What Is a Socialite?

In the 17th century, British aristocrats gave birth to the socialite trade. Members of the club came from the ruling class and centred on gatherings, also known as days-long parties, at large country houses and in London.

The upper class in the United States took up the socialite activity towards the end of the 19th century. Let's take a satirical look at these mavens of high society.

Socialites don't work the checkout at a supermarket. Socialites do not live in Iowa or Alabama. Socialites only vote Republican. Socialites are mostly Caucasian. Socialites are physically attractive, whether created by nature or surgeon's scalpels. Socialites are drawn irresistibly to red carpets and camera lenses.

Kiki Astor is an author with a family name that would give instant acceptance into the ranks of socialites. She has given would-be socialites a few tips on how to become one.

“To be a good socialite, you need some attention from the press. How you get it is your business. Perhaps daddy owns a newspaper or there’s a whiff of scandal about you. It’s best if you’re the sort of person that people want to paint and imitate your outfits.”

She adds that “As a socialite, you need influential friends, but you also should have a feud with at least one of them. After all, who doesn’t like you is almost as important as who does.

“It’s good to marry and divorce the right kind of people.” The right kind of people, of course, means those who have enormous gobs of money.

In the Gilded Age (late 1870s to late 1890s), when socialites first appeared in America, breeding was the determining factor for acceptance into the club. Today, it's all about how much money you have and there's little scrutiny about how you came by it.

There's an outfit called Workbound that says its mission is “to help everyone find their dream job.” It offers a helpful video that advises wannabe socialites on how to become one.

“Personal branding,” we are told, “means showcasing your passions, engagements, and activities that align with the socialite sphere. Engaging in charitable activities, or becoming a patron of the arts can elevate your status within the community. It shows you are not only about attending glamourous events but also contributing to societal good.”

How noble.

The dedicated socialite attends events, many of them. There are gallery openings where expensive, but worthless, art is on display. It's a chance to nibble the tiniest morsels of canapes, sip champagne judiciously, and gossip.

Fashion shows are of vital importance to the life of a socialite. Here, they can watch anorexic models prance about in ridiculously awful clothes that no one in their right mind would wear. However, their importance is that it's a place to be seen and to gossip.

The truly dedicated socialite networks. There are important lunches to be had with other socialites where a lightly steamed cauliflower floret ($19.95) constitutes the meal. This is where essential gossip can be engaged in:

“Darling. Have you heard about Caroline's new boyfriend. I'm told he's enormously well endowed, you know, down there.”

Socialites do charity work, although perhaps “work” is the wrong word. They don't actually dish out food at soup kitchens nor do they clean bed pans in hospitals.

What they do is write checks that absolve them of the requirement to perform social duties. The need for many of these charities would be absent if the husband's of socialites shared some of their vast incomes with their employees.

The true socialite does not work for her money in the traditional sense, she gets it from her billionaire husband. The socialite toils endlessly at being beautiful. It's not easy.

Personal maintenance is an almost full-time occupation. There needs to be a coterie of attendants to primp and preen the socialite. It's necessary to retain the interest of the money spigot. There are some small-minded and jealous people who might attach a crude name to such activities.

There has to be a hair stylist (not a hair dresser) and a personal trainer (not a gym instructor). Teeth need constant attention to ensure they are perfect.

Then, there's the wardrobe. Oh my dear, the wardrobe. Nothing off the shelf of course. Imagine the agony of embarrassment of turning up to the opera to find someone else wearing the same frock. There would be no invitations to bridge nights for months. And, that $20,000 ball gown is really only good for one gala event.

Surgical interventions against the ravages of time are expensive and increasingly frequent. Remaining physically 20 over several decades is extremely hard work.

A few years ago, New York Times reporter Ruth La Ferla put a price tag on keeping up with a socialite. She created a fictional socialite of established status and an age one does not ask about.

Her invented Bea Grande “spends $455,450 each year prepping herself for charity events: $3,000 for a personal stylist, $120,000 for a publicist, $100,000 for wardrobe, and $200,000 for the tickets.”

Publicist? Yes, you read that correctly. Without a publicist how will the media know that Anastasia Vanderfeller will be going for a manicure after her tennis lesson?

On top of this came the personal trainer ($18,000 a year), $7,500 for in-home hair care, and glycolic skin peels and Botox treatments, a bargain at $5,700 annually.

It seems the best, and perhaps, only, way to become a socialite is to choose extremely wealthy parents.

• According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a newspaper in Tennessee cooked up the word “socialite” in 1909 and Time magazine made it popular in the 1920s.
• The website famousfix.com has taken on the onerous task of listing, in order, America's most prominent socialites. Eight out of the top 20 are Kardashians, who are, apparently, famous for something. The same website lists sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell in 100th place.
• There is a tiny number of male socialites with their side gigs listed as “media personality.” There are no welders or truck drivers on such lists.

• “What Is a socialite? And How Do you Become One?” Kiki Astor, kikiastor.com, June 25, 2024.
• “It Can Cost Nearly Half a Million Dollars a Year to Be a New York Socialite.” Megan Willett-Wei, Business Insider, June 26, 2013.
• “What Is a Socialite?” Jessica Ellis, publicpeople.org, May 23, 2024.
• “How to Become a Socialite.” Workbound, undated.
• “American Socialites.” famousfix.com, undated.