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12 Ways to Help Save Your Relationship

Updated on July 1, 2011

12 - Look in the Mirror

No matter how hard we try, we're just not going to be able to change another person. Instead of trying to change your significant other, maybe you should take some time to look in the mirror and figure out what things you could change about yourself.

None of us are perfect, and before we even think about pointing the finger at someone else, we should take a careful look at ourselves, and worry about getting some things done in our own lives before trying to convince others that they need to make some changes in theirs.

When we take the time to make necessary changes in our own lives, not only will we have a better perspective on things, but we will also be able to change our relationships with others. We can't change our neighbors, our friends, and our loved ones, but we can change ourselves, and when we take the time to make those changes in our lives, we can change the ways in which others interact with us.

11 - Get Away

This one is self explanatory, unless of course you thought I was talking about getting away from your significant other.  No, instead take some time to get away somewhere with your significant other. 

Take the day off, go away for a weekend, or even just for an afternoon.  Get some alone time with your significant other where the two of you can have some privacy and just be together. 

It would be a good idea to do this every month, if you are unable to do it about every week or so.  Don't neglect your significant other.  Make some plans, and get alone together. 


10 - Write About It

Writing is a great way to express how you feel.  In this day and age we don't have a lot of instances where we would need to write a love letter to someone, but back in the day that is just what they did. 

Once in a while, you might try writing your significant other a love letter.  It doesn't have to be long and involved if you don't want it to be.  It could even be a short note that you leave somewhere where your significant other will come across it at some point during the day. 

Share your feelings, share your love, and be closer to your significant other through the age old process of writing. 

9 - Be Fun and Competitive

Everyone loves to have fun, and everyone likes to compete for something or other at some point in their life.  This should be no different when it comes to your relationship. 

Play games, play some sports, have some contests, and just plain do things that are fun, but may also allow you and your significant other to be competitive. 

Don't be jealous, don't be envious, and don't be intimidated.  Just have fun, and you and your significant other will have a better relationship in the process.    

8 - Reminisce

Remember when you and your significant other first met?  What did you do?  What did you say?  Remember the courtship, the dates, the fun? 

If you are married, remember the engagement and the days leading up to the wedding?  Remember the wedding itself, and the honeymoon, and other great times that the two of you have had together since. 

Share some of these great times with your significant other, talk about them, laugh about them, and just remember them together.  Every couple has moments that they love to remember.  Dwell on those moments with your significant other, and you just might rekindle some old feelings that the two of you had together.   

7 - Try Something New

Eventually relationships usually tend to become kind of predictable.  To help keep this from happening you may want to try something new every once in a while with your significant other. 

Go sky diving, scuba diving, mountain climbing, biking, hiking, snow boarding, skiing, surfing, boating, swimming, etc...  You get the idea.  It doesn't have to be something extreme, but just make sure that it's something that the both of you might enjoy doing. 

Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone.  Without ever doing anything different, you are just hoping that everything will stay the same, which it may not, so get out there and try some new things with your significant other. 

6 - Love and Respect

This is a good one. In any relationship there needs to be love and respect on both sides, but usually men need to concentrate on the love, and women need to concentrate on the respect.

In most cases women need to know on a daily basis that their men love them. Men may think that once in a while is good enough, but women need to hear it and know it on a daily basis.

On the other hand, while most men would not question that their women love them, they would question whether or not they are really respected by them. Women may think that men can take on anything when it comes to their feelings, but if they lose the respect of their women, it really does hurt.

Men need to focus on loving their women, and women need to focus on respecting their men. This is why the Apostle Paul said, "Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)

5 - Spend More Time Together

When you neglect your significant other, bad things tend to happen.  Now, we are all accountable for our own choices, however, you don't want to put your significant other in a position where he or she has to choose to spend time alone or with someone else. 

Family always comes first.  Make sure that your man or woman knows that on a daily basis by spending time with them instead of placing your priorities in other areas. 

Don't get me wrong, it's okay to work, it's okay to have friends, and it's okay do do things without your significant other, but do not neglect.  Make sure that your communication is crystal clear on this one between you and your significant other.  Spending time with your family is always the number one choice.   

4 - Think Outloud

There will probably be several times throughout the day when you and your significant other will think about each other, even though you may be apart.  Sometimes when this happens, instead of just thinking about it, let your man or woman know that you are thinking of them. 

This is beneficial for both men and women in relationships, but it is probably the women who enjoy this the most.  Give her a call, leave her a message, and just let her know that you were thinking about her, and that you wanted to take a moment out of your day to let her know how special she is, and what she means to you. 

