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30 Signs That Your Husband's Love For You is Waning

Updated on November 16, 2015

Signs That His Love For You is Diminishing

When a couple gets married it is with the hope that the relationship will last forever. He was supposed to be by your side till death parted the two of you, but lately you wonder if you are spotting signs your husband doesn’t love you. There are typically many signs your husband doesn't love you. The problem is not that there aren't enough signs; the problem is almost always wives not wanting to see and accept them. Some of the signs can be hard to spot, but not all of them. Sometimes signs are merely red flags that there are serious issues that need to be addressed, and sometimes they indicate that your husband is thinking of leaving you. If partners have not kept up with each other, or kept the love alive, the relationship will go into decline. Generally, after some time into a relationship, a couple tends to grow distant; some of them like each other enough to resolve their problems so they can prevent the eventual falling out, while others just grow indifferent towards their partner. This indifference can be the result of him diverting his attention and affection to someone else, or just plain boredom. In any case, you have good reason to worry, and it would be best for you to at least try to set things right before it is too late. It’s hard to know when it’s over sometimes. When you love someone, you cling to hope. Any positive word or thought could mean that there is hope on the horizon. Here's a list signs your husband doesn't love you that are all true.

1.NEW CIRCLE OF FRIENDS

When there was marital bliss you had a circle of friends that you hang out with. But now your husband doesn't want to spend time with them anymore since he has acquired a brand new circle of friends. Even more worrisome is that they are keeping your husband out late at night.

2. HE IS ALWAYS BUSY

Watch out if your husband is constantly busy with new activities or he spends extra hours at work. Many men like to use the pressure of work as an excuse for not being at home but when there is something exciting to go home for, work will give way to desire more often than not. If he’s always at work, it simply means that he might prefer associating with his coworkers than seeing you. If he’s suddenly spending hours more at the office, try to figure out why that is. He might be striving to get a promotion, but there’s also chances are that if he is going home to boredom, nothingness, doom and gloom, blame, no affection or no sex, what's the point in rushing home at all? Many men tend to either become workaholics or use work as an excuse to escape the drabness of their lives and to mask the feelings they no longer experience. That is why it then becomes easier to begin an affair at work without it being noticed initially.

3. HE'S NEVER HOME

He avoids being home as much as possible to evade any interaction with you. And while he doesn't have a minute to spare for you, he has plenty of time for other people. If he doesn't think the relationship is fun and enjoyable anymore, he’s going to spend all his time with other people or spending more and more time with his friends and not invite you. When you try to initiate date nights with your hubby, he is losing interest. Do you know where he goes when he’s not in the house? If he’s always out, but never bothers to tell you where he went, then he’s not communicating with you properly.

4. LACK OF DESIRE TO DISCUSS YOUR DIFFERENCES

Every relationship has to go through its ups and downs. While some couples stay firm even during these trying times and work hard to improve their relationship, some others just take their significant others for granted and tend to grow even more indifferent. If your husband is deliberately avoiding discussing your differences with you rather prefers to spend time with his buddies despite knowing you want his company, then it is a sign that his love for you is declining, slowly and steadily.

5. CHANGING HIS PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

If your husband is suddenly trying to enhance his physical appearance: You might see dramatic changes in hairstyle, hair color and wardrobe. He might also head to the gym to get in shape. Then you should be worried because this is an indication that he might be trying to look good for another woman.

6. YOU FEEL AWFUL AROUND YOUR HUSBAND MOST OF THE TIME

Marrying persons assume the challenge of helping their chosen partners develop in all phases of life. They encourage the potential of their mates. They offer support, agree to care for, and assume the responsibility for helping that person achieve his/her goals in life. As a result, you are supposed to be happy when your husband is around because he is there to take care of you. But when you feel unhappy instead when he is around, it is sign that his love for you is declining.

