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14 Reasons Not To Be Engaged or Get Married

Updated on October 24, 2016

Marriage is a sacred union with two people who pledge to spend their lives loving and cherishing one another. Nowadays get married for all sorts of different reasons. Here are some wrong main reasons people might choose to get married, that can cause problems in the relationship.


1. Friends and Family- your friends and family expect you to be married by now. They are constantly nagging you and setting you up with someone. They believe that you will be happy if someone was in your life or they want someone to take care of you. Although the expectation might be there, you need to know what you need right now in your life.

2. Left Out- You also feel left out because most of your friends, relatives, coworkers are all married and have children, so the pressure to have someone in your life is there. Do not let this reason cause you just seriously date any loser.

3. Loneliness- there are many great places in your community to meet people and to get involved in groups. Marriage should not only be seen as the cure that will completely relieve all your loneliness. Build healthy friendships besides looking for dates and marriage to fill a void.

4. Age- Yes, you are older or getting older, but don’t let this be the reason to cause you to rush into making unwise choices with guys or ladies and settling for anyone who wants you. You may feel awkward seeing others with spouses and children and at times they might make you feel awkward for not being married. But this these things should not push you to just date and marry anyone.

5. Looks- because of a good looking man or attractive woman. Outward appearance of someone is not as important as what’s on the inside of them, how they treat you, others, their values and qualities and character. You can end up with someone good looking, but he or she may be a different person on the inside.


6. To Have a Wedding- you just want to have a wedding that you have been planning since you were a little girl. If this is your aim, but not much thought might have been given to building the relationship now and after the wedding and honeymoon.

7. Want to get Married- this is a great reason to choose marriage, but don’t be in love with the fact of getting married. Let marriage be about sharing your life, dreams, goals with someone. Only wanting to get married should not only be the reason for marriage. This can cause you to pick anyone or get involved with anyone just because you want to get married. It might blind you to the real individual this person is.

8. It’s Time in your Relationship- you’ve been together with someone for 2 years or more and believe that it is time to get married. You want more in the relationship, but you need to know if your partner is ready for the next step or will be ready in the future. Do not demand commitment, just know where he or she stands pertaining to this issue. Then decide if you should stay in this relationship, or should move on from this relationship.

9. Someone wants to marry you- although an opportunity is there, where someone wants to marry you, if it is an old high school or college boyfriend, someone in your past or present, make sure this is what you want as well. Don’t base your decision on what the other person wants.



10. Dysfunctional Family- you live in a chaotic home where there is alcohol or drugs or abuse and believe that marriage will get you out of this situation. There's help out there for these situation, but marriage should not be the answer to get of your parent’s house.

11. To Leave your city and state- you are tired of living in the same town for a number of years and someone comes along and wants to take you away from your town. Marriage is seen as a way to escape out of the area you live in. If you want to leave, make plans, have goals and dreams and work to make it happen.

12. Money- you are in debt and believe that marrying a wealthy man will eliminate your debt, but you do not love that person. Marriage should not be a place where your financial problems are fixed.

Going into a marriage believing a person is going to make up for bad childhood experiences and upbringing with your parents and he/she will makes you whole- Although love, being in love is awesome, and you may desire your marriage to be better than what your childhood and parents marriage, placing that expectation on a person can be quite overwhelming. If you need to be healed of past traumas, talk to a counselor, pastor, find some trusted friends to talk to or get in a group where you can be helped.

14. A parent for your children- although this is a legitimate reason for a single parent to get married and you desire your mate to help with the kids, do not let this be the main reason for you to marry anyone. Marry for the right reasons. There are people who are mentors and father figures and who can be of great help to your children.


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    • Alecia Murphy profile image

      Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

      I would like to think in the 21st century as we have progressed so much people wouldn't feel a need to marry due to outside pressures but you're right people feel obligated to marry instead of feeling the desire to be with the right person.

      I'm not married but if and when I do get married, I know it will be because I wanted it and knew it was right instead of trying to make others happy or fulfill a role.

      Great hub!

    • misslong123 profile image

      Michele Kelsey 4 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

      Excellent article! I totally can relate to almost all of the reasons. I'm past the age when you are "supposed" to be married in "Oklahoma." My family doesn't pressure me, and I date, but I know that I will still have 50 or 60 years with whoever I marry, so I better chose him right! That's a long time. This weekend my boyfriend and I are seeing if we can stand each other from Thursday to Sunday night. I think that's a good test. If we can't stand each other, how would we be able to stand 50 years? lol. Great topic and points!

    • Janellegems profile image
      Author

      Janellegems 4 years ago from United States

      That's absolutely right Alecia, people should marry when they think it is right for them and not affected by what others believe they should do. I appreciate your comment. Thanks.

    • Janellegems profile image
      Author

      Janellegems 4 years ago from United States

      Misslong, I am glad you can relate to this hub. That's an excellent idea and plan to have with your boyfriend to see if you can stand each other. Hope it works out well. Thank you so much for your comment.

    • AmandaJon profile image

      Amanda Jones 3 years ago

      There should be no other reasons to make you want to get marry but these: you can't live without each other any second, you love and care about each other and want to spend the rest of your life together.

      Very Useful hub especially for engaged couples.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      Excellent hub! Voted up, useful, and awesome!

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