In most cases, this will drive your woman wild, and she will be waiting to see you again later on to let you know how much she appreciated hearing from you. 

3 - Be Intimate

In most relationships touching can go a long way, but it doesn't always have to lead to sex. 

Kissing, holding hands, holding each other, and any other kinds of touching can make you and your significant other feel close together.  Making love is a kind of touching that can make you feel close also, but try to focus on other kinds of touching, especially if you are a guy. 

Touch your significant other on a daily basis and let them know that you care, and your relationship will be even better for it. 

2 - Apologize

This one is hard.  We don't like to be wrong about stuff, and we definitely don't like other people to know that we were wrong about something. However, if you and your significant other are going to have a successful relationship, you will need to be able to apologize. 

No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes.  We need to be able to convey that we are sorry for the things that we have done, especially if someone was hurt by what we did. 

Throw your pride out the window, forget your lame excuses (even if you think they are good ones), and let your significant other know that you really regret something that you did that hurt them, and that you never want to do it again. 

We are all human, and eventually someone will be hurt by something that we do or say (hopefully not intentionally), and we need to be able to say, "I'm sorry".  In order to keep a relationship moving forward you need to be able to reconcile.  If you have caused hurt, you need to apologize.   


1 - Get Some Things Said

No matter what kind of relationship you are in, there will be a time when things just need to be said. When it comes to you and your significant other, there will be things that need to be said each and everyday.

Express your love by saying, "I love you". If you are a guy this may not seem like a big deal to you, but women love hearing this all the time. Express your love vocally as well as in active ways.

Express your love by saying, "I need you". Everyone has needs, and everyone needs to be needed some times. Make sure that your man, or your woman knows that you need them on a regular basis.

Express your love by saying, "No one else is quite like you". Your significant other wants to know that they are the person that matters the most in your life, and you need to let them know that by telling them so.

Express your love by saying, "Thank you". Everyone wants to feel appreciated for the things that they do. Make sure that you tell your significant other how much they are appreciated on a regular basis for everything they do, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.

When you express your love in these ways on a daily basis it will continue to come back to you in good ways, and it will also ensure that you and your significant other not only stay together, but remain close through good times and bad.


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    • kiddiecreations profile image

      Nicole K 

      20 months ago

      Very good advice! Getting away and trying something new caught my attention. It's tough to do when you have small children but definitely important to prioritize!

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      I think the problem with my relationship is we are together every single day and we get mad easily what can I do to fix things ???

    • profile image


      3 years ago

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    • profile image


      5 years ago

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      5 years ago

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      6 years ago

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    • profile image

      prophet sheriff 

      6 years ago

      After being in relationship with him for ten years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is ( you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I love my husband with all that I am weve been married 17 years we have 4 children left at home we have had our ups and downs what marriage doesn't but along the way I lost my self I became bitchy naggy and we have been arguing a lot

      Recently his ex that he has a daughter with found him on face book we hadn't seen them in 11years she took the girls and went on with another guy now that guy is gone and she is constantly texting him she lives in another state but they are still texting constantly,, I screwed up and went through his phone he caught me and we got into a huge fight I always trust my husband I let my insecurity over rule me there wasn't anything really bad but when we fought he told me He is not in love with me anymore im not them person he fell in love with,,and that ive lost spontaneous ness he says hes not going too leave till im done with school and working,,,,

      Please help me I love.him and don't want too lose him

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Relationships are difficult, people often lose sight of why they fell in love in the first place. Becoming aware of the way you think and behave and then replacing it with more productive thoughts and behaviours takes effort, but it can drastically improve the state of your relationship and help you to overcome a great deal of relationship challenges. This practice involves using your brain's plasticity to strengthen connections with certain (preferred) behaviour patterns, and the more it is practiced, the stronger the connections get.

      There is something The NEXT Program offers, a Program for Couples & Families, that uses your brain's plastic functions to guide you and your partner to having a happy, fulfilled relationship, in 24 weeks If you decide separating is still what's best for you, the program also has foundations in collaborative family law and it will help you do reduce the emotional and financial impact of separation. It offers something traditional therapy doesn't--results, whether you choose to remain together and regain the love you once had, or you wish to separate amicably.

      Check out the website, it's definitely worth a look.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Thank you, i know it is my decision and most of my friends say to go for it and let see where it ends up at and i will just have a talk with him like you said and see because i now he wants more then just kissing like we are friends, i have did a long distance relationship about 4yes ago and we were only an hour away from eachother and he cheated on me so i think i can do this one.

