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3 Clever Ways to Get Over a Married Man

Updated on April 28, 2018


Yaa Gyamera used to be in a relationship with Kofi Agyenkwa, who was married with three children. However, Yaa realized that she could be the cause of the breakup of a home.

“Kofi started having a lot of fights with his wife because of me: he was not spending time at home and he lied to his wife often. There were days when I wondered how I would feel if I were Kofi’s wife. Would I be happy to share my husband with another woman? Would I be happy if another woman tried to take my husband from me? And then I considered the children too. After careful thought, I started feeling guilty for what I was doing to Kofi’s family. I realized that what I was doing could breakup Kofi’s home and so I called it quits. However, I still have feelings for Kofi. He was a very romantic, loving, and caring man and I sometimes feel like starting a relationship with him again. I feel these conflicting emotions sometimes and I want to know how I can get over him so that I will not destroy his marriage. How does one get over a married man? I really want to know before I do something silly that I will regret for the rest of my life,” Yaa says, with a sad look on her face.

If you are also in Yaa’ situation, I want to show you what you can do so that you can get on with your life.

Now, what are the strategies you can use?

Boost The Production Of Dopamine In Your Brain

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that makes one feel excited: it acts on the pleasure center of the brain and makes one feel happy and good, as well as make one feel motivated to go about his or her daily duties with positive thoughts in his or her mind, thereby helping one to deal with pain and disappointment.

When you do things that will help to boost the levels of dopamine in your brain, you will feel happy and upbeat about your situation and that will prevent you from adopting unhealthy ways to deal with the breakup, such as drinking or smoking.

Furthermore, dopamine also helps to push one to do things, as well as help one to stay focused and motivated. Therefore, boosting the production of dopamine in your brain will help to give you the boost you need to focus on your books, if you are a student, or to concentrate on your work, if you are a worker, and that will prevent you from spending hours and days moping about the married man who left you.

So, how can you boost the production of dopamine in your brain?

  • Eat bananas every day. Bananas are rich in tyrosine, which is the amino acid that the neurons of the brain turn into dopamine. So, eating lots of bananas can increase the amount of tyrosine in your body, thereby providing your neurons with lots of raw material that they can use to produce a lot of dopamine. You may choose to eat two servings of bananas after your breakfast, two servings after your lunch, and four servings in the evening after you take your supper. Alternatively, blend a large number of bananas and drink two glasses of the resulting puree in the morning, afternoon, and evening every day.
  • Research suggest that when one does high-intensity exercise for more than 30 minutes, it can lead to a boost in the levels of dopamine in the brain. So, every day, run at a fast pace for one hour before you go to work, walk briskly for one hour in the morning or the evening, or jump a rope at a frantic pace for one hour thirty minutes and you will boost dopamine levels in your body and that will help you to feel good, which will make it easier to forget about the affair quickly.

Write Your Feelings And Thoughts Down

Another way to get over a married man is to write down your feelings and thoughts in your diary or a book which you can call “Rediscovering Myself Book” or “My Moving On Book.”

By doing this exercise often, especially every weekend, you will be able to handle the stress associated with the situation. Additionally, writing your feelings and thoughts down will help you to come to terms with the reality: it will help you to release the negative emotions that will trouble you, as well as help you to focus on now instead of looking to the past.

Now, this is one way you can journal:

  • Create four columns on a page of your journal.
  • Label the first column, “Mistakes I Made,” label the second column “Lessons I Have Learned,” label the third column “Things I Must Do This Week,” and the fourth column “My Vision For My Life.”
  • In the first column, write down 20 memorable mistakes that led to the affair (how you think you got it wrong).
  • In the second column, write down 10 things you learned during the period when you were having the affair and things you can do to avoid those same mistakes in the future. Read this column to yourself often to remind yourself that it is better to find your own man so that you will never make the mistake of entering a relationship with a married man again.
  • In the third column, write down 50 things you will do within the week, especially when you are not occupied. It will help you to keep yourself so busy that you will not have the time to think about the married man, and that will make it easier for you to move on with your life.
  • In the last column, remind yourself of your goals for your life by writing down 10 of the dreams you had. Then, analyze whether you have achieved your goals. If you have, set new goals and start working on achieving them .If you have not achieved your goals, use the opportunity to renew your commitment to achieving your goals. This exercise will give you the motivation you need to press on I life, instead of looking to the past and focusing on the regret of the affair.

See The Breakup As A Blessing In Disguise

Instead of viewing the cup as being half-empty, choose to view the cup as being half-full: look at the bright side of the situation and think to yourself that it will be better for you to find an unmarried man who will give you undivided attention, and who will love you and you alone, instead of remaining attached to a married man.

To be able to feel this way, say words such as these to yourself often, “Yaa, it feels very painful to be rejected by Kofi. However, there are positives I can draw from the whole situation. After all, that relationship was unhealthy, anyway. There was always the stress of trying to keep that relationship a secret from Kofi’s wife. And I worried a lot about what his wife would do to me if she found out about our affair. And there were all those moments when he could not come to my place because he had to spend time with his wife. When I think about it, that guy did not deserve my attention and love. He was just throwing me bits of his emotions and his time and it is good that it has ended. Hah! I am free now to find my own man.”

Speaking positively to yourself will help you to fill your mind with positive thoughts. As a result, you will find it easier to feel positive about the future, and you will also build skills that will help you when you enter another relationship later.


To get over a married man, boost the production of dopamine in your brain, write down your feelings and thoughts into your diary every Saturday or Sunday, and adopt the right attitude to the situation by looking at it from the positive perspective instead of viewing it from the negative perspective and that will make it easier for you to let go of the past and to move on.

How to Get Over a Married Man

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© 2018 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio


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