Date Killers: Things You Don't Want to Tell a Man

There are a lot of things you can say to a man that you can't say to a woman. Generally-speaking, men are a little less sensitive and a little more crass. However, there are still many things not to say to a man. In fact, men can be very sensitive about certain subjects. "Football is stupid" may be a thing not to say to a lot of men, for instance. You're aiming for an argument there.

Anyway, here is a solid list of 10 things not to say to a man. While there may be many more things, I've selected several of these thematically so that the reader can extrapolate about other things not to say to a man based on these particular ones.

"That's not a job."

Lots of people, not just men, pick a career because it's something they love, not because of the money or the prestige. To imply that a job with a low wage isn't a job, hurts. Your man will not be happy.

"(your hobby) is stupid."

"Men have hobbies that women don't understand. That's not really the point. The point is that they enjoy them. So, whether it's collecting baseball cards, playing video games, painting models, playing dungeons and dragons, try to be supportive.

"I'd like your mother better if she was dead."

"Unless you know for a frickin' fact that a guy hates his mother and is going to respond positively to this statement, this is something you don't want to say. Even if a guy hates his mom, he's still likely to defend her. If you hate his mother, stay away from her and keep your opinion to yourself.

"I prefer my vibrator."

"And most men prefer their hand, but they're not going to tell you that, so don't tell them that they're boring either.

"Can you even afford this meal?"

Men like to be the breadwinners in a relationship. If you question whether or not they can pay for something, then you're questioning their very existence as a man. And if you're saying this and he's taken you to an expensive restaurant, it's doubly insulting. If you're at a McDonald's, it's still insulting, just in a different way.

"Stand behind me where you'll be safe."

"If you're a woman and your job is as a rodeo clown and you happen to be in a bullpen with your man, then I suppose you're okay here. In any other instance, the man is the strong one and you're the weak one and to imply that your man is a wussy is going to annoy him.

"If only your wallet was as big as your gut."

"Nobody wants to be reminded of their physical limitations, but to combine a comment about a guy's weight along with his income is a double low-blow likely to make him feel like a complete loser with you as the cause.

"I would say it was small, but that would be an insult to microorganisms."

Just don't comment unless he asks. Even then, find something to say relating to something other than size if size is an issue. To come out and directly attack his manhood in this way might lead to him killing himself or answering one of those penis enhancement emails.

"Your tongue tastes like a piece of rotten fish."

You could probably just start with handing him a breath mint or calmly suggesting he chew some gum or something. Going all the way here indicates that something has gone very wrong.

"You drive like an old lady."

Some guys are actually proud that they're safe drivers, but telling a guy he's a safe driver is the way to go. Telling him he drives like an old lady is a very nasty way of saying he's a safe driver, assuming you want that positive connotation. If you're looking to get him to step on the gas because he's slow, then that's another story. Mostly, a man is going to be insulted because often the way a man drives is a symbol for his larger personality.

"Is that it?"

You're getting romantic with a man for the first time and everyone is naked and, well, you don't like what you see. George Castanza from "Seinfeld" was right. There really is such a thing as shrinkage

"My nephew makes more than you."

If you really care about what your date earns, then make sure that's clear. Otherwise, keep it to yourself. Men are very sensitive about how much they make and are well aware that most women prefer to go out with men who make more than they do. So, if you end up going out with a guy who doesn't make very much, try to end the date with class.