- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
If Ever You Need A Helping Hand...
Learn To Say 'No'
... There's One at the End of Your Arm.
If the more you do for your family or others, the less appreciated you feel. It’s maybe because everyone is expecting too much from you on a regular basis or you're already so efficient that they take it for granted and assume you can easily cope with their ever increasing demands.
How many things can you think of that you do in the course of a normal day which are specifically for your own benefit? If you’re the head of a busy household you’ll probably be quite alarmed at how much of your time and energy is given over to the welfare of others.
Getting some quality time to yourself and saying no occasionally is the key to coping, otherwise you could suffer from emotional burnout if no attention is given to your own needs as an individual.
Communicate with your family members and tell them that you can’t be in two places at once and you can’t be expected to remember to buy every single item they require when you go to the shops and that you're a parent - not a superhero.
In the workplace you may be stressed out by the demands of others only to be bombarded with more demands when you arrive home. Modern life is demanding day in, day out and with so many lines of communication nowadays your family and others can make more demands on your time wherever you happen to be. If you're constantly available via mobile phones, landlines and emails the demands won’t stop coming and you’ll be left feeling drained of energy and in dire need of some quality time on your own.
If people are constantly complaining about something you’ve done and you know they’re just moaning for the sake of it, a simple statement such as "Well, if you’re not happy with the way I’ve done that, feel free to do it yourself next time" can often work wonders. Delegate tasks to others so that you’re not under so much pressure and teach family members and colleagues to do things for themselves if you know they’re quite capable of carrying out certain tasks that any able bodied person would be deemed capable of. Delegating less important tasks to other family members will help them become more independent and allow you the time to focus on more pressing concerns.
If you’re more competent at certain duties than other people around you, don’t allow them to take advantage of that fact by doing very little for themselves. Instead, you can teach them to be more useful both in the home and in the workplace rather than they rely on you for everything. Life will soon become less hectic for you when the daily demands on you are reduced.
If ever you need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.— Audrey Hepburn
Saying no to the demands of family or others isn’t a crime, especially when they can do things for themselves. You can mention Audrey Hepburn's famous quotation which just about sums it up:
"If ever you need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm."
© 2015 Stella Kaye