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4 Proven Strategies On How to Get the Truth from a Chronic Liar

Updated on February 16, 2011

Hi, you could liken this to being on the set of pretty little liars TV show

A liar will always be a liar, but do you know that you can make even the worst of all liars sing? I mean tell you the exact tale of all his exploits? Well join me as I treat you to an expose on four proven strategies that even top detectives in the CIA, KGB, MI5 etc and ordinary people like you and I employ to get the truth from die hard criminals, who are hell bent to keep the truth to avoid the full weight of the law: and other chronic liars who will rather keep a lie than tell the truth;

1) Don’t Accuse Your Suspect: If you start by accusing the person of wrong doing it gives the liar the leverage to be more defensive and stick to the lie, making your job to get the truth from him much difficult. For example don’t begin on an accusatory note by asking the lair questions like “why weren’t you there…?” “Did you cheat on me…? Etc Rather it will be more decent to begin with questions like “What time did you get home”? “Who did you say you were with again?” this kind of questioning makes the liar oblivious of the impending danger and also cuts the liar’s defense: since he is cut unawares, you get a straight and truthful answer from him

2) Get Your Body Language Right: one killer strategy that real live heroes and fictional
characters like the legendary 007 James Bond makes use of always to get the truth from their
assailants is looking directly into their eyes. It has been proven overtime that the eye is
the best detective. It not only stays on the conscious, but transcends the sub-conscious by
going deep to search the person’s inner thoughts (please I am not a psychic, and this in not
meta-physics) by laying bare the person’s intentions, actions and in-actions interpreted
through the liar’s own body language: note this, a person guilty naturally will avoid direct
eye contact. Now, this is time to appear relaxed, don’t use threatening body languages like
crossing your arm or standing akimbo, rather make use of non-threatening ones like sitting
relaxed with your head dropped on one side, make use of open gestures, pretend to lean
towards the liar as this makes him believe you are with him and ultimately encourages this
chronic-never-tell-the-truth liar spit out the true facts like it is hot!

3) Ask For a Repeat: saying one thing repeatedly distorts the whole story, making it more
accessible for you to pick the holes and flaws, look I’ve told you this before…” this is how
the typical liar sounds, but subject him to more scrutiny by making him repeat himself over
and over again; ask him if he could spell it out exactly because you’ll like to hear it
again, creating the imbalance in his story needed to nail him. Note this: there is nothing
behind a lie, and it takes someone really good in the art to have concocted a story to go
with it. So expect this liar to furnish you with a set of new information different from the
one he said earlier. To make matters worse for him say something like “…but you said it
was…?” as he tries to cover up he wont know when the truth starts coming out setting a very
dangerous precedence for this chronic liar. This is one strategy I used on my ex-cheating

girl friend to expose her of all her shady dealings.

4) Give this Liar one Last Chance: if the story this liar narrated earlier is what he
decides to stick with, and from all indications you know he is not being truthful, you still
sense dishonesty in his story: this is time to ignore all his shortcomings, begin by saying
some thing like “okay, what shall we do to make sure this doesn’t happen again?” Note: you
are giving this liar the chance to make amends; making him feel more inclined to own up and
accept all mistakes or lies in this case. It also makes the person if he is so used to
telling lies to always tell you the truth, since you’ve won this liar’s confidence; he is
also sure that you will always give him the room to correct his shortcomings and every other
wrong doing.
There are a thousand and one ways to make a liar confess, you can achieve this by torture,
beating, maiming or any other violent way, but making use of this four basic strategies
remains the best way to get the truth from the worst of all liars, get a clue!


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    • profile image

      confused 16 months ago

      im inlove with my friend and he says he is too but I know he single and had a fling with someone but he keeps hiding thing like that from me,it drives me mad

    • profile image

      beautifur 4 years ago

      I can't get police to investigate my kidnapping/sexual torture/stalking{starting@5 yrs. old} because my mother has lied to them. The expensive gifts he tried to send me, mommy dearest stole, ensuring Stockholm syndrome. Please give me some advice. The pedophile remains free to date.

    • chinemeremz profile image

      chinemeremz 5 years ago

      @DDE thanks for your comments.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      liar liar, hmmm interesting Hub thanks for this one.

    • profile image

      matt 5 years ago

      I have tried so hard to get my wife to stop lieng to me but nothin works or I'm to dumb to read it she has already cheated on me once and I'm still trying to get past that but she never tells the truth. I need advice in a bad way all I want is honesty and loyalty but this woman is compulsive with it. I need help she is killing me inside

    • profile image

      cerie 5 years ago

      The guy above ur talkin about sounds like my ex boyfriend shaun or if that's his name, quoted his undying love for me, then walked out 2 months ago no explanations now i get a text now and agin, all crap and lies, found out since that he is a con artist in business ripped people off, he told me he was married and divorced then ad a chhild with spanish girl bit not married, now ive erd that he isarried, hes lied about everything and still is, cant seem to pin him down he only texts neva phones

    • chinemeremz profile image

      chinemeremz 5 years ago

      Hi Jen and I feel really bad that most of the points listed hear cant be of any use to you, however from your tone it shows how deeply you love your husband, but if I were to suggest the best thing to do is stop being suspicious of him.

