30 Rules for a Successful Long-term Relationship
The only secret to a successful relationship is to acquire knowledge. The following rules are some of the things you need to know and do.
1. Never ever disrespect your partner's relatives. They mean a lot to them, just as your relatives mean a lot to you. Relate with them in a good way. Bend if you have to, you'll not break. Be accommodating, but never let any of them into your personal affairs--your relationship.
2. The best way to understand a person both sides is through his friends. Be to friend to his friends. Get along with them and you shall discover the hidden secret for making your relationship work.
3. Don't compare your relationship to your friend's relationship. Every relationship, individuals, couples or families are different. You create your own way of love, and then live with it, letting others admire it. Comparing your love life or how your partner treats you and how your friend's partner treats him/her is the first step in making your relationship look worthless.
4. Don’t compare your relationship with your parents. Your parents are in a relationship, and they started from somewhere before they arrive at the impressive stage. Do not expect much at once from your partner. Let him/her learn how to love you as you're learning how to love him/her. Love is a practice, and when that practice becomes regular, perfection is definite. Time proves that!
5. Broadcast your inner thoughts. Although this, when done regularly, can be a bit hectic to some people, communicating your thoughts creates a ground for constant sharing of ideas, which paves a way for intense physical and mental intimacy.
6. Know each other inside out. You cannot KNOW a person without being interested. When I know you I'd know what you want, the time you want it and how you want it to be. And when I do it well, it's a love that cares forever. You let me be a caring lover by allowing me inside my heart. I also let you be a caring lover by allowing you inside my heart.
7. Ask your partner about anything, just anything. This is your partner, a potential person that you may share your whole life with. Knowing what's going on with their lives can help you to decide the kind of life you want to live; either with them or not.
8. Celebrate! Celebrate accomplishments. Celebrate victories. Celebrate anniversaries. Celebrate love. For celebration, even when the victory is for one person, gives meaning to a relationship.
9. Explore each other's values and beliefs. With this, you will discover each other. You'll discover why nature brought you together. You'll understand why you need each other. You'll come to know the value of each other's company.
10. Just like a vehicle. Like a car that needs maintenance, a relationship that lacks maintenance is likely to lose its value. And when value is unrecognizable, purpose remains undiscoverable. Show me a relationship that lacks purpose and I will show you a failing relationship.
11. A matured love is a love that progress from one level to another. This love is a love transpired by trust and faithfulness, not infatuation. When you trust each other, go further. If you don't, go no further. Love grows like grass, gradually but constantly. This growth is achieved constant effort between partners in making it progress from one level to another. You can decide to trust and be successful forever but trust earned through uncompromised faithfulness stands the test of time. Do not make the most important decisions in the infatuation period. Allow your partner to see the less flattering side of your personality, and you should allow yourself to see the less flattering side of your partner. If you still care about that person and even hope for a future, make every effort to make sure your desire is served.
12. Love is not about being in love all the time. Get a life. Get a goal outside relationship intimacy and encourage your partner to do the same. And you shall all have story to tell, a passion to share, and a reason to cuddle. Sometimes you need to be a best friend, sometimes a counsellor, sometimes a mom and sometimes a dad. Love without wisdom kills both the flesh and the spirit. The life you have today is a privilege to live every second to the utmost. Do not limit your career advantages for the sake of love. Success is irreversible, unlike love. Love can happen today and hate might replace it tomorrow. Sacrifice for love but never give your life to it. Set your priorities right and you are going to become even more attractive to your lover.
13. Do not waste your time defining love in words. Spend that time in defining, designing and redesigning your love life. Be attentive to the silent voices of needs in your love life. Face the obvious. Adjust the adjustable. Check out the love book. There are many things to be done as couples, not directly of love but of partnership that will increase the bond between you. It is a place where both of you will enjoy the benefits of being in love. Often time people that love us the most have the most neglected need. They are busy loving us, ignoring what matters in their lives. Our job is to look them in the eyes and understand their silent cries. The pains they try to conceal just because they want us to be comfortable. Our job is to free them from the self-inflicted bondage using the army of love and a strategic empathy.
14. No two people are exactly the same. Accept your differences. Accept to do things alone sometimes. If you can't join your partner doing that thing and it doesn't threaten your relationship, encourage him/her. Male and Female--accept your differences. The most important thing about compatibility is our differences. Just like container and its cover, your pen and its cover; they are different in weight, size and sometimes colour, but they fit each other so well that one is incomplete without the other. Love and relationship is the same. Instead of trying to see the disadvantages of your differences, try to figure out your uniqueness by bringing something new to the table. And being in love is not an employment of a life guardian angel. You must do the most important things alone. Sometimes it is all about you doing that alone and it is totally fine and healthy.
