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11 Reasons Why Good Men Won't Cheat

Updated on October 20, 2016

Cheating in a relationship is, of course, not monopolized by either gender. Men cheat, women cheat, and according to studies, they have different reasons for doing so. Each individual and scenario brings about a reason or reasons of its own. Stories are frequently told of men who can’t keep it in their pants’ and of irresponsible dads who disappear after siring a child. Bad men always have excuses for why men cheat – it was a momentary lapse of judgment, she started it, it meant nothing, or it was purely physical. But good men don’t give frail excuses like these; they are men of honor, they have integrity, and they do the right thing, no matter what the temptation they are faced with, they have solid reasons for being faithful. A good man is a man of his word and his word of honor is very crucial. After doing all the work of getting a woman to trust him and convincing her that he is what he says he is a good man, he would never damage his honor by betraying her. Does that mean they are never tempted? No it doesn't. They are all tempted from time to time. But when they are, they walk away from it or run, as far as necessary. There are plenty of reasons why a good man won’t cheat. Here are some of them:

He's happy with what he's got

A good man appreciates what he has. Once a good man have settled down with a woman he cares about, the last thing he wants to do is go searching for more women. Cheating just isn't an option. The more he appreciates you, the more valuable, the less he’ll be willing to risk losing you or hurting you. When a good man truly loves and appreciates the woman in his life, he would never act in ways that put his relationship with her in jeopardy.

He is not impulsive

Monogamy is a choice. It is a pledge to the person you love to commit yourself to them, and only them. A good man has the ability to resist his basic urges for the sake of a more important choice he has made for himself. What kind of man would have a one night stand with a woman he just met in a bar? We usually hear about women having trouble controlling their emotions. Truth be told, men are much worse, especially with sexual urge. Emotional stability only comes to those mature enough to discuss their feelings and deal with them in an appropriate way. A proper outlet might be sports, martial arts, or painting but definitely not the girl next door. Most cases of cheating begin with that one moment of weakness or impulse and this is the main reason why a good man won’t cheat, he is emotionally stable.

He's not only interested in sex

When he is in a loving, committed relationship with someone, there are far more layers of fulfillment than just sex. His main aim in your relationship is to make you happy and be happy within himself. Sex is great, but it's not the most important thing about you two being together anymore. It's the added bonus, but he cares about you enough to not let the relationship solely be about sex. A relationship based solely on sexual attraction is a flimsy one that could fall apart at the first challenge; but when two people genuinely love and respect each other, they can weather any storm.

A good man has a conscience.

Any man, who cheats, realizes soon after or almost immediately that he has done something wrong. The constant guilt associated with cheating on a woman he loves and then having to pretend everything is great when he is around her; is impossibly difficult. A good man will have respect for himself and a conscience. . He understands the consequences of such an action and realizes that he can’t handle the ensuing guilt or breakup of the relationship. The guilt would eat him alive from the inside out.

He respects the woman in his life

A good man is respectful. Cheating is seriously disrespectful. When he cheats, he needs to lie, and it is breaking the trust of his partner, and those are not things a man does to someone he respects. When he breaks her trust and he will never really get her back. Unlike men for whom women are objects to be misused, a good man sees his woman as his partner, and a person deserving of his trust, respect, and loyalty. A wife is not just a lover but also a friend and, most importantly, a human being. A good man would show her the respect she deserves.

He has willpower

A good man has enough willpower to keep it in his pants. Keeping it in his pants is a fundamental precept of growing up. While sexual desires and urges are completely natural, a good man knows when to keep his fantasy life inside his own head. He is not hormonal teenager who is ready to jump the next thing in a skirt. If he really wants sex that badly then he’ll sleep with the woman who loves him. Exhibiting the willpower necessary to do this is a skill that any good man will cultivate within himself.

He doesn't need to add notches to his bedpost

You may have heard of men who think of the women they’ve bedded as ‘notches’ on their bedpost, which then they brag about. Sexual encounters just to have sexual encounters are one thing, but good men don’t indulge in sex simply to tell the story after. Women are not objects; and a good man knows that he shouldn’t be treated as such. A good man treats this act with the respect that it deserves. A man who is secure and confident in himself no longer has a need to validate his manhood or self-worth by proving he can ‘get the girl. Men who are insecure often times need to continue achieving conquests in order to feel like men. At one stage in his life, he probably did keep an eye on how many women he was bringing back to his house each week. However, he's got a wife now and is very happy to keep that bedpost just how it is.

