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10 Reasons People Fall Out Of Love by Alexander Thandi Ubani.

Updated on May 12, 2015
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Alexander Thandi Ubani is a graduate of Theatre Arts. He is a Poet, Creative/Content/Script writer, blogger and a Social media expert.

10 Reasons People Fall Out Of Love by Alexander Thandi Ubani.

The talk of love is never an easy thing. When love is true, it lasts for life. Such love is very rare. However, if you are in love and wish to maintain it, it is pertinent that you look at these points to know what might go wrong in your relationship.

10 Reasons People Fall out Of Love by Alexander Thandi Ubani.

Lust: Are you in love or in lust? When someone is in lust and not in love, he/she will eventually force his/her way out of the relationship when they get what they want. Lust lasts for a while; it is like the dew. It is here in the morning and disappears before noon. People fall out of love because they never were in love in the first place. It was lust that lead them all through. When they get what they want, they come to the realization that it wasn't really worth it after all. Lust is one of the most known reasons why people fall out of love. Was it even love in the first place? No!

Health problems: This is another important reason why people fall out of love. When one of the partners is facing a health disability which wasn't there at the inception of the relationship, can lead some to become detached from their partners and act indifferent when their sexual needs are not satisfied. Such health problems which could stop one partner from fulfilling some of the vital relationship needs can be a reason why many fall out of love. Some go to the extent of finding someone outside the relationship or marriage who is fit enough to fit in. When a health problem limits the ability of a partner to perform, it becomes a burden on the relationship. Only persons who have a peculiar understanding of life, will hang around even when the journey gets tough.

Incompatibility: When people do not share same ideas, lifestyles and values, it tends to bring problems. They fight at every topic, curse, bicker and abuse each other at almost everything at sight. When couples do not share same thing in common, it brings a bridge and might become an excuse to fall out of love. If people are not compatible, it brings problems if not well handled. Some go on to pursue lifestyles very different or opposite to the kind of life their partners live. This in turn breeds disharmony, friction, loneliness and deprivation thus leading some to do things that they may not have thought of if the situation was right.

Relationship built on wrong foundation: When a relationship is concocted for the wrong reasons, people always fall out after a short time. For example, when someone is in it for financial gains or for the sex. S/he will later find out that such wealth doesn't exist or that the sex isn't as great as s/he envisioned it, the person will certainly have reservations and fall out of love.

Betrayal: When a partner has been maligned or betrayed and emotions trampled on the floor, he or she is bound to fall out of love. If not sooner, then later. Betrayal of love is one of the major reasons people fall out of love. The thought to get even can fuel one's feelings to do the unthinkable.

When boundaries are not defined: When a relationship is not defined as to what is expected and limits not set as to where it will lead, many people consider it as opportunity to still explore. Some still use that as an opportunity or excuse to still play around. Defining a relationship and making reachable targets will go a long way in strengthening it. But when that is not defined, people fall out of love easily when one partner must have knowingly or unknowingly engaged in a conduct not suitable for a serious relationship.

No communication: Communications is a very important aspect of any relationship. The absence of it brings a bridge. When people don't communicate consistently in a relationship, when there is absence of closeness, great rapport and freedom to express oneself without being shouted down at, the love tends to die a natural death. When two people in a relationship do not have an open channel of communication, it becomes a big problem and an opportunity to follow another course which might not be acceptably in the eyes of his/her partner. Effective communication is important for any relationship to thrive.

Distance: Long-distance can affect a relationship when mechanisms are not put in place to meet, interact and share in each other's feeling. Distance can be a barrier and make people fall out of love when they cannot see the ones they love. Nowadays, the internet and social media is the cheapest means of constant and easy communication channel serious couples who are distant from each other can explore. It can help save a relationship.

Conflict: Fight, quarrels, insults and violence can make someone run away from a difficult relationship or even fall out of love. When someone is constantly harassed, beaten, verbally abused, manhandled and disrespected, such an individual will find ways to leave and thus that will open the door for falling out of love. Conflict is not good for any relationship. Avoid it like a plague.

Dishonesty and grudges: No one wants to be with someone dishonest. A dishonest person is a minus to anyone and will surely bring disaster in any relationship. Dishonest people who engage in illicit affairs and thus bring problems, diseases and disaster to themselves and their innocent partners do not add anything to a relationship. AVOID SUCH PEOPLE AND DON'T WORK YOURSELF OUT THINKING THAT YOU CAN CHANGE THEM. When such is found out, it makes the disheartened partner ill which might lead to harbouring grudges that can never be healed by time. At the long run, they end up with fights every now and then. This could lead one to match out of love.

Love is a sweet thing when served with all sincerity. But, the following listed setbacks should guide us for the better.

•Do you think there are other reasons why people fall out of love?
•Can you name a few.



Alexander Thandi Ubani
©®Copyright 2015


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    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 12 months ago from London, UK

      Awesome. Everyone should read this before committing to a long term relationship. Thanks.

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 2 years ago from Lagos

      Thanks, Audrey.

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 2 years ago from Lagos

      Lol. Sucre, oh mine! You lost her cos of that? That shouldn't be much of a big deal na. Yeah, you were wrong to have done that anyway, but such minor issues should have been settled in a more amicable way. You must have learnt your lessons anyway. Thanks for stopping by, brother.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      well said!!

    • profile image

      sigmund sucre 2 years ago

      Truly spoken, and about defining boundaries..., i lost a girlfriend just because i was so addicted to touching her ass every chance i get and she didnt like it,,, i was so blind to that fact because i expected her to like it and not complain.

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 2 years ago from Lagos

      Thanks, Dashingscorpio. You are very right. "People stop doing all the things that won their mate's heart" that's absolutely a good reason. People just relax immediately they marry and forget how things were before they settled down. So, the important thing is: to do all the things you did to win your mates heart and the love will never quench. Thanks a million.

      Thanks, Frank Atanacio. I always appreciate.

      Torrilynn: I couldn't agree more. You are so right. The best thing as usual is to do those things that made you two happy at the inception of your relationship. Getting married should not make one stop doing 'em. Have a great day.

    • torrilynn profile image

      torrilynn 2 years ago

      i feel as if people fall out of love due to forgetting what made them attracted to their mates in the first place. Also, decreasing the things they did or words they spoke when they were trying to be with them due to already getting the chance to be with them. Human beings are so weird.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      I agree with all your points here, but have trouble with health.. good hub my friend :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      People stop doing all the things that won their mate's heart.

      It's almost a cliché to hear someone say:

      "He/she is not the same person I feel in love with."

      If you stop going to work you'd lose your job, stop paying your rent/mortgage you lose your home, stop paying your car note and you'll lose your car.

      However there are lots of folks who believe once a relationship has been "solidified" or there is an "emotional investment" it means they can now RELAX and gradually stop doing all of thing that won their mate's heart while expecting their mate to remain happy and in love!

      The Impressions had a hit song in the 1960s.

      "The Same Thing it Took to Get Your Baby is the Same Thing it's Going to Take to Keep Them." When we change our circumstances change.

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 2 years ago from Lagos

      Thanks, Ruchira.


    • Ruchira profile image

      Ruchira 2 years ago from United States

      You said it ALL.

      Well researched, Ubani.