15. Respect and loyalty are the two important attributes that make a trustworthy relationship. Loyalty works 2 sided; Give and get. Respect also works same way. Before you know it, you have a life partner. The process of gaining respect starts from self-respect. Never complain about everything. Be the leader and the parent. Be the problem solver and the peace creator. When the other is conflicted and frustrated, be in the position of calmness. Respect yourself by not dwelling on revenge or complains about the past and by encouraging forgiveness in evident rational agreement. Be loyal to your partner’s needs and wants. Make it feel important to serve their interests even in their absence. This practice when recognized, will lead to same response but with more desire to impress and fulfil happiness.
16. Keep your words. Broken promises stay as a scar in a relationship. Try to have a scar free relationship by promising what you can fulfil. Be honest with your physical and financial abilities. Do not promise what you cannot fulfil. Sometimes life might not offer you what you really expect. In that case, explain to your partner. Never allow them to feel deceived. Let your hands be clean and your heart free from the hurt. Instead of making excessive promises that might overwhelm your relationship, replace everything with relevant surprises. Let them expect something good but not something particular at a particular time.
17. The best gift a man can give to his woman is his LOVE, his TIME, his TRUST, his ATTENTION, and his CARE. The best gift a woman can give to her man is her TIME, her ATTENTION, her RESPECT and her BODY. With this, it’s two together and a love forever.
18. Never ever make your partner feel intimidated by what you have or do. Your job is to make them feel good about themselves being in relationship with you. With that, you're cultivating the positive traits in them, which are the traits you need them to exhibit to support you physically and emotionally. Support them to climb as high as they will ever dream. Be a motivation and the number one reason for their success in life. The stronger you build them when they need to be built, the better they will do in their role as partners in committing the relationship.
19. Decide with them. Decide in love. Decide with your significant other in mind. A partner is a partner. And every decision you make will affect them directly or indirectly. Think about how they feel. Think about the impact of every decision you make on your relationship.
20. Never hesitate to compromise your standards. Your wants and needs are as important as your partner's. Love and you shall receive love in return. Passion breeds passion. Everybody deserves to have working principles to guide his interests and his personality in particular but something might come up in the journey of life that you are required to bend low for the sake of others. When it comes to your significant other, you should be ready to compromise on your principles and philosophies just to see then happy. And when you bend for them to pass through comfortably, extend the time to make sure they are really comfortable.
How does your relationship grow?
21. Improve things that can be improved. Do not manipulate yourself or your partner into doing anything against their will. Talk about your challenges, talk about how to deal with it. Don't talk about the effect, talk about the solution.
22. The first step for creating problems on problems in a relationship is by screaming to your partner in argument. No problem has ever been solved through fighting. Anger is an emotion, and if you can control it, you can solve any problem that comes your way.
23. Problems must come; they're part of the relationship. Expect them but don't believe in them. Develop the will-power--the power to control emotions, not the other way round.
24. Create the Honesty Zone. Do not attract revenge. Attract honesty. When you become dishonest and you're discovered, your partner also becomes dishonest. This happens in a form of revenge due to feelings of frustration as a result of being let down by you, so you don't deserve to be told any truth. Being honest in good or bad makes you worth respect, creating the honesty zone in your relationship.
25. Always tell your partner when something is bothering you. A problem hidden can grow to a height of destruction. But a problem on the table stays no longer than its lifetime.
26. Cooperate. Relationship is the association of 2 people, called partners. Partners are people that cooperate with definite purpose, in harmony and love, aiming for the satisfaction of each party selflessly.
27. Learn to be creative with your partner. There's always something to do and somewhere to go. Don't just depend on happy relationship books to determine your action. Look around you. Be good where you are, and the sun shall discover you and stay still on you.
28. Stand still. Look deep into your love life. Open your eyes to see the best side of your partner. Open it wider to see the weak side. Then stretch your hand to tell them they are amazing. Stop dreaming about love. Feel the love right here. Feel the person showering the love. And you'll be alright!
29. Bedroom creativity is your best friend. Things, no matter how enjoyable they are, can become boring and even annoying overtime. But the world of creativity has no limits. Don't wait for the passion to say goodbye. Make a room for it, a room of creativity, and it shall vow to live forever with you.
30. Being rational does not condemn you from having feelings or emotions. Feel everything you have to feel. Emotions are very important, but in action, act like you've learned something from your past.