He thinks long term

A good man who is serious about his relationships isn’t interested in a string of flings, none of which end anywhere. He’d prefer a long term relationship and the stability of a family rather than flitting from woman to another, or worse, one night stand to one night stand. Since he understands what’s at stake, he’s not interested in risking what he has for any kind of temptation and would rather focus his gaze on his wife.

A good man respects himself.

A good man values principles and he holds himself to high standards. He holds a certain standard for the way he lives his life and the character he has worked so hard to build and maintain. He considers himself to be above the Casanovas and Lotharios and womanizers, and he respects himself too much to put himself in such a despicable position. He's worked hard to be, who and where he is, and doesn't need to disrespect himself or his wife. Some men stop themselves from cheating simply because they are afraid of getting caught – but a good man would stay faithful even if it were guaranteed that nobody would find out if he wasn’t. He expects complete loyalty from his partner and is willing to give the same in return. He also cares about his reputation as an honorable man, which he is not ready to lose if he cheated.

Real men communicate

If a good man’s sex life is lacking or unfulfilled in some way, a real man understands how to appropriately communicate that with his partner so that he gets what he needs while maintaining his current relationship.

A good man doesn’t take the easy way out.

Breakups happen every day and for all different reasons – but a good man will understand that and take it in stride. Cheating is the easy way out. It is a way to avoid facing your problems rather than standing up and dealing with them like a grown adult. It’s the easy way out of a bad relationship. If he's a good man, he'll realize that every relationship has difficult stages. A good man won't leave you when times get tough.

He is fully invested

A common reason why men cheat is because they care too little about their current partner or her feelings. A good man doesn’t have this problem because he doesn’t rush into relationships. A good man wouldn’t get involved with a woman that he doesn’t love. When you’re in a relationship with a good man, rest assured that he has given it enough thought before committing himself to you. He believes that anything worth doing is worth doing well, and this applies to his relationships. As I’ve said earlier, he isn’t impulsive, so he takes his time to commit and once in, he’ll give his all to make it work.

A good man values his reputation.

A good man isn’t good without reason; he has a strong character, built upon his core values and principles. Irrespective of the situation, a good man will possess strength of character. He won't want his reputation to be tarnished. He cares for his honor and doesn't want to be the sort of person who breaks his given word or deceives. Being labeled as a cheater is not just about romantic life; it permeates his entire character and makes people look at him differently. If he would turn your back and betray the person he claims he loves; how are people with lesser connections with him supposed to take your word for anything?

A good man doesn’t hurt women

A good man would never hurt the woman he loves. Cheating is a selfish act that shows you putting yourself before someone you supposedly love. He loves and cares for her as well as those who are closest to her. A good man doesn’t abuse women; and cheating amounts to emotional abuse. He certainly will be devastated to see the distress in his partner’s eyes once she finds out the man she trusted to have her back, was a cheater. He understands that while it’s important to maintain himself and keep himself happy, it’s doubly important to make those around him happier still. Hurting her would be hurting himself – and that is something no good man would choose to do.

A good man will never turn his back on a friend.

In a happy, healthy relationship – you are not only lovers, but friends. Best friends. You are each other’s support systems, teammates, and confidants. A good man will never sacrifice a friendship, especially with his best friend. A good man will never betray a friend, let alone a best friend.

A good man doesn’t even have time to cheat.

A good man stays faithful. A healthy, productive man generally has a full life, with work, home, friends, and hobbies that leave behind no time to cheat. If he's living his life properly, he should be a pretty busy man. An idle mind is a devil’s workshop, which explains why men cheat when they don’t have much to do. But this isn’t a problem with a good man, and his mind is too occupied with positive thoughts to stray into the darker side. If he was less busy or had more time he would be using that time to find new ways to love the woman he already has. The woman he sees as an extension of himself. That’s why a good man doesn’t have the time to cheat, because the time he does have is dedicated to the woman he loves. Any time that he does have spare, should be spent with you or trying to do things to make himself a better man, not a worse one.

He accepts responsibility

Well, real men understand that these are just that – excuses, and not reasons to validate an act like cheating. He is a man who is used to taking responsibility for his actions at home and work, and he knows that should he cheat, it would be completely his fault and no one else’s.

Conclusion

Cheating is not an accident. It requires the same process that any seduction would – an initial meeting, flirting, maybe some exchanging of information, an invitation, an acceptance of said invitation, and then finally the act itself. There are countless chances for a man to say “sorry, I’m in a relationship,” which is exactly what a good man who is truly committed to you will do. If you look through the list again, you’ll see that these reasons aren’t temporary personality quirks; they are based on deep rooted value systems that aren’t going to change in a hurry. A good man won't cheat because he values integrity, trust, loyalty and commitment. To cheat on someone is to betray them, and disrespect them in a very profound way.

