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10 Signs you are in the WRONG relationship by Alexander Thandi Ubani

Updated on March 26, 2015
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Alexander Thandi Ubani is a graduate of Theatre Arts. He is a Poet, Creative/Content/Script writer, blogger and a Social media expert.


You do not need goggles to see well when you are in a healthy relationship. It is self-reflective and twinkles like a cloud of shiny lights for everyone to see. People will see all the shiny bubbles of joy permeating your happy soul. You will be happy, vivacious and laughter will fill every of your move. But, when you are in a wrong relationship: it will drown your soul; weaken you; give you sleepless nights; and leave you with fights, anger and exhaustion as you look for ways to run away. Suffice it to say that a wrong relationship is like feces, it smells so bad that many will notice it.

10 Signs you are in the WRONG relationship by Alexander Thandi Ubani

Opinionated partner: Opinions matter in any relationship, but when your opinion does not matter to your partner, that’s a big sign you are with the wrong partner. A partner that is opinionated will hardly take the advice of his mate; he/she is too full of himself/herself. This is inspired by a belief of that I−know−it−all syndrome. An opinionated mate will bring you embarrassment when you least expect. If you have a partner that is opinionated, be well assured that sooner or later, if he/she doesn’t change, things will surely go very wrong. There is no magic to it. You have no value in his or her eyes.

Violent and Abusive mate: abuse come in different ways. There is verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical and otherwise. Violent abuse is a trademark of many relationships. The molesting, beating and injuring of a partner for irrelevant issues have resulted in many deaths. Cases of husbands killing wives abound and this is a very big sign when it crops up in any relationship. An abusive mate who gets physical or verbal can talk his/her mate to depression. It is wrong to date any man who sees it fit to abuse you for whatever reason. When a relationship becomes abusive, it is a great sign that you might have followed the wrong track.

Fights and quarrel: You fight every now and then like cat and dog. The fights extend to days without a compromise as you busy yourselves like nothing happened. This is a big sign that you two are not meant to be. Forget the patching here and there and tell yourselves the truth. When you can’t agree as one, what’s essence of wasting time together.

Love lost: a good relationship is supposed to be one of love and joy. But, when it turns around to be of no love, hurt, unhappiness and no more feeling of joy, then when this is not the case, you might be in the wrong relationship. When all you feel in the relationship is sadness, neglect, and no love, you might reconsider your options. A healthy relationship will only bring you sheer joy and even in the hard days, you will still have memories to live on.

Lies: Lies are not allowed in any healthy relationship but will only destroy it. Chronic liars who twist truth for their mundane pleasures bring heartaches to their mates. A relationship built on lies will only result in sorrow for soon you will become his punching bag because you will resent him or, you might want to kill her for deceiving you. If you notice that your partner is full of lies, then you are really with the wrong person because you deserve better.

Reluctance to talk about your partner: When you find it burdensome to tell people about the man or woman in your life, it is a bad sign. When you are in a great relationship, you wouldn’t mind shouting to the world of how sweet your beau or boo is and how wonderful the person makes you feel. You tell of him or her to your friends, family and anything with ears. But when someone hides his/her relationship from family and friends, he/she must be dodging from something which might be sinister.

No chemistry: When you do not feel some kind of excitement and the absence of attraction is another sign. So many people come together for the wrong reasons. There is everything wrong when your partner does not see you worthy for claims.

•Partner control: If you are controlled like a puppy, with your every movement monitored and tracked, that’s a very big sign. When a partner dominates you and tells you even how to pass urine, eat food and walk on the road, that’s a very bad sign of a control freak. Run! Run!! Run!!!

No trust: when your partner does not trust you and doubts every of your word, decisions and movement, that is a very big sign. Every relationship that is not built on trust will surely lead to fights and quarrels.

Incompatibility: This is one of the many reasons most relationships crash. You find out you have nothing in common with your partner. In fact, you are two opposites. What he likes are the things you have. You two hardly agree on something. His mentality, outlook, passion, dreams all run contrary to what she holds dear. You always disagree even in the simplest of matters. The worst of it all is SEXUAL INCOMPATIBILITY. That is the killer sign that one is in a wrong relationship.

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Alexander Thandi Ubani
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    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      What a great article thandi. I can't disagree on any point you raise. Well written hub, full of wisdom. voted up.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      I agree with always.. those ten signs stick out at you like a bad step-child.. voted useful my friend ")

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Thandi, your list of bad relationships is ' right on ' Time is too precious to waste it on someone who is not right for you. Too many times people settle when they should move on. Voted up...