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Indian Men Lead in Sexual Violence -- Should Indians Be Ashamed?

Updated on April 30, 2014

A New Low for Indian Men

A recent International Men and Gender Equality survey has shown that Indian men lead when it comes to gender equality and sexual violence. A new low for Indian men?

According to the survey, one in four Indian men seems to have committed sexual violence. Another startling fact is that one in five Indian men have supposedly forced their wife or partner to have sex with them. Compared to the 2% in Brazil and less than 9% in Croatia, Mexico, Rwanda and Chile, the statistics regarding Indian men is not providing a good image about Indians worldwide.

Who Should Be Blamed?

Indian men are given extreme importance in our society the moment they are born. Is this to blame? Indian women have gone ahead and are now voicing their thoughts and views freely -- but can the Indian man who has not yet moved away from the comfort zone be able to accept her views? The survey results are the answer for you.

I personally know of an Indian woman who has been subjected to verbal and mental abuse by her husband. Mind you, they are both educated. But the guy can't take it when the wife objects to his thoughts or views -- and the result? Domestic violence. The guy's family knows of this and doesn't object. Why? Because they feel it's the woman's duty to always listen to his husband -- no matter what -- and if she doesn't, the husband has full rights to hit/slap/shove/push his wife or treat her in any way he wants. The girl also has learnt from her family that "girls should adjust to a situation no matter what" -- so she doesn't walk out of the situation and continue to bear the brunt of his anger. Sad, but true.

Things like the dowry system still exists in India, and it's sad to see that some educated Indian men even support this! It goes without saying that this very ugly system is also responsible for many cases of domestic violence in India.

The Times of India Debate

I thought sexual and domestic violence existed only in rural parts of India. But one look at the Times of India forum will tell you otherwise. I was shocked to see how modern, educated Indian guys thought about the whole domestic violence issue. When such Indian guys exist in our society, how can domestic violence be eradicated completely? Something to think about...

In the TOI discussion, every Indian girl who commented about being ill-treated by her husband got thrashed by men out there who went to further accuse these girls of running after guys with money. I hope these views are not shared by majority of Indian men out there....

It was a really sad debate to see. You can check out the discussion yourself for proof. This won't give out a good impression of Indian men in general, but from the views you will see that such Indian men are majorly responsible for domestic violence in India.

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    • profile image

      Pronks 

      5 years ago

      My father happens to be one of these abusive monsters, I'm 15, and when I was around the ages of 4,5,6 in India, I witnessed him coming home from parties, from other girl's cars, drunk most of the time, smoking, beating, humiliating and raping my mother, other times my mother would be sitting in the corner crying, once I saw her wearing nothing but a chunri silent in the corner, as a result of anger and abuse my mother would beat me and my father would say my mothers evil, another time he have my 4 year old brother a glass of alcohol and he passed out. I was 7 when I found out we were going to move to America, and all I remember thinking was, maybe in America the drinking, smoking, drunken beating, raping, and causing a scene will end. The smoking and heavy drinking stopped but the shameless abusive behaviour, mental, physical, and emotional abuse is still there. Today, this has prevented me from having a real life, I have already decided to suicide this summer as I have no other family, lower than f grades, and no friends.

    • Davidrighthand profile image

      David Harden 

      6 years ago from USA

      This hub saddens me very much my hats off to the ladies. No man should ever hit a woman. Remember men she was made from one of our ribs shame on you guys that goes for all nationnallities.

      Great hub Divacratus...

    • Anamika S profile image

      Anamika S Jain 

      6 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

      Of course, Indian Men to be ashamed. More than that Indian women should be ashamed for letting the men threat them that way and not raising their voice against violence. In many houses when a son beats up his wife, his mother and sister are silent spectators. And many of them even encourage the guy to torture the woman. Many woman keep a blind eye on violence as long as they are not affected. What they do not realize is that, it can happen to them too... So wake up! Let's raise our voice against domestic abuse and violence and teach the men who indulge in it a lesson that they will never forget.

    • Yaduvanshi profile image

      Yaduvanshi 

      6 years ago from Bharat Vrse

      The status of women has been very high in ancient Bharat verse it is a well known fact. It got diluted in view of the influence of external aggregations and influences

      Still there are hard facts and realities of lie and we must except and face them with resolve

    • divacratus profile imageAUTHOR

      Kalpana Iyer 

      7 years ago from India

      Casgil - Exactly what I have to say. Using physical violence to make your partner understand things is just not done! Be it in India or anywhere else -- I'm strictly against this and I hope each and every women take strict action against it instead of just suffering everything in silence. Silence just makes the situation worse.

      mslizzee - Yeah it is. It is a very sensitive topic. Thanks for reading and commenting...

    • Cagsil profile image

      Cagsil 

      7 years ago from USA or America

      A very disturbing hub about domestic violence and it simply shows how men refuse to change to times. I've never understood man's position, as to where violence solves anything with regards to their relationship with a woman. Everyone has a right to voice their opinions or thoughts, and should be allowed to do so. To force a woman to keep quiet or beat her because she refuses to bend to the man's authority is ridiculous and borderlines on complete ignorance. I'm not completely familiar with your customs/culture, but rights are rights. Thank you for writing a hub to bring awareness to others. :)

    • mslizzee profile image

      elizabeth 

      7 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

      This is rather frightening to know. Thank you for your hub.

    • divacratus profile imageAUTHOR

      Kalpana Iyer 

      7 years ago from India

      @Twilight Lawns - Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I will try to get my hands on that book. Sounds really interesting.

    • Twilight Lawns profile image

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      In this country also, there is a good deal of domestic violence, but not, as one would have thought from working class and underclass families, as one might have assumed, but within middle class homes. The women there are not reporting it because it would "look bad" if others of that class knew that the husband was a thug.

      If you ever get the chance, there is an amazingly fascinating and easy to read book by an Australian author Hanifa Deen, she is an Australian of Punjabi and Kashmiri origins and writes of domestic violence in the Subcontinent. She writes with style and I feel it is a book very worth reading. The Book is entitled 'Broken Bangles. It is available in paperback and concentrates on Bangladesh and Pakistan, but I am sure you would see many parallels.

    • divacratus profile imageAUTHOR

      Kalpana Iyer 

      7 years ago from India

      @Brenda - Thanks for reading!

      @Hmrjmr1 - It is a very personal issue which I have chosen to speak about in public. Rest assured, many Indian men out there won't like it. But it's the hard core truth -- whether you like it or not. Domestic violence happens just about in every country, but my heart just sank rock bottom when I heard the results of this survey. Thanks for taking the time out to read and comment...

      @Dahoglund - Hopefully things will change for the better :) Divorce rates are increasing and maybe this very independence might be blamed for it?

    • profile image

      Brenda Durham 

      7 years ago

      Thanks for the hub. I didn't know these facts.

    • Hmrjmr1 profile image

      Hmrjmr1 

      7 years ago from Georgia, USA

      I generally don't comment on other cultures, since as an American I live in a metaphorically Glass House. But it seems a shame that the land of Ghandi has these issues. Good luck on change, and God Bless you for speaking out.

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 

      7 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      I don't know much about your customs but in the United States I think a certain amount of this was more tolerated in past generations.In popular culture the image of strong independent women has been more popular in popular culture.

      So it may be a matter of time until cultural attitudes change.

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