He Cheated On You! Now What?
An Open Wound
Getting cheated is like getting hit by a Mack Truck traveling 65 miles an hour coming out of nowhere. You never saw it coming and it crushes the hell out of you. You can never know how bad it hurts unless you have gotten cheated on yourself.
You love a person and everything as you know it is perfect in every way. All of a sudden you find out that the person, that you love so much and trust so much, has betrayed you by sleeping with another. OH THE HUMANITY!
You instantly feel a knife in your heart and a second one being driven deep into your back. The betrayal alone can leave you feeling sad and disgusted. You feel that your life is over, because you never saw yourself being hurt by him. Maybe someone else, but not him. "How could he do this to me?" You will ask this question over and over and over again. You will never get an answer, but it won't keep you from asking it. This will feel like an out of body experience, because of the sheer magnitude of the anger that is going through your brain, it may feel that violence is the only cure for your growing heartache. You want him to hurt just as bad he hurt you. But violence is not the way to go. You'll end up in jail with a broken heart and no bail money.
It takes a while to get over being cheated on, but you can't waddled in your sorrows forever. You have to grow some thicker skin, put on a tougher heart shield and get back out there. Chalk it up to a life experience. A really mean, low down and dirty life experience, but if you come out of it clean you have graduate with the scars to show it. You now know what to look out for and hopefully you will then know who to really let have your heart.
Signs That He's Cheating On You
Here are some tell-tell signs that your man might just be stepping out on you.
- He lies about where he's going and is never where he is supposed to be.
- He never answers his phone and when he's around you, he puts the ringer on vibrate. He never leaves his phone unattended around you.
- He's always on the go, but can never tell you where he's been.
- If he hops in the shower as soon as he gets home. He's washing off more the an sweat from a pickup game with friends.
- He is always on the defensive end when you ask him where he's been.
- He says that he is going to hang out with the guys, but when he leaves the house he is dressed to impressed. Now who is he looking and smelling good for?
Know Your Self Worth
He didn't cheat on you because you were less than a woman. He cheated because that's what some men do. Some men just can't remain monogamous no matter whom their with. You can ask the most beautiful woman in the world of she's ever been cheated on. I bet you she has. Your level of beauty is not what caused him to stray. His lack of control was the main contributing cause to his infidelity. He may tell you all the things that he felt was wrong with your relationship, but in reality he knows the truth. He's just trying to get away with being a dog. He cheated because he has issues not you.
How To Move On
Most will say, the best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one. This can be a temporary fix, but the underlying hurt that you have can be transferred to another relationship. This can damage your new relationship before it's even had a chance. The reasons are because, you're not able to trust anybody right after being cheated on. Therefore your new relationships will be filled with arguments and stress.
You have to be able to trust again. Trust is not something you should give away like candy. Trust has to be earned. You give little with each day, never all at once. By sharing your trust little by little, it won't hurt so bad when someone breaks it, because you didn't trust them that much anyway. I personally trust no one but God and even he gets the seldom the side eye.
The best way to get over getting cheated on is to ultimately take your time and to get to know yourself before dating again. You have to be able to love yourself first, because a failed relationship can take away a lot of your self esteem. It can make you lose your self worth and put you into a deep depression. That's a lot of baggage to bring into a new relationship. You can't move on if you're always worried about when the new guy is going to cheat on you too. Get yourself together and allow a new relationship to grow into something beautiful.
