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Horse Meat Jokes

Updated on May 23, 2015

Best Horse Meat Jokes and Beef Burger Jokes

These are the best horse meat jokes from the 2013 horse meat scandal - these jokes just go to prove that the whole food and meat industry is no laughing matter!

The scandal came to light early in the year the news that horse DNA had been found in Tesco 'beef' burgers. The story quickly escalated and soon the headlines were shrieking that some processed meat products labelled 'beef' were up to 100% horse. Ministers came on the TV to tell us that the burgers were safe to eat (remember the little girl being fed beef burgers by John Gummer during the Mad Cow scandal?) but it soon transpired that the meat industry was in a global mess that reached as far away as Mexico and Romania.

Fit to eat? They didn't even know where the meat was coming from. Forged passports, 'bute' a drug given to race horses and illegal horse trafficking were all uncovered.

Furthermore issues of animal care, transportation, poaching of wild horses and a host of other animal welfare issues are raised. I see the dark humor as a way of flagging up the unacceptability of the modern processed food industry practices.

Who was to blame? The big retailers, Tesco, Findus, Birds Eye, Iceland and Ikea - to name but a few, or was it the suppliers, the abattoirs, the local authorities of the recession?

As always, though, there is a silver lining, and the human race is always quick to rise above adversity. One horse meat scandal spin-off are the large number of horse meat joke and beefburger jokes that abound on the internet. Here are just a few of the tastiest horse meat jokes and the best burger jokes for your delectation and to regale you while you flick through your vegetarian and vegan cookbooks to find something safe to eat!

Bon apetite - enjoy!

Find my Zazzle shop, lestroischenes here http://www.zazzle.com/lestroischenes+gifts
Find my Zazzle shop, lestroischenes here http://www.zazzle.com/lestroischenes+gifts | Source

All designs come in a whole load of gifts, from bags to buttons, doggie jackets to dart boards!

Horse Meat Jokes - I laughed until I was a little hoarse!

don't forget to look on Google Images. Search for horse meat jokes and you'll find a whole host of fabulous visual jokes.

Some of my favourite horsemeat and beefburger jokes

  1. Horsemeat - it's an unbridled disaster
  2. Keep calm and avoid Lasagne
  3. People who don't like horsemeat are blinkered.
  4. Bought a Lasagne online and wondered why it said "add to cart"?
  5. I got fired from the meat factory because I got an e-mail about a delivery of horse meat and I marked it as spam.
  6. Dunno why people are complaining about this horsemeat story.
  7. A horse is basically just a really fit cow.
  8. Really wish everyone would rein in the horse meat puns!

Beef burgers are a night mare!

Horse Meat - It's No Joke - But you can get canned Unicorn on Amazon

"Tesco's veggie burgers - made with 100% uniQuorn"

Best Beef Burger Jokes - Horsemeat in beef burgers

  1. Horse burgers: I canter believe it. Whinny they going to withdraw the product? I bridle at the very thought.
  2. Best burgers recipe. Mince meat, garlic powder, paprika, fresh herbs, an egg and fine diced stallions. I mean.... Scallions.
  3. HSE confirm that all who ate #horseburgers are in a stable condition
  4. In ten years time you’ll be praying for some horsemeat in your cockroach burgers
  5. I hope Tesco were selling those burgers at hoof price

Tesco Horse Meat Jokes - Horse meat in Tesco burger jokes

  1. Has anyone tested Tesco's veggie burgers for uniquorn yet? (sorry)
  2. "Sir, we've discovered horse meat in your burgers." Tesco boss: "Why the long face?"
  3. "Two Tesco burgers please.. hold the dressage"
  4. 29% of the meat content in Tesco's hamburgers turns out to be horse?! No wonder they gave me the trots!
  5. It was only discovered that some Tescos meat contains traces of horse when several customers got the trots.
  6. A Tesco burger walks into a bar. "Pint please". "I can't hear you" says the barman. "Sorry" replies the burger. "I'm a little bit horse".
  7. "Horses for Courses", the name of Tesco's new in-house restaurant chain
  8. Despite the recent news, Tesco's say that their beef burger sales remain stable.
  9. Shocking news. Tesco own brand value hamburgers have been found to have traces of real MEAT in them.

Why British people don't eat horse

No Horse Meat Please, We're British!: Does the food industry really care?
No Horse Meat Please, We're British!: Does the food industry really care?

No end to the lengths the food industry will go to to make profit? This book examines the horse meat scandal and asks why and how it came about.

 

Aldi Horsemeat Jokes

  1. Those Aldi horse burgers were nice, but I prefer My Lidl Pony

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly ....

