- Gender and Relationships»
10 Types of Friends Couples Should Let Go of Before They Get Married
Friends play a major role in our lives, and if you allow the wrong ones in, your marriage may get destroyed. This article will show you which friends to let go of before you get married, so you can have a long prosperous happy marriage.
Before I got married, 29 years ago, my mom and dad had set a pretty good example for me. Therefore, I was looking forward to getting married. My parents had a solid stable marriage that was made in heaven. I remember how my parents would counsel couples right in our home. My father was a pastor and my mother was a woman of great spiritual wisdom. Even as a young girl, I was able to experience, without going through, the challenges many couples face.
I used to try and be a fly on the wall to hear what they were talking about, but I would have to be dismissed so they could have privacy while providing counsel to the couples.
When I got married, my father counseled my husband and me. We were also counseled by another pastor to keep the balance. I remember my dad’s strong stand on allowing the man to be the head of the household. He had set the bar high for my future spouse, and as a result our marriage still stands in tact – although not without challenges – and boy, we’ve had our share.
The things I learned early before I got married are the very things that have held my marriage together. I will share those things in just a moment. Don’t buy the lie that marriages don’t last or that marriage is a dying institution. Marriage in the proper context that God intended is still the backbone of society and a strong force to contend with.
Different Ways of Thinking About Marriage
There are some people who choose not to honor the traditional Biblical way of marriage, and they have that right. There are some couples that marry and dishonor their vows. And there are some people who choose not to get married, but get the privileges of marriage. Marriage is challenged more than ever before in the history of our time, and there are more obstacles that shift away from the true meaning of marriage.
Marriage today is different than 30 years ago when permission from the lady’s father was expected. But now many people have mixed feelings toward a man asking permission from his girlfriend’s father. Many people don’t think it’s necessary to ask a girl’s father for her permission.
One thing that has not changed though, is the need for couples to have a support system from their friends, loved one, community or church they frequent. Research bears out that before a couple marries, they have a better chance of surviving marriage under certain positive supportive circumstances.
It is Possible to Have a Good Marriage
After a couple is married, being around other like-minded couples has a huge impact on their marriage staying in tact. I know many divorced couples that will attest to the fact that they missed the boat the first time they got married.
Divorced individuals have many lessons to teach and share with newlyweds. They are usually happy to point out the pitfalls in a relationship, and give some wise counsel on how to avoid the mistakes they made.
I can think of several of my re-married friends and associates who have wonderful marriages. They are the ones who learned from their mistakes. Yet statistics say that second marriages have a higher risk to fail than the first marriage.
For couples who have never been married, the serious ones, they are fresh and ready to make their marriage last. Have you noticed that fewer young people are getting married or delaying marriage? Poor babies are afraid to death because of the “seeming” odds stacked against them.
Just in case you fall into the category of fear, discouragement or opposed to marriage, I want you to read this article to learn some ways to find and maintain a support system for your marriage. -- And one major way is to Let Go of certain friends from your life
10 Friends to Terminate Before Marriage
People that talk too much have a tendency to tell all. If you have a gossiper in your life, you want to get rid of them because they my “accidentally” tell something personal about you that you have shared with them.
I call this one the Spouse-Stealer because they hang around your mate or intended mate with bad intentions. Spouse-Stealers go overboard in adorning themselves and making themselves appealing to the opposite sex in the wrong way.
3. Addicts (Drugs or Alcohol)
These groups of people are dependent on drugs to get them through the day, or they are always partying. Get rid of these low lifers.
4. Possessive Friends
You may not want to admit this one, but you might have a possessive friend. Their character is manifested through always wanting to be around you and not allowing you space to breath. Do you have any friends like this? Please dump them off at the nearest corner.
5. Leach Friends
The leach is a kind of friend who is always draining you, always taking from you and never returning the favor or contributing. Everyone has hard times every once in a while, but at some point, your friend should be able to give back. The leach will always be knocking at your door asking for a loaf of bread. Drop this type of friend like a hot potatoe.
6. Jealous Girlfriends
Jealous friends do evil things to block your relationship with your spouse or intended. They are subtle and cunning. They are deceptive, in that they come to “help,” but their goal is to separate you from the love of your girlfriend or boyfriend – spouse too. Kick this friend to the curb, because they will destroy your marriage.
7. Time-Waster Friends
The time-waster friends have all the time in the world to talk on the phone, hang out and “shoot the breeze.” They are always available to talk or hang out because they have no commitments. Find the nearest waste management system and put them in it.
8. Unambitious People
Which leads to the unambitious friend. They are wanderers and content where they are. These friends are lazy too. They don’t give back to society – yet always looking for society to do something for them. Put this friend on the road to “no return.”
9. Non-Spiritual Friends
Okay so, you need friends who have some spiritual groundedness. These friends won’t settle down and choose a spiritual resource. We all need some kind of spiritual stability when life hands us lemonade. Let this friend vanish into then air.
10. Disgruntled Divorcees
The disgruntled divorcee is the last friend on my list to eliminate. I am not saying that all divorcees are disgruntled. But what I am saying is you need to be aware of the attitudes and words that these kinds of friends speak. Don’t find yourself joining in agreement when they are bashing their former spouse. Let the wind blow them as far as the east is from the west.
Friends and Marriage
How Many Types of Friends on The List Do You Need to Say "Good-Bye" to?
Now that you know what type of friends you need to get rid of before you get married, take action and move on with your new life. Learn from other well-meaning relationships how to stay together. Marriage is a life-long commitment - may as well learn some life-long strategies.