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19 Expectations of Women of Men That Are Not Easily Realizable

Updated on November 12, 2017

Unrealistic Expectations Women Have of Men

Most women are realistic but some women have a set of unrealistic expectations of men. Before you start a relationship, it is helpful to know what you expect once you’re in one, however, some women get so caught up with unrealistic expectations that they often mix up fantasies with reality and forget that those ideal men don’t actually exist. What happens when you have expectations that don’t get met? You get unhappy and think about ending the relationship. Unrealistic expectations are poisonous to relationships. In fact, many relationships end because these women didn’t get their expectations met. Having unrealistic expectations are the sign of an immaturity. What unrealistic expectations do women often have about men when it comes to relationship? Here are 7 unrealistic expectations women have of men.

1. Love me unconditionally

There’s no such thing as unconditional love – only stupidity that often comes with loving another. No woman wants a stupid man; but an intelligent man. Intelligent men are goal-oriented. They do things because they want to do them; therefore they love you because of all the things that you do for them and mean to them. All of these rely upon conditions. When certain conditions change, his love is equally affected. These changes may strengthen the relationship just as they may weaken it – it all depends on the nature of change. People don’t love unconditionally.

2. Knowing the right things to say

One of the unrealistic expectations women have of men is that they should know the right things to say. Many women are carried away by the scenes in romantic movies and novels. Unfortunately, in reality that rarely happens. In most cases, men say the exact opposite of what women want to hear. You set yourself for disappointment when you use fictional characters as a guide in choosing a partner because majority of girls, when they first start dating, their idea of romance is mostly based on movies, fairy tales and romantic novels. These movies set up such an unrealistic portrayal of how relationships work those women who are not more reasonable sit by and actually think this is how it works.

3. He will change

Don’t think you can change him, or mold him into someone you want him to be. Some women will deceive themselves into thinking that, “He used to be a playboy, but with me, he's different or He opened up to me about his exes. They were crazy. He had bad past relationships. But with me, it's different. I'm not one of those crazy women or He will never cheat on me. Never. I know him. He will never cheat on me because he is in love with me. And people in love don't cheat .”

4. Don’t look at other women

Something women need to understand that men will always want to admire beautiful women. They honestly can’t help it. However, the smarter ones will have the courtesy of not doing so when they are with their partner. Even women secretly admire men once the only difference is that men don’t pretend about their admiration but may not act on their urges.

5. Woo you indefinitely

Men might try their hardest to capture your heart but they won’t go to extreme lengths to chase you. No man will wait for his whole life for you to snap back into reality. It's unrealistic to expect that just because you're a woman, you get to do what you want to do all the time and the man will compile. By the time it is late, you will start to pursue men and want to fix things, and men will tend to withdraw.

6. Don’t pay attention to my looks

That once they are committed, the man should no longer expect her to look as alluring or act as sexual as she was before. Men do love you for you for your character but your looks are a part of it. If a man really loves you, then your looks aren’t all that matter yet it plays a role because men respond to that which they see with our eyes. Does this mean that we will leave you when you begin to wrinkle and your skin begins to sag? Most men won’t. But some will. Those men have no loyalty, so think of it as a blessing in disguise.

7. That it's up to only the man to impress

It's unrealistic to expect that unlimited funds are always available, or that a woman shouldn't have to reciprocate. Even if you're dating a rich man, make an effort to give him something once in a while. Men like to feel special too, and not to be treated like cash cows all the time. some women tend to think about or mention what they want, but not what they have to offer themselves.

8. Expect he means everything he says

Some men usually say things that they do not mean. A lady once complained to me that she dated a guy for nearly five months. Everything was fine. He texted her almost every day saying sweet things, then after two weeks he stopped texting and saying those sweet things but the lady wanted the relationship to continue. She didn't realize that he was playing games and was not sincere. She never expected him not to play games or act like a jerk.

9. Expect men to read their minds

It is unrealistic for women to expect men to read their minds especially when it comes to knowing what they did to make them upset at any given time. Women suppose that the men will know exactly what they want and expect from them instead of telling men what they want and make things much easier. Such expectation is very detrimental to the relationship because it is an unrealistic expectation that is completely unattainable.