7. HE DOESN’T CALL REGULARLY OR KEEP IN TOUCH AT ALL

If your husband is on a business trip, and don’t call you regularly, or keep in touch at all. This is a warning sign. You may be missing him and you drop him a message with a simple ‘Hey sweetheart, how are you? I miss you a lot’. You were full of expectation that that he would reply with an equal amount of warmth and affection. But contrary to your expectations, you get a lukewarm ‘I am fine, take care’ after 24 hours, or worse, no reply at all. Well, I hate to break it to you, but this kind of indifference is not just a sign of lazy behavior, but means that your husband does not love you enough to acknowledge your feelings and takes you for granted.

8. HE WON’T COMPROMISE

Marriage is rested daily by the ability to compromise. The truth is that marriage requires investment. When you fight, are you able to come to a compromise? If he’s not willing to budge, but claiming to be right all the time, then it shows that he won’t take your needs into consideration. If you want a healthy relationship, you need to be able to figure things out in a way that will make both of you happy, which means that he must make sacrifice and you too.

9. HE STARTS COMPARING YOU WITH OTHER GIRLS, ESPECIALLY HIS EX

He chose you over other girls who had come into his life before you, so if he now constantly comparing you with other women, this is a major red light. She won't be able to please him anymore because someone is already doing that, hence she becomes a scapegoat instead, primarily to ease his guilt and discomfort. If he compares your characteristic traits, your behavior, or any part of your personality with other women, this could mean he is frustrated with you and may be falling out of love.

10. HE STOPS APPRECIATING AND COMPLIMENTING

One way a wife feels loved is when her husband compliments her. Women just love to hear words that uplift them, such as “I really appreciate how you make our house a home.” When did your husband last pay you a compliment or appreciate something you have done? When he is in love, he makes your life worth living. Once a man starts taking things for granted and stops valuing what his partner does, the interest is going down.

11. HE VERY CLEARLY DON’T TRUST YOU

Trust is very crucial in marriage. It doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about being faithful, sticking to promises, keeping spending within what you can afford, or anything else. Once, it is lacking marital problems is inevitable. He does not share his problems with you, and you get to know about his whereabouts through other people, you have plenty of reasons to worry. If he can’t trust you, you’ll never be happy. A marriage is about trust, yes, but it’s also about honesty. If he’s pushing things from you, your relationship is crumbling.

12. HE DOESN’T ASSIST IN DOMESTIC CHORES

Does he help you out around the house? Each family is unique when it comes to dividing the chores and duties in the home. Depending on your family structure and if you both are working outside the home, the husband might need to do things around the home that weren’t done by husbands in the past. If he doesn’t bother to do some domestic chores like take out the garbage or cut the grass in the garden, to reduce your work, then he may be losing interest in you. He should be willing to help you complete household chores, so that you’re not stuck doing all of the work. If he cared, he’d try to help out every once in a while, even if his contribution is small.

13. HE DOESN’T BOTHER TO COMFORT YOU WHEN YOU ARE FEELING DOWN

Every couple fights and goes through the nastiest of disagreements and arguments, but a stable relationship requires a couple to stay together through hilarious and trying times. Comforting each other when you are in trouble is the least he can do, even if he don’t put a lot of effort to help. But if he has grown indifferent to such an extent that your pains and pleasures no longer matter to him, and it seems as if he is oblivious to your existence, then his love for you is diminishing, if not totally gone.

14. HE DOESN’T REMEMBER YOUR BIRTHDAY, ANNIVERSSARY, FAVORITE COLOR ETC

If your husband who usually is the first to wish you “Happy Birthday” on your birthday; can no longer remember your birthday, something is wrong. Your marriage anniversary means nothing to him, it is a warning sign he is losing interest in the marriage. If after you accused him of giving you nothing for your birthday and he goes out to buy you’re a dress you don’t like the color, it goes to prove he has forgotten you favorite. This is a sign of disinterest in a relationship.

15. HE BELITTLES YOU IN PUBLIC

It is very wrong for a husband to insult his wife in the public. Richard Templar wrote, “Under absolutely no circumstance is it acceptable to:

  • Make your partner look a fool.
  • Put your partner down or belittle them.
  • Be rude to them.
  • Tell jokes at their expense.
  • Discuss their shortcomings.”

Whatever, the mistakes might be, the situation is better addressed in private, and he certainly shouldn’t be discussing them in front of other people. If he insults you publicly, he is telling the world he has no respect for you and this is a sign his love for you is waning.

