- Gender and Relationships
10 Dating Tips for Christian Men
Christian women are looking for many of same traits in a man as any other lady. The major difference is of course values. She will hold modesty, dedication to the church and prudence in high esteem. Still, holding these virtues alone will not win her over.
There are elements of attraction that she herself may not understand. Underneath it all, a Christian woman is seeking an interesting guy that she enjoys being around. Since being modest and judicious can sometimes come off as dull, a Christian man has a unique challenge. Somewhere in-between there is a balance that will in no way compromise your identity and loyalty to God.
This list of tips is focused towards men just starting to get to know a woman. They really come in handy for the first few dates as this is indeed a critical time. It is very important to make the right impressions in the beginning, as she will assume you act this way all the time (even if you are having a bad day).
Would you consider dating a Non-Christian?
Get in touch with her needs
As a single person, it is easy to get to wrapped up in meeting your own needs. If you plan to find a mate, you will have to set aside many of the hobbies or activities you love to care for your wife and family. It is important to show your date that you are willing to put her needs first. Early on, you need to display this in small ways, like opening the door for her or walking extra slow to the car because her shoes are really uncomfortable. Any healthy relationship is give and take so in time a potential mate will reciprocate. As a man, it is up to you to take the lead.
Ask open-ended questions
Before you can connect with a woman, you have to understand what makes her tick. Really this is more about having a genuine interest as asking questions will come naturally if you are curious. Once you get a feel for the subjects she is interested in, you will probably find you have many things in common. This will give you fuel to carry on a conversation that both parties will find stimulating.
Show through actions that you appreciate her interests, opinions, career, body and mind. This does not mean you can’t disagree with her. You should feel free to have a different outlook. The key is to acknowledge that your answers are not the only correct ones. Follow Christ’s golden rule: treat her as you would want to be treated.
By nature women tend to be more in tune with their feelings than men. This is in no way a problem, it merely is. In order to connect with her you may have to put some extra effort into expressing how you feel effectively. If you loved the pasta she made, or noticed that she washed the dishes when you ran out to go to the corner store, be sure to tell her you appreciate it.
Make her laugh
Unquestionably you are shooting to take that special woman on the perfect date. Still, a few things are bound to go wrong. You may get stuck in front of a train for twenty minutes on the way to the movies, or mispronounce the name of a girlfriend she keeps gabbing about. If you are able to laugh and turn negative events around she will no doubt appreciate it. Don’t let minor setbacks anger you.
Don’t act too meek and needy
Neediness is a huge turn off for both men and women. Show your date that you love to get the most out of life and that you are independent. If she feels like you lead the type of life she wants to be a part of, she will join you along the way.
Don’t always be easily impressed by what she tells you and playfully tease her from time to time. If you just sit there nodding your head as she talks, you will not only bore her but also make her believe you aren’t really listening. Creating a little bit of friction is a huge part of attraction. The confident she seems, the more you can get away with.
Don’t bring up the Ex
Failed relationships of the past are irrelevant and will only make the situation awkward. Even if she brings up her ex somewhere in the conversation and gives such talk the green flag, resist the temptation to talk about yours. Hear her out then smoothly move the subject of the conversation elsewhere.
Express your faith
Passionately talk about your engagement with the church but make sure to do it in the way of interesting antidotes. For example, if you were involved in a recent fundraiser and ending up having way more fun than you expected, tell her about it. This is far better than rambling on about your faith for the lord in a boring, generic way.
Don’t compromise your beliefs
If you find yourself going against your principals to impress a woman, take a step back. You will end up regretting it once the date ends or the relationship is over. You cannot always be the voice of reason and keep her line, even if you believe you can be. Make sure your potential mate takes the words of the Lord as serious as you do.
Sometimes it’s easy to get anxious or so wrapped up in your own world that you forget the basics. Stay focused yet don’t come off as try-hard. Any woman worth dating will understand that you aren’t perfect. Emphasize the good points and most importantly, have fun!