I used this popular nursery ryme to make my own horse meat jokes that you can buy at my LesTroisChenes Zazzle store.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly,

I don't know why she swallowed a fly,

I think she'll die.

Find the lyrics of this traditional song There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly

Findus Horsemeat Jokes

  1. Findus some horse meat? (Tesco have run out)...
  2. Put my Findus Lasagne into microwave. I took it out after 3 minutes & it still wasn't finished. I said, "I've backed you before haven't I?"
  3. Findus fish fingers test positive for 60% seahorse.

IKEA Horsemeat Jokes

  1. Horse in Ikea meatballs? They will be finding wood in the furniture next
  2. So there is horse in Ikea meatballs. The burning question remains... what the hell is in that loganberry sauce?
  3. I bet the Swedish Horse Mafia are behind this.
  4. Ikea meatballs - now known as the norse horse course.
  5. Horsemeat discovered in Ikea meatballs. If you buy enough of them, you can self-assemble a horse
  6. Is Ikea going to issue a statement about horseballs or do we have to assemble it ourselves?
  7. Should have seen this Ikea news coming when, after ordering, I had to make my own meatballs out of a dead horse
  8. Footage is released from hidden cameras in Ikea's Corporate Kitchen:
  9. You should have known something was up at Ikea when they released the BRBARO kitchen table

Shergar Jokes

  1. What's the fuss? For years we've been told that Ready Meals contain too much Salt and Shergar
  2. Coca-Cola are pleased to announce that no horse DNA has ever been found in any of its products. Especially Shergar-Free Diet Coke.

My Pick of the Horse Meat Jokes

"Ikea meatballs - now known as the norse horse course."

Laughing Horse Gifts

The jokes on you!

This was one of four beautiful horses that came to stay at Les Trois Chenes last summer. We have a flower meadow so can accommodate riders in our B&B and horses in our field.

Has This Raised A Smile? - Or is this no laughing matter?

Is the horse meat scandal too serious to joke about?

See results

Links to My Sources - Where I found my horse meat jokes

Many of these jokes started on Twitter!

© 2013 Barbara Walton

Did This Make You Whinney With Laughter? - Or did it leave you with a long face?

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    • paperfacets profile image

      Sherry Venegas 4 years ago from La Verne, CA

      Being in the U.S. I wondered what Europeans were saying about the meat scandal. It's good for the t-shirt business and it could go all the way to the horse blanket.

    • JohnTannahill profile image

      John Tannahill 4 years ago from Somewhere in England

      These jokes are terrible - really bad - thanks for the laugh.

      "Horsemeat discovered in Ikea meatballs. If you buy enough of them, you can self-assemble a horse." But there's always one little part missing, isn't there?

    • Jogalog profile image

      Jogalog 4 years ago

      Very funny and very topical. A great idea for a lens.

    • BLouw profile image
      Author

      Barbara Walton 4 years ago from France

      @Nancy Hardin: Hi Nancy. Thanks for your comment. I can quite see that you might be upset by the jokes - and vegetarians, vegans, animal rights people, and - people like me who eat meat. If you follow the lead at the front of the article, it will take you to my 'serious' lens documenting the whole scandal. I'm very upset about all the transportation of animals and meat from all over the world, the additives and chemicals they put into the live animals, the techniques they use to remove all sorts of 'bits' which they can then class and sell as meat legally. This includes FEATHERS! There seems to be an illegal trafficking of meat with falsified papers - anything could be entering the food chain, diseased meat, meat from maltreated animals etc. There is the religious side for Hindus and Muslims who are eating beef and pork unknowingly. Finally, there go the politicians again, feeding kids on these 'beef' burgers and telling us that it's all safe when they have no idea where it's all come from.

      In this context I see the jokes as ironic 'gallows humor' that takes these big food manufacturers to task. I'm afraid that while I laugh at the jokes - and one or two made me laugh out loud, I take the whole food thing extremely seriously and think we need to A. treat animals properly if we are going to eat them at all and B. Sort out this whole food business - in every sense of the word. I'm with you! PS I've added a reference to the wild horse problem. That didn't seem to have been covered in UK News.

    • Gypzeerose profile image

      Rose Jones 4 years ago

      Very cute. Just today I heard that Ikea had horsemeat in the "Swedish meatballs." Pinned to my humor board and blessed.

    • Nancy Hardin profile image

      Nancy Carol Brown Hardin 4 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Sorry, this is not funny to those of us who know what's happening to our wild horses, how they are gathered inhumanely, and sold for slaughter. I can't laugh at something I consider absolutely sad. I had to let you know, many Americans are quite angry at the deliberate decimation of our wild horses.