16. HE PUTS YOU DOWN

What does your husband say about you? He makes fun of you, and not in the playful flirtatious way. A husband who still loves you will not make demeaning and contemptuous remarks about you. Constantly make nasty comment about you is a sure yet passive aggressive way, to tell you doesn’t love you anymore. Coming out straight would be easier than tearing someone down, but it’s a sign it’s done. If he’s always insulting you, and never apologizing, then it’s a clear sign that he’d be happier elsewhere.

17. HE FIGHTS DIRTY

Blames take the place of compliments and loving acts. You can’t talk to them about issues in the relationship without it turning into a huge fight. You stop seeing eye-to-eye, which turns everything into a conflict, and you cease to enjoy connecting with one another. There is a lot of blame and accusations. If you’re constantly fighting, there’s bound to be some harsh words said. However, a marriage is meant to be joyful. If he’s causing you more pain than pleasure, then something is wrong.

18. HE INSISTS YOU MUST CHANGE

Emilie Barnes wrote, “Many people who say ‘I do’ think that after they are married their spouse will change. There is nothing wrong with a positive change, but some changes might be undesirable or not possible. Such issues are supposed to be addressed before marriage not after. Most of the time this doesn’t happen according to our schedules and desires.” When it comes to changes in a spouse, many husbands don’t want to wait. Husbands want their wives to fit their ideas perfection immediately. However, such husbands should take note of this, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4). Openness and intimacy are established only when people can accept their partners are they are.

19. UNINTERESTED IN SEX

If your husband doesn’t want to have sex with you, there’s definitely a problem. A marriage in trouble has a major lack of intimacy. If you do sleep together, sex is a one-way street. You don’t feel emotionally connected. The two of you are not physically affectionate or intimate anymore. He might also start sleeping on the couch. Sexual activities might decline somewhat as people live together longer, but affection usually increases as the relationship becomes deeper. He may still love you, and it could be the person is depressed, stressed, biologically challenged with some issue. If this is the situation, he is supposed to discuss the problem with you if he still loves you.

20. HE IS UNWILLING TO RECIPROCATE WHAT YOU DO FOR HIM

Emilie Barnes wrote, “In marriage we must give to one another our time, our talents, our hearts, ourselves, our love our finances, our gifts, our thoughts, our trust and our fears.” So if you are willing to give to your husband all you have and he is not ready to reciprocate, then his love for you is in decline. Some of the little gifts you could give each other are: notes sent through mail, words of encouragement, books, jewelry, a bouquet of flowers.

21. HE IS EASILY ANNOYED BY YOU

A person often marries someone with a temperament opposite his or her own. One reason God gives us such a partner is to provide us with mates who can be strong where we are weak. But regardless of the good that comes out of temperament differences, dealing with them can be tough. However, if your husband is easily annoyed by everything you do, his interest is waning.

22. HE DOESN’T CARE TO APOLOGIZE WHEN HE IS WRONG

We all fall out from time to time, that’s human nature. If you feel as if your husband has wronged you, address it. If the person won’t apologize, know he doesn’t love you. Saying sorry has many advantages. It diffuses tension, gets rid of bad feelings and clears the air.

23. YOU’RE ALWAYS THE PROBLEM

Whenever you tell your husband how unhappy you are in your marriage and what you need him to change to make it better, he always shifts the conversation around to you are the problem. Myles Munroe wrote, “Blame flourishes where love is absent.” What if you ask your husband to change his attitude and he never does? What if he doesn't seem to hear you, so you ask again and again, even to the point of nagging? What if you plead, but get no response? This is an obvious sign that his love for you has diminished.

24. LESS AFFECTIONATE

They don’t give you little signs of physical affection now and again. He is physically and emotionally distant from you. There is very little affection and virtually no sex. If there is hardly any affection, especially if you desires it and isn't getting much, then the husband is in avoidance. How long has it been since you shared your last enjoyable, memorable, intimate moment? Even if you ignore the lust, there is hardly any emotional intimacy. If you no longer make him smile, then your time might be up. When last were you taken for a romantic weekend together? It will be a matter of time before he seeks it elsewhere.