      Become more loving, when he lies, encourage him by behaving as if you believe him, no matter how trained he is, he is still your husband unless he has lost his conscience, when you act in this manner guilt will take the better part of him even if he were a black ops or samurai, unless maybe he has stopped loving you which I doubt.

      The more he lies, the more you act as if you believe him, the more gullible you are the more guilty he'll be.

      Thanks and good luck.

    • profile image

      Jen in dispair 5 years ago


      My husband is a pathological liar. He is extremely skilled as well as trained (Military & Occupation) in both the arts of lying and covering his lies up.

      Maintaining eye contact or trying to look into his eyes in order to get the truth is honestly of no use at all - even when I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is lying, he never loses eye contact or shows even the slightest hint of emotion. It is almost like looking into black nothingness.

      He is also trained extensively in "reading" body language. Obviously, he is also well trained in the art of hiding or disguising his body language. He is very aware of all the tell-tale signs and is very skilled in the art of deception. In addition to this, he rarely makes a mistake or contradicts himself. He has actually told me the same lies (almost word for word) at various stages over a period of about 8 years.

      I know that he is cheating on me - although he is not having an affair as such, it would appear that he seems to visit either one or two women regularly for sexual gratification purposes. Over the years, he has made the odd reference to this, has an Internet obsession with this and has also made one or two blunders over the years. This is more of a familiarity with related issues rather than any direct statements or contradictions etc.

      I have now been trying to catch him for close to 5 years. I have tried just about everything - spyware, private investigators, tracking devices etc to no avail. Somehow he always manages to cover his tracks.

      Does anyone either know how I can possibly catch him or have any suggestions about how to do this. I know that a good suggestion would be to call it quits. I wish I could!!

    • chinemeremz profile image

      chinemeremz 5 years ago

      Thanks Drattocs for your rather exhaustive comments which I believe was taken out of context which I believe was based on personal experience.

      Though this hub might not have addressed your situation whatever it is based on your assertions, but it is still worth while that some have found this useful in catch 22 situations.

      Thanks all the same for stopping by.

    • profile image

      dracttocs 5 years ago

      no offense,

      but what a bunch of crap

      your lies, or sol called catchin s liar...?

      do you not lie?!

      the only differnece is you

      want o catch "him"

      every single way

      that you say

      you can catch a "liar"

      is female inference

      most men are much more calcualting


      and smooth

      when they deceive

      than you can conceive

      and i have no reason'

      to deceive...

    • chinemeremz profile image

      chinemeremz 6 years ago

      @blueseventy its really nice that these tips could be useful, especially in situations when one person decides to emotionally exploit the other through lies.

      Thanks for the comment

    • profile image

      Blueseventy 6 years ago

      This is really interesting. My ex boyfriend is a pathological liar, but I didn't know that until 15 months after we started dating. I broke up with him for cheating on me. It has been several months since the break up and we haven't talked since because he would continuously lie. I decided to talk to him the other day for closure and he hasn't changed a bit. Maybe your 4 tips will help me out :) thank you

    • profile image

      Chris 6 years ago

      Totally true

    • chinemeremz profile image

      chinemeremz 6 years ago

      Hi Blueeys200, telling lies is second to Human nature, some how we all tell lies in one way or the other.

      But when this becomes so glaring and embarrassing like your own situation with this special person, all you need to do is apply ht last strategy- Give this Liar one Last Chance, make him understand that you know his weakness, and you are ready to help him make amends if he is willing to kick this lying habit and start afresh.

      Every offender loves a second chance, and with the promise of a second chance I believe that he will want to change for the better.

      It is my beleive that this will help, thanks for dropping by~!

    • profile image

      Blueeys200 6 years ago

      I tries these he kept lying wtf do I do ??

    • chinemeremz profile image

      chinemeremz 6 years ago

      Hi pitsy and thanks for the comments, its really unfortunate that you have a person with this instinct to Always tell lies; it is my believe that if you can look at one of these four strategies and try it on him, it might just work. You can never know...

    • profile image

      pitsy 6 years ago

      I have a father in law, that lies and, gossips all the time, we have tried everthing and we are at our wits end help!

    • chinemeremz profile image

      chinemeremz 7 years ago

      Hi toeNails, it is nice knowing how this could be of use to you. Hope you pin her down and others like her. Thanks for stopping by.

      Kris, anger helps your aggressor take advantage of your weak point to even do more harm (more lies). But it is nice knowing that you could use some help from this article. Thanks for stopping by and make sure you pass this tis to others who are in similar situations. You are welcome

    • profile image

      7 years ago

      sometimes it takes another lie to get to the truth ;)

    • profile image

      Kris 7 years ago

      thanks so much! unfortunately the guy i'm in love with is a pathological liar, so this helps me a lot. i tend to always get angry and upset (as i should) but it just makes him clam up even more. great article.

    • profile image

      toenails. 7 years ago

      this is a good article & it really helped me i cant wait to pin down her.

    • chinemeremz profile image

      chinemeremz 9 years ago

      you can add other strategies,

      But I have used all these strategies and it sure worked

      Feel free to tell me what you think