11 Signs That Your Girl May Not Be "Miss Right"

Dedication

For my dear friend and follower Shae Kelly, who encouraged me at a time when I much needed inspiration.

It’s sad that men and women can both be so gullible at various times of their lives.

For some, it’s the single years while for others, the gullibility hits after a few years of marriage.

The only known cure for gullibility is more knowledge. And that only comes with more studying and improving one’s mental powers. Easier said than done.

Let us, for a moment or two, consider the single man for example. For my wager, I’d be willing to bet that us guys are more-gullible than any of you girls. Here’s my ten bucks to back up my bet.

Single guys are out for one thing: Female companionship. Lots of female companionship. Take my word for it.

No harm in that. I too used to be quite the “girl chaser,” and in my many chases, I was “taken for a ride,” by some smooth-talking sister (I didn’t say “flussie”) just so I would give her a ride to see her friends.

As she got out of my car I would ask like any guy who has suddenly realized that he has been taken for a clod, “can I call you later?”

When those words left my lips, she would look at her fellow smooth-talking sisters and all of them howl like a roving pack of hyenas that (was seen on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins and Jim Fowler) had just found dinner.

I didn’t feel good when this happened to me. I will admit here and now that this happened to me a lot more than once.

But after a lot of being used by “these” girls who only “looked” good on the outside, but inside were selfish, greedy and only out for themselves, I wised-up.

1.) She uses Jack Daniels whiskey for milk to pour over her cereal every morning.

2.) She dips smokeless tobacco most of the time--even in church.

3.) She always wants you to look at her photos of her “old flames” she has loved long before you came into her life.

4.) She dresses scantily on purpose when your male friends drop by for a beer and a game of pool.

5.) She flirts (as if she were possessed) with every man she sees and even when she is shopping for groceries with you.

6.) She loves to flirt with girls just to make you wonder if it’s a male who she really loves.

7.) She loves to get into fist-fights with total strangers and when she beats a guy down to the sidewalk, she yells a victory chant equal to that of the legendary Tarzan of The Apes.

8.) She does not believe in holding down a full-time job, but instead tells you that her religious beliefs forbid her from working.

9.) She calls the police department everyday to make false reports, and she then laughs at you when they, the police, threaten to take you to jail for this offense.

10.) She eludes security at college football games and runs onto the field wearing only black panties and bra while yelling, “I am the queen of the south! You best bow down to me!”

11.) She torments your pet dog, “Chuckles,” by turning her pet cat, “Lucifer,” loose on him.

So now, all my single guy friends, are you ready to “walk the aisle,” and wed the girl who fits any or all of these descriptions?

I suggest that you take some time and really think about what you are about to do.

Oh, “I love her more than life,” you say. “and you can change her in time,” you argue.

Well then, go for it. Best wishes to you and your “demon damsel.”

But do not call me when you “tie the knot,” and things go from worse to worse for I am too weak to fight the temptation of saying, “I told you so.”

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Disclaimer: Although smokeless tobacco was mentioned in this article, the author does not condone the use of tobacco in any form.