fresh herbs, an egg and fine diced stallions. I mean.... Scallions.
  3. HSE confirm that all who ate #horseburgers are in a stable condition
  4. In ten years time you’ll be praying for some horsemeat in your cockroach burgers
  5. I hope Tesco were selling those burgers at hoof price

Tesco Horse Meat Jokes - Horse meat in Tesco burger jokes

  1. Has anyone tested Tesco's veggie burgers for uniquorn yet? (sorry)
  2. "Sir, we've discovered horse meat in your burgers." Tesco boss: "Why the long face?"
  3. "Two Tesco burgers please.. hold the dressage"
  4. 29% of the meat content in Tesco's hamburgers turns out to be horse?! No wonder they gave me the trots!
  5. It was only discovered that some Tescos meat contains traces of horse when several customers got the trots.
  6. A Tesco burger walks into a bar. "Pint please". "I can't hear you" says the barman. "Sorry" replies the burger. "I'm a little bit horse".
  7. "Horses for Courses", the name of Tesco's new in-house restaurant chain
  8. Despite the recent news, Tesco's say that their beef burger sales remain stable.
  9. Shocking news. Tesco own brand value hamburgers have been found to have traces of real MEAT in them.

Why British people don't eat horse

No Horse Meat Please, We're British!: Does the food industry really care?
No Horse Meat Please, We're British!: Does the food industry really care?
No end to the lengths the food industry will go to to make profit? This book examines the horse meat scandal and asks why and how it came about.

Aldi Horsemeat Jokes

  1. Those Aldi horse burgers were nice, but I prefer My Lidl Pony

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly ....

I used this popular nursery ryme to make my own horse meat jokes that you can buy at my LesTroisChenes Zazzle store.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly,

I don't know why she swallowed a fly,

I think she'll die.

Find the lyrics of this traditional song There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly

Findus Horsemeat Jokes

  1. Findus some horse meat? (Tesco have run out)...
  2. Put my Findus Lasagne into microwave. I took it out after 3 minutes & it still wasn't finished. I said, "I've backed you before haven't I?"
  3. Findus fish fingers test positive for 60% seahorse.

IKEA Horsemeat Jokes

  1. Horse in Ikea meatballs? They will be finding wood in the furniture next
  2. So there is horse in Ikea meatballs. The burning question remains... what the hell is in that loganberry sauce?
  3. I bet the Swedish Horse Mafia are behind this.
  4. Ikea meatballs - now known as the norse horse course.
  5. Horsemeat discovered in Ikea meatballs. If you buy enough of them, you can self-assemble a horse
  6. Is Ikea going to issue a statement about horseballs or do we have to assemble it ourselves?
  7. Should have seen this Ikea news coming when, after ordering, I had to make my own meatballs out of a dead horse
  8. Footage is released from hidden cameras in Ikea's Corporate Kitchen:
  9. You should have known something was up at Ikea when they released the BRBARO kitchen table

Shergar Jokes

  1. What's the fuss? For years we've been told that Ready Meals contain too much Salt and Shergar
  2. Coca-Cola are pleased to announce that no horse DNA has ever been found in any of its products. Especially Shergar-Free Diet Coke.

My Pick of the Horse Meat Jokes

"Ikea meatballs - now known as the norse horse course."

Laughing Horse Gifts

The jokes on you!

This was one of four beautiful horses that came to stay at Les Trois Chenes last summer. We have a flower meadow so can accommodate riders in our B&B and horses in our field.

Has This Raised A Smile? - Or is this no laughing matter?

Is the horse meat scandal too serious to joke about?

See results

Links to My Sources - Where I found my horse meat jokes

Many of these jokes started on Twitter!

© 2013 Barbara Walton


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