109 Premarital Christian Counseling Questions to Ask

Asking probing questions as you court a Christian guy or Christian woman will help you to know that person through and through so that you can both make adjustments and increase compatibility.

Additionally, asking yourself certain tough and honest questions will help you to adopt strategies to help you live lovingly with your spouse when you marry.

Accordingly, here are some premarital Christian counseling questions you may ask your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Checkout these 50 questions you can ask your beloved too! and they will help you.

• What is your idea of love?
• What are the strengths of our present relationship? What are its weaknesses? What are the threats that can undermine this relationship?
• Which 5 marriages that you and I both know would you say are wonderful? Why do you think that they are wonderful? What positive lessons can we learn from these marriages? What principles do they use that we can apply to our relationship to make our marriage work?
• What effect do you think our first baby will have on our marriage? How do you think the new baby will change the marriage? How will we support one another to take care of the baby?
• Taking care of a newborn baby can bring a lot of stress to a marriage and cause a couple to draw apart emotionally. How will we maintain intimacy when we have our first baby so that we do not grow apart emotionally?
• How do you think we can create a home and not just live in a house as individuals?
• How can we create a strong family?
• How can we develop a marriage culture? How can we keep the “why” or the purpose of this marriage upmost in our minds every day to help us remain committed to each other?
• How can we continue to communicate directly, especially as the marriage progresses so that communication does not become ineffective and consensus becomes more difficult to build?
• How can we develop a common marriage “language” or standards of behavior which we will use to relate to each other to make our marriage culture more tangible so that it can stand forever?
• If you are both teenagers, you may ask: Do you think you are emotionally independent to live with me without going to your parents often for emotional support when we have issues that we can deal with easily? Or, are you still very strongly attached to your parents emotionally?

• Would you say you had an easy life or a tough life when growing up? So can you endure hardship? Or do you find it very difficult to endure hardship?
• What view do you have of marriage? Do you see it as a sacred contract? Do you see it as an institution that brings happiness to the individuals who enter it? Do you view it as a biological necessity?
• Do you think I am a true companion?
• How do we ensure that there is democracy in the home? How do we ensure that there is equity always and the rights of everyone in the home is respected? Should we involve the kids in some of the decisions that will be taken?
• What makes you feel great? The wealth you have? The knowledge you have amassed? Your career and the prospects for the future? Your reaction to human need?
• Would you say you are a skeptical person? Are you cocksure of your own views and unwilling to hear the views of others?
• Would you say you are a disciplined person?
• Which is more important to you? Money or a united family?
• Would you say you are materialistic? Would you place making money so that you can acquire things over spending quality time with me? Will you be so preoccupied with making money and acquiring things that you will often forget to pay attention to our marriage?
• Do you think that true happiness comes from amassing everything that you want, or living a life of ease and affluence?
• Do you agree with Jesus that there is more happiness in giving than in receiving? Do you think that happiness and satisfaction come from expending what you have to make someone else feel happy?
• I hope and pray that that never happens, but if it should, will you still stay with me if we lose everything we have? Will you desert me?

• Do you normally think before you speak and do you often consider what you are going to say before it comes out of your mouth? Do you take a reasonable realistic view of matters before you react?
• Do you think I am a tolerant person? How can I become more tolerant so that we can have fewer fights?
• How can we create a loving home for our kids?
• How highly do you value trust in a relationship?
• Would you say I communicate my feelings and thoughts well? If I don’t, how do you think I can do better?
• Do you enjoy my conversations? How do you think I can converse with you better so that you can enjoy the times we spend together better?
• Why do you think love fades from marriages? What can we do to ensure that our love will continue to burn throughout our marriage?
• Do you view the imperfections in me and in yourself as an opportunity for you to grow? Do you view them as a nuisance?
• How can we ensure mutual respect so that our love bond will remain strong for years?
• Do you think we know each other that well now to get married? What more do you need to know about me?

• Do I have a secret pride of spirit or an exalted feeling in view of my achievements in life or my position, and because of my good training and good appearance, considering my partner’s humble background? How can I deal with it so that it does not destroy our marriage?
• Am I too egocentric? Do I find it difficult to make friends? Do I often have prejudices against people? Do I make excuses to keep from facing facts and realities? Am I emotionally unstable? How can I make a therapist and my partner help me so that I can find it easier to make friends with my partner’s friends and with his family when we marry?
• Am I too independent as a person? Am I too self-sufficient? Am I too dominant? Do I love supremacy when I am in a relationship? What can I do so that I can make the necessary adjustment which will help me to relate well with my partner so that we don’t have fights, and so that I will not drive away my partner’s friends and relations when we marry?
• Do I have a strong self-will? Am I stubborn? Do I have an un-teachable spirit? Do I have an arguing spirit? Do I have a headstrong disposition? Do I have a peevish, fretful spirit? Do I have a disposition to criticize and pick flaws when people do not give me attention?
• Do I have a spirit of discouragement? Do I normally show unbelief in times of pressure and opposition? Do I lack quietness and confidence in God? Do I have a disposition to worry and complain in the midst of pain, poverty, or at the dispensations of Divine providence?
• Do I have a jealous disposition? Do I have a secret of envy shut up in my heart? Do I experience unpleasant sensations when others prosper and succeed? Do I have a disposition to speak of faults and failings rather than the gifts and virtues of those more talented than me?
• Do I have a dishonest and deceitful disposition? Do I often evade or cover up the truth? Do I cover up my real faults and try to leave a better impression of myself than is strictly true? Do I show false humility, exaggerate, or strain the truth in an effort to win favors from others?
• Do you love the Bible? Do you try to apply it to your life?
• Do you think you see God in my heart? Do you see Him in my heart?
• As the originator of relationships and families, what do you think God expects of us as a couple? As parents? How are we going to meet those expectations?
• How do you see prayer? Do you view prayer as a way to bring deliverance from a situation, or as a way to get power from God that will give you the ability to accept bad situations? Do you see prayer as simply pushing things onto God that He may do them for you? Do you view it as asking, by God’s power, to make you able to do what you have to do to make a relationship work? Do you see prayer as a means through which you receive power to do things such as controlling your anger so that a marriage can work?

In this article I have shared a number of premarital Christian counseling questions with you which I know can help both of you to bare your hearts and minds to each other, as well as make you assess your preparedness for the marriage. Use them and you can increase the chances of building a strong marriage.