- Gender and Relationships»
20 Top Ways for a Wife to Respect Her Husband
Respect is a very important element in a marriage. As a wife desires her husband to show and tell her that he loves her, in the same manner, a man desires that his wife show that he respects him. When a man does not feel respected, he gets angry.
1. Smile when he first comes home from work (or if you do). Ask him how his day went and really pay attention to him when he is speaking.
2. Don’t talk about issues when he is physically exhausted, distracted, sick, hungry or seem overwhelmed.
3. Respect his judgment and decision making abilities
This is listed as the top way to respect husbands in Shaunti Feldhahn book, 'For Women Only.' I believe this is very essential for a man. As women, we often want to control things, do things our way, question and argue about his judgment, think we are better in making decisions. To most men, they see this as disrespectful.
This does not mean that you should respect the decisions he makes without your consent, like major purchases, vacations, job move, gambling, money, disrespect of others, values and whatever he says goes. These things should be discussed openly and honestly. You just to need to provide a place where his views, opinions, needs will be heard, taken seriously and he feels safe to discuss anything. Whether it is about the kids, finances, job etc. Welcome and be open, listen to his input. Even if you don't agree.
Encourage your husband, show trust and faith and in what he thinks and how he makes decisions. If he makes a mistake and is wrong, don't be proud, don't argue and say, ' I told you so' but still support and encourage him because we all human and do make mistakes.
Even ask his input in the small things, like dinner, job, friends, etc.
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4. Respect His ability to figure things out for himself.
Shaunti Feldhahn stated in her research of understanding men, that when women want to stop and ask for directions, men view this as if women don't trust them to find their way along the road. And if they don't trust them in a small matter like this, how can they trust me to provide for the family. So it is probably best, the next time you are with your husband on the road and can't find your way, to let him figure it out.
Some men can also feel a lack of trust and confidence when women fail to trust their ability to fix something, repair or rebuild something or put an electronic item together or when we say we are going to call a professional to do this. Even if we think they are not the fix upper guy, if they want a shot at it, let them do it.
What we can do is, after many attempts of our husbands try to fix something and there is no change, then we can say I think we better call someone to do this.
But if the husbands succeed at this, they feel they have conquered something and it makes them feel alive, excited and affirmed.
5. Encourage him and compliment Him
Husbands love to hear from their wives, I am so proud of you, for (fill in the blanks). Show appreciation for providing, for his intellectual skills, or other skills, his qualities and encourage him in those areas where he does not have faith in himself.
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6. Don’t get frustrated with him when he is having a hard time expressing his feelings well or the way you would or one of your girlfriends. Be understanding that men are very different than women.
7. When he is talking, make eye contact with him. You can be a good listener by expressing your interest in what he is saying.
8. Avoid as much as possible from interrupting him in conversation
9. If your husband wants to talk to you and you are in the middle of something (texting, email, reading a book/magazine, a challenging work project, cleaning, making dinner, buying something in the store or whatever it may be) don’t try to multi-task. STOP.
Just Say to him, “I really want to hear about this, I want to give you my full attention, but I’m in the middle of doing something or in a conversation with so-and-so about (fill in the blanks) If you give me just 5-10 minutes, I’ll be all yours.”
10. Don’t tell him bluntly that he is wrong about such and such. Whatever you are discussing at that time, whether it is about you, the kids, work, politics, etc, do not just come out and say you are wrong.
Here is how to talk to you husband without hurting or offending him- After telling him, “I’m sure you have reasons for thinking this way or /doing this – do you mind if I ask you a few questions to help me understand? This is the concern I have (fill in the blanks)
11. Show respect to him in Public
Do not put him down, criticize him, question his opinions on