10. Expect to replace a man’s mother

Many women believe that they can somehow replace a man’s mother in every aspect. This is not possible. Mother and wife are two distinct roles and one cannot substitute the other. This has been the persistent cause of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law imbroglio. For peace to reign each must accommodate the other, without anyone trying to usurp the other’s role.

11. Seeking a perfect man

A good majority of women have a checklist of what they want in a man such as that they are going to be caring, smart, funny, handsome, loyal, patient, protective, leading, kind, trustworthy, and a provider, all at the same time. However, searching for the perfect guy might be as easy as passing a cow’s head through a needle. Women know that a perfect man doesn’t exist but for some reason they still subconsciously search for him.

12. Take care of everything

One of the gender roles that men have is the responsibility of taking care of the wives. Some women have this unrealistic expectation, “Protect me and pay for me, but remain my equal and allow me my financial independence.” This expectation puts a lot of pressure on the male population and while for some these qualities are completely attainable, others don’t think so. However, there are things that a man will never want to do or incapable of doing no matter how much you want him to want to do them. You can’t expect man to take care of everything and still regard you as an equal.

13. Expect only the man to correct his flaws

However, none of us are perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. For a cordial relationship each must try to correct their flaws. Expecting that men to correct every flaw in them while the women do nothing about theirs is unrealistic expectation.

14. Masculine yet sensitive

Another expectation that is required in a man is masculinity and strength. The expectation is that he will be the strong, protecting, and assertive. He is supposed to protect and support his family but yet at the same time he has to be sensitive, caring, and good listener at the same time. Some men find the need to be the perfect mix of masculine, sensitive, assertive, passive, confident, courageous, serious and humorous all in one package confusing.

15. Unending romance

Some may think because their romantic relationship doesn't mirror the false expectations they have internalized from fiction, that it isn't a good relationship. He will call me back / text me back because last night we had a great time.

16. I will be happy once I am officially in a relationship

So many men and women fall prey to this unrealistic expectation. If only romantic relationships were enough to make us feel happy and complete. If expectations could play villains, this one would be the most evil and powerful. It is totally understandable to want to believe that finding a relationship will provide you with whatever you’ve been missing, but the truth is that a good relationship will add to – but not complete – your life overall.

17. My partner will spend all his spare time off from work with me

Spending the time after work may sound appealing to some, but having this expectation may lead to frustration later because it is not possible to spend every available spare moment with you. Most women are a bit more lax when it comes to this issue, but others aren’t. Some women hate their boyfriend’s friends. Remember that your new partner will want to spend some time with his own family and friends, and he may like to socialize sometimes on his own.

18. Great physical affection

That you are in a relationship does not guarantee a great physical affection. In terms of sex, you will only have a very sexual relationship if the person you are with is very sexual, too. If sexual affection is your priority, you need to make sure that this is also a priority for your partner because many men and women aren’t extremely affectionate. Though they could hold hands or do regular kisses and hugs regularly, but not so good at sex.

19. Believe it is man’s role to make dates interesting

Many women erroneously believe that men need to make the first move, that men need to do the chasing me because he is a man and men do that. This culture is exactly what leads to women getting spammed by men all the time because if men and women are equally confident about approaching each other then things would be a lot better. Far too many women also believe it’s the man’s job to make initial dates lively, interesting, entertaining, and memorable. The problem with this approach is that many of the women automatically reject seemingly uninteresting but sincere men interested in settling down while trying and failing to convince fun-loving, entertaining womanizers to settle down.

Have you checked if you have some unrealistic expectations from the man in your life?

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    • Chuksm profile imageAUTHOR

      Anthony Modungwo 

      22 months ago from Benin

      Thanks dashingscorpio. Happy New Year. I hope to receive more comments from you. Warmest regards.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      22 months ago

      Great list!

      #3 is probably the one that causes the most problems!

      Many women are fond of taking on "projects" with the hope of molding a man into what they want him to be as opposed to finding a guy who (already is) what they want. Most people want to be loved for who they are!

      I've heard more than one woman proclaim the philosophy of:

      "You have to teach a man how to treat you."

      I tell them if you have teach a man to be kind, considerate, respectful, loving, affectionate, or whatever it means (he) is NOT "the one"!

      Life is too short to be trying to "change water into wine".

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is up to us!

      One man's opinion! :)


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