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4 Types of Love

Updated on February 13, 2012

Types? What?

Love is not one and the same. There are different levels. For example, you cannot love your brother like you love your husband. There would be a few issues with that. In the same way, there are different levels of love in a relationship. This hub is to understand how you and your partner fit in which type of love.

Psychologically, there are 4 types. These types are understood by the three key pieces a love relationship needs: passion, friendship, and commitment. These three create the triangle of love. By mixing and matching the three key pieces, we create the 4 types.

  • Infatuation
  • Romantic
  • Consumate
  • Companionate


Infatuation is only one side of the triangle, passion. There is no commitment or friendship involved. This is early in a relationship or in a spouse that is cheating. They only want another type of desire, of interest.

You can tell if you are in an infatuation type of love if you just want to have physical contact with the other person. There is no need for you to hang out with them or with their friends. Why bring him home to meet the parents when you could have passionate sex in the back of his vehicle? There is no being friends, no desire for a future together, just sex.


Romantic love involves both passion and friendship. You enjoy being with them and the sex is great. They are wonderful to you. You two go to the movies, go shopping, play games, do plenty of things together. There are romantic vacations, lovely gifts that make you even more passionate for a time. Tasteful dinners that make you faint from pure bliss.

Most couples believe this is true love. But when they are married and a couple of years goes by, the passion dims into only a friendship. Think of this as the honey-moon stage of a relationship. It can occur frequently. This is a great combination and you should hold onto it as much as you can.


This is true love. Consummate love is the combination of all three key pieces: passion, friendship, and commitment. They are your best friend and you want to stay with them for years to come while you two are only for each other. No cheating, no lieing, just a sweet couple that get along as best as you can. Through the thick and thin, they will make it out as best they can.

If one of the key pieces faults or fails, the relationship will go lower in the scale of the triangle. However, if all three pieces remain strong, they will be the couple everyone will want to be. The two have good personalities that work together to make the best of every situation.


After years of being in romantic or consumate love, the relationship turns into companionate love. Think of an old couple that has been married for 25 or 50 years. The relationship eventually loses the passion and all that is left is commitment and friendship. They have come this far and after all that time together, they just adore each other and know everything about the other.

Some people may think it is horrible being in a relationship without passion. But think of it this way, sex is not everything in a relationship. Sometimes it's just nice knowing they will always be with you when you need them. Don't you wish there was someone you would keep for years to come as your best friend, someone who cares about you? It is extremely rare in this world of divorce and cancer, but companionate love still exists in some areas.


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    • Rev. Akins profile image

      Rev. Akins 5 years ago from Tucson, AZ

      Great hub, I never thought of love in those terms, but it makes a lot of sense now. I really enjoy reading hubs that help me see something new or in a new light. Thanks!

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      Fiddleman 5 years ago

      My wife and I will soon be celebrating our 40th anniversary and your hub is a good assessment of love which is a process in and of itself. Not always easy for husband or wife but the genuine goods will survive a lifetime as intended. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

    • cheatlierepeat profile image

      cheatlierepeat 5 years ago from Canada

      Very much enjoyed. Thanks.

    • profile image

      Sooner28 5 years ago

      Great hub!