10 Tips for Women: Improving Relationships

We see it all over in the media and the fantasies of our own minds: that perfect relationship where nothing ever goes wrong, nobody is ever sad or hurt, and the Princess and her Knight in Shining Armor go riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after. Sadly, reality tells us that this is hardly the case, relationships are like anything, they take real work and effort as well as compromise, honesty, trust and a little bit of tears.

The responsibility for cultivating a real and lasting relationship lies on both parties, typically defined in "male" and "female" roles. These roles have very little to do with gender, most often, and settle more into stereotypes based on societal norms developed over thousands of years. For the sake of the reader, however, I will examine the way a relationship can be improved from the heterosexual stereotypes - and try and inject some of my own personal humor along the way.

Ladies, you've got a difficult task in front of you. How do you fix all the things you vent about to your friends? In some cases, do you really want to? If you know that the partner you have is one you want to keep, then let's look at a few ways to improve on some of the things YOU do, but don't admit to doing.

1. First off, start admitting your part in difficulties. By taking responsibility for the things you make difficult, the fights you start, the little signs you give that you're unhappy about something, you can separate yourself from a purely emotional position and begin to analyze solutions to your problems.
2. Second, express yourself vocally more often. Did something upset you enough that you won't be 'over it' in an hour or so? Talk about it! Sometimes your man does things that he just doesn't realize hurt you. Don't worry, you do the same thing to him!
3. Third, maybe it IS time to wear that outfit that you think is just awful but really gets his eyes twinkling. I don't care if it is two sizes too small, trashy, or makes your least favorite feature pop into the limelight. You're not wearing it for yourself.
4. Fourth, let him do what he wants to do more often! As hard as it may be to believe, you CAN be totally in love with someone and want some alone time or to do something the other doesn't like at all. Variety is the spice of life, but it's no good on your omelettes.
5. Fifth, and this one is a doozy - warn him about your mood swings when you feel them coming on. You want to spend the rest of your life with this guy, right? If you don't then what the heck are you doing with him? (Unless he's in his senior years and filthy stinking rich, then we all know why you're with him. Keep humping sandpaper, Mrs. Digger.)
6. Sixth, just shut up sometimes. No really, don't even say anything. You're witty, you're pretty, he loves you, but if you say what you're thinking but really don't mean then you could start a pattern of meaningless arguments.
7. Seventh, giving him the cold shoulder will not always work, so don't do it to spite him - do it to give yourself the time to chew through your emotions and get to a more reasonable mental condition.
8. Eighth, don't ask questions you don't want the honest answer to - and don't ask loaded questions, he'll just get them wrong and you'll be mad. It won't matter that it's YOUR fault you're mad, you'll project that blame on him and cry about how awful he is to you later.
9. Ninth, please don't rush him. More often than not he's willing to do what you ask of him, but the more you push him, the less he'll want to do it.
10. Tenth, if you want to unload and vent about your day but just want him to hear you out and then move on, tell him that! When you talk about things that upset you, his natural reaction will be to go back to the stone age and club/spear/slingshot your enemies to keep his woman safe. Most men don't understand that you'll need to get things off your chest then move on with life.