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4 Clever Ways to Get Over a Relationship That Broke Up

Updated on April 27, 2018

How to Get Over a Relationship

Thinking to yourself that you can enter a better relationship later can help you to get over a relationship
Thinking to yourself that you can enter a better relationship later can help you to get over a relationship | Source

Introduction

Afua Amponsah is a beautiful woman in her mid-twenties and she does not know how to get over a relationship she had with her former boyfriend, Yaw Anane.

“Yaw was such a darling. He was a very romantic man; he cared deeply about me; he was so exciting and he would come up with something interesting every weekend. Life with him was so unpredictable and enthralling. He would take me to parties; we would visit the Mole National Park and go on safaris and see lions and elephants; he took me to the paragliding festival in Kwahu. And he even taught me how to fly planes! It was a lovely relationship. Somewhere along the line, he started spending less and less time with me. I thought it was because he was getting busy at his job. And then he left town for a month. It came as a huge shock when he phoned me one Saturday and informed me that he felt it was time to move on. I tried to find out what I had done wrong, but he never told me. That was three weeks ago. Today, I wake up in the morning and the first thought that comes into my head is to call Yaw. I love him , but he wants me no longer. I wonder how I can live without him. Hmmm! Anyway, I must move on somehow. I want to know how to get over a relationship and move on so that I don’t waste my life thinking about someone who has hurt me so badly? What do I do? How do I behave? What can help me to heal the pain that I feel in my heart? Please tell me how to get over a relationship breakup so that it does not affect the quality of the work I do at the office?” Afua asks, in a sad voice.

Read on and find out how to get over a relationship that ended badly, or that was toxic, so that each day will help you to create memories that will stay in your mind for your whole lifetime.

Swimming Will Help To Make You Feel Relaxed

Exercises such as swimming can help to release chemicals that will dull your pain
Exercises such as swimming can help to release chemicals that will dull your pain

Do Exercises Every Day

To get over a relationship fast, exercise every day. Exercising will trigger the release of “feel good” hormones from your brain, such as dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins, which will make you feel good so that you will not worry unnecessarily about how the relationship ended.

Additionally, these chemicals, which are natural pain killers, will help to dull the pains you may feel in your body as a result of the disappointment.

So, exercise every day. You may choose to run, swim, or walk for 10 miles every day. Additionally, here are is a very easy exercise you can do even in your bedroom when you wake up to help you get over a relationship:

  • Stand in the middle of your bedroom.
  • Take in a deep breath, count up to 5, and then exhale slowly through your mouth.
  • Clap your hands for 5 seconds and laugh. This will help to put you in a good mood.
  • Then, clasp your hands in front of your body.
  • On the count of 5, throw your hands backwards and make sure you keep them at shoulder level.
  • Bring your hands back to the original position.
  • Throw your hands backwards again.
  • Repeat the exercise 20 times.
  • Then, stand in front of your mirror and assume a good posture.
  • Then, make a positive affirmation such as, “I am a great person! I am lovable! I will surely get another person to fall in love with me!”
  • Walk away, return, observe yourself and be happy with yourself.

By making affirmations and admiring how you look, you will send messages to your subconscious that you are still a desirable and pleasant character and that will boost your self-confidence and make it easier for you to get back into the dating space.

Write Your Feelings In Your Journal

Another strategy you can use to get over a relationship completely is to write your feelings down into a diary or a journal. Journaling will help you to defeat negative thoughts such as, “I may never have a relationship again,” or “I may never meet anyone who will treat me the way my ex treated me,” because after writing your feelings down and assessing them, you will see that some of them are just irrational and so you will get rid of them.

Additionally, writing your feelings and thoughts down will help you to release emotional tension and stress and that will make you feel better.

Furthermore, journaling (expressing yourself) will help you to live in the present moment instead of getting stuck in your brain (which is likely to be filled with negative thoughts), and that will help to reduce the feelings of depression you may be experiencing as a result of the breakup.

So, write down exactly how you feel, and put down your thoughts too. This is the way you can do it:

  • Write down 10 things you lost as a result of the relationship. For example, you may not have had time to engage in your hobbies, you may not have had time to see friends, your partner was very controlling and so on.
  • Write down 20 things that were not great about the relationship. In other words, write down 20 problems you faced whilst in the relationship which did not make you enjoy that relationship to the maximum.
  • Write down 20 specific things your ex did which hurt you when you were in the past relationship.
  • Then, ponder over these negative sides of the past relationship and the fact that that relationship which you are so sad about had its flaws and it brought you some miserable moments.

This exercise will make that relationship lose its attractiveness and the intensity of the feelings you may have for your ex will lessen. So, you will find it easier to forget about the relationship because you will feel that, “It was not all that great after all. So, really, I have not lost much. Who knows, I may meet another person with whom I may have a better relationship.”

Look At The Situation From The Standpoint That You Deserve Better Than You Got

Instead of moping and crying over spilt milk, see the breakup as a good thing and not as a bad thing. See it as an opportunity to meet another person who will love you and care for you and understand you better than the man or woman who left you, and who will treat you as a king or a queen.

To help you do that, make positive affirmations such as this one to yourself whenever you start thinking about the dead relationship, “The relationship with Isaac was not the best relationship that I can ever go into. I can enjoy better relationships and I must open up my heart to love so that the pain of the past relationship will lessen. I deserve better. I deserve someone who will stick with me and love me forever. That person is out there and I will look for him. No, I will not live in the past. There are so many great things that can happen in the future and I should not waste my emotions thinking about the past.” This will motivate you to take good care of your appearance and to keep in shape so that you can make yourself attractive to attract a new lover.

Pray

Praying has many psychological and emotional benefits: it will help to inspire hope in you and that will make you look to the future knowing that happier times lie ahead.

Praying also makes one experience peace of mind because when you talk to God and you give your problems to Him, it reminds you that you have shared your situation with Someone who can help you to solve your problem, and that can make one feel calm.

So, every day, say a prayer such as this one, “Dear God, glory be unto Your Holy Name for Your gift of life. I thank You for the numerous blessings that You have so mercifully and graciously bestowed upon me. Thank You, LORD! LORD, I felt my relationship with Isaac would last for eternity, but Isaac jilted me and left me with a broken heart. But Your love is steadfast. Please love me and make me feel loved. You are the God who makes even the sparrow find a home: You make lonely people meet people who will love and care for them. You have numbered all the hairs of my head to show that You love me and You know everything about me. Please help me to forgive him. Please help me to enjoy every day. Please help me to experience joy in my heart. And please help me to find love again. Amen.”

Conclusion

This is how to get over a relationship: exercise every day, express your feelings and thoughts by writing them into your journal, look at the whole situation from a positive perspective, and pray about it every day and you will experience peace.

How to Get Over a Relationship

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© 2018 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio

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    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 

      6 months ago from LOS ANGELES

      Keeping a journal keeps my thoughts in perspective. When I go back and read the things I wrote a few years or a few months back. I am amazed of how much I have grown and evolved as a person. This was a good read.

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