25. HE DECLINES PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION

If your husband is unwilling to show affection to you in the public, like refusing to hold your hand in public, there is problem. What exactly is he ashamed of now? While he may not be embarrassed to be seen with you in public, he may just simply be disinterested in showering you with love and affection in front of strangers. They act like your pal more than your lover. This is a major warning sign.

26. COMMUNICATION GRADUALLY DRIES UP

Myles Munroe wrote, “The vast majority of marriages that are on the rocks today have run aground, either directly or indirectly, because of the couple’s inability to communicate with each other.” So when your husband ceases to be interested in you one of the worst tasks is to talk to you. He finds that really difficult because there is nothing he really want to say which is positive or endearing. One of the warning signs your husband doesn’t love is when he isn't interested in discussing issues that are affecting your marriage. If he’s given up on the relationship, he may feel it's pointless to argue with you because he is doesn't see himself in the relationship much longer.

27. HE’S LOST THOSE LOVING FEELINGS

When we love someone, we care about them, we accept them, we respect them, we make their needs our priority, and we express our love for them in big and small ways. When he doesn't do this, it means his love for you is waning. Earlier in the marriage, you felt loved and secure in your marriage because of your husband’s words and actions. Now, your husband feels cold and distant instead of the loving partner he once was. You can see in their eyes that he is not innately crazy about you any longer. He makes fun of things that are very important to you.

28. HE CHEATS ON YOU

The issue of fidelity, or loyalty, is central to marriage. When the romantic feelings that are part of marriage disappear, many disillusioned partners quit their marriage. If your husband is going after other women, then his love for you is diminishing if not totally gone. Though some men claim they do it just for a sense of adventure, but this is a red flag that all is not well. Find out what is wrong and address it before it is too late.

29. HE REJECTS YOUR SUGGESTIONS IN THE RUDEST WAY POSSIBLE

If your husband is always finding fault with you in everything you do or say. It seems like in her eyes you can never do anything right. And when you do seem to finally get it 'right,' another thing you don't do right pops up? I am not saying that he has to agree to whatever you say, but there is a certain way to express one’s disagreements. He can disagree with your ideas and still care about having a constructive discussion over the issue at hand. But if he disrespectfully disregards your suggestions, without even taking into consideration your feelings and emotions, then you need to see and accept the signs your husband’s love for you is diminishing.

30. HE IS DISRESPECTFUL TOWARD YOUR FAMILY

Daniel Bagby wrote, “A prevailing mistake among young couples is the belief that the families out of which they come will not affect their future families.” The family you are born into is the source of much love, so the man who loves you must respect that family. If he does not, then his love for you need to be questioned.

CONCLUSION

A relationship consists of four essential things: loving, affirming, conversing and sharing. When they are no longer there, especially when a husband stops doing them, he clearly has lost interest. If your relationship is exhibiting any of the symptoms above, it would be hard for you to digest the fact that your once enjoyable marriage is now on its last leg. But trust me – you should not lose hope. Try making an effort to rekindle the lost passion in your relationship. Talk to your sweetheart and find out what is keeping him away and aloof. Unloving behavior is unloving behavior, and it doesn't matter which partner it comes from. See a marriage counselor if possible. Now you have some idea of things to look for when your relationship is in grave trouble. If you recognize these signs, it’s up to you and your spouse to determine if you want to rekindle the love between you. Another important point is that the signs your husband doesn't love you are not much different as the signs your wife doesn't love you. Best of luck!

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    • Chuksm profile image
      Author

      Anthony Modungwo 21 months ago from Benin

      Thanks dashingscorpio for your comment. You have shown you knowledgeable about relationship and marriage problems in contemporary world. Choosing your partner carefully will reduce the rate of divorces in our society.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 21 months ago

      Excellent article!

      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.

      "If something doesn't feel right to you it's probably not right for you."

      Ignoring "red flags" leads to heartache.

      Some people however would rather "go along" to "get along" as they gradually embrace the state of being unhappy because they fear being alone.

      For them a marriage (in name only) is better than divorce.

      There are a lot of "emotionally divorced" couples!