If a man is to cheat on his partner, would being drunk be a reasonable excuse for it?

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    • Seiyefa Okirika profile image

      Seiyefa Okirika 9 months ago from Warri, Delta State, Nigeria

      For me i think its normal for a man to cheat when he is not married. But if he is married it is a no no.

    • Chuksm profile image
      Author

      Anthony Modungwo 9 months ago from Benin

      Seiyefa, yes that is what it is supposed to be but you know that is not what it is. So it is only disciplined men who keep to marital vow. However, I encourage men to respect their spouses. Cheating is not only men issue women are equally into it.

    • Seiyefa Okirika profile image

      Seiyefa Okirika 9 months ago from Warri, Delta State, Nigeria

      Noted....

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 9 months ago

      Seiyefa, Most women wouldn't choose to marry a man who has been cheating on them while they were dating.

      Commitment actually comes before marriage!

      Anthony, This is an excellent article!

      Naturally there is one thing I do think people fail to realize about cheaters. You said that cheating " is the easy way out of a bad relationship. If he's a good man, he'll realize that every relationship has difficult stages. A good man won't leave you when times get tough."

      The reality is most people who cheat do so in order to stay and tolerate their existing relationship/marriage. Very few are looking to replace one relationship with another. Essentially they want to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.

      Cheaters lack the maturity and wisdom to accept the fact that no one gets "everything" that they want! Instead of being happy with someone who gives them 80% of what they desire they selfishly seek out someone else to get that other 20%. Should they get caught they risk losing the 80%!

      In other instances people lack the courage to walk away from unhappy marriages. They don't want to risk lowering their living standards financially. Cheating helps them to stay & tolerate an "unhappy marriage".

    • Chuksm profile image
      Author

      Anthony Modungwo 9 months ago from Benin

      Thanks dashingscorpio for your contribution. It is enlightening.

    • profile image

      sidney 5 months ago

      Okay I am in a relationship with my boyfriend.. We have been together for 2 years and we are in love. I trust him with all my heart but recently Ive decided to test him so I pranked him an told him that we are done I gave a girl his number to text an call him. So she did an screen shot the entire conversation between the both of them an sent it to me, when I saw the conversation I was disappointed in him because he was flirting with her while she had no interest in him it was just a test. Then a couple days later I saw he messaged his friend on Facebook saying he is going to meet her at the mall.. After that the next day I spoke to him an apologized an told him abt how It was a test an I felt really hurt because if he really loved me how could he meet this other girl behind my back although they didn't meet because it was me who had set up everything.. But still how could u even think about meeting someone else behind my back an flirting with them.. I was so disappointed in him, clearly he failed the test but since then till now I'm having trust issues because of that incident , what should I do????

    • Chuksm profile image
      Author

      Anthony Modungwo 5 months ago from Benin

      Sidney thanks for contacting me with your problem. Here are my suggestions:

      Some men cannot say no, when approached by seductive, and sexy women. Susan Kelly in her book Why Men Stray, Why Men Stay wrote, “The kind of women men stray with may come as a big shock. They are not typically the tramp, hated, stereotyped ‘other woman’. It could be a very close friend or someone you least suspect –a woman he is comfortable with and who pays attention to him.”

      2. Men who spend a lot of time in the company of people who cheat, eventually become cheaters. If their co-workers, close friends are cheating on their mates, they succumb to peer pressure and cheat to be part of the crowd. After all birds of the same feather flock together. Some of the mistresses may fix up the unoccupied men with their friends.

      3.Some men think that the more women they have sex with, the manlier they are. They think is a macho thing to do. While some men are quite content spending the rest of their lives having sex with the same wife for many years, others prefer to experiment with more women. They are hardcore cheaters for whom cheating is a way of life. They like having lots of women and pitting one against the other. They want to sleep with many women, many times, and therefore do not think twice before going into an extra-marital alliance.

      4. Some men relish the thrill of the chase. Some cheaters actually thrive on the excitement generated by the secret affairs. They view all the dodging and sneaking during infidelity as a form of recreation, or a high risk game which excite them.

      He may just be chatting up your friend just for the fun of it. Even if they met, you don't know what would have happened. Maintain your good relationship and stop tempting your boyfriend. You may have yourself to blame.

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