    • daveearley profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Well Brittany, I would say that the decision is totally up to you based on what you are willing to risk as far as a long distance relationship is concerned. It sounds like a tough decision, but I would definitely suggest that you talk it over with him and see how each of you feel about the situation. That way you can reduce unrealistic expectations and discover what the two of you want. It's probably manageable, but you will have to discuss it and go over the options, drawbacks, and solutions.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Hey daveearley i have something to ask you do you think it would be ok if i dated a guy who lived 14 hours away from me? i will only see him 2 or 3 times a year i am 17 and when i am 18 i will see him more when i trun 18 we met last july at a thing for familys and when we meet eyes i knew i liked him and later that night we kissed and he told me he liked me and he knew i liked him from the first time we meet eyes i will see him in Aug and the last time i seen him was last july and i think he is going to ask me out and i just don't know if i should say yes? and he gets other GF when i come back home i only have dated 3 guys and two of them have cheated on me one was with my sister and i have been single about 4yrs now i just don't know what to do i get a good since off of him and his name is noah he is not like all the other guys he just don't like me because of my butt or i am easy get. If You Can Help Me Pls Do????

    • daveearley profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Chicago, IL

      @Sean "Always" is probably a generalization, or else that would mean you are never having a good day or never have anything good to say about your day.

      I agree, I don't think we need to censor our conversations. Instead, you might try talking about your day in a different way, or you might try and focus on the good aspects of the day.

      If you find that it helps when she listens in such situations, let her know that.

      Some people become annoyed by complaints. It may be possible for you to talk about your day in a more passive manner.

      Of course, I do not know the exact situation or personalities involved so I can merely speculate.

    • profile image

      Sean Mungin 

      7 years ago

      I thought you were supposed to be able to share things with the person you're with without having to worry about having to censor your conversation. I was just told tonight that I'm always complaining whenever I talk. If you ask a person about their day and they've had a bad day...guess what? You're going to hear about a bad day! If you don't truly want to hear about their day, then don't ask...

      After respectfully listening to her about her day, do I ever tell her that she's always complaining. No. She's just telling me about her day, and I'm listening while getting upset because I know she's it frustrates me because I truly want her to have a great day without incident. Do I get the same consideration? No...

      So what do you do about things like this?

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Good advice, but to understand and to follow the advice, willingness to improve the relationship is most important. What if one of them don't feel the need to improve the relation?

    • Stephen Mercer profile image

      Stephen Mercer 

      7 years ago

      This is an awesome article. Every point you make is really good. I feel like people over look things so much that they forget about the small thing. It is just crazy to me. Relationships aren't that hard to keep alive. Once again awesome article. I have learned something already. Here is another site that relates this topic. I think the owner of this article would really appreciate it.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Thank you, thank you, thank you, a million times over for all the help and support you have given me.Dr.( Things between Leah and I are wonderful, she is so loving and caring, it has been magical and I owe you so much for your help, support and products. When this all began it seemed like an impossible dream and knowing all the circumstances surrounding was.

    • profile image

      magic of making up review 

      8 years ago

      I agree that looking deep into ourself and communication is key as is honesty. It can be very difficult to get to grips with that however and sometimes we need help or to speak to an impartial friend or colleague

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I understand this completely. Ive been through this a lot and i couldn't agree more. My boyfriend means the world to me but sometimes we have our ups and downs. Reading all this advise helped me and him realize that We both have a lot we need to work on. I'm more than glad to have him in my life but now I understand all my flaws. I just hope he knows that and that I love him.

    • design a house profile image

      design a house 

      8 years ago from Seattle, WA

      The basic theme seems to be honesty, which I couldn't agree with more. As long as you are honest with what you are feeling, then you can never go wrong.

      Great advice.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      you make women out to be needing in this article...she likes it, she needs it..the advise was good but I would of liked it more if they didn't make us so needy...

    • profile image

      its over is all she can say 

      9 years ago

      that is good advice, except when your relationship is set on seeing each other all the time. no time away is cause for some rough times, especially with someone who has been told she is crazy, has it run in her family, knows it, but still won't do anything about it.

    • noor tony profile image

      noor tony 

      9 years ago

      Through pride out the windowis great solution for quarrels.I loved your helpful information

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 

      10 years ago from France

      Very good advice. Taking time toguether with your partner is always a good one and it has worked several times for me. Being alone with your partner is very important, specially if you have children at home. Taking at least a weekend away from home does help find each other again.

    • Lgali profile image


      10 years ago

      this is good info

      If you are married, remember the engagement and the days leading up to the wedding? Remember the wedding itself, and the honeymoon, and other great times that the two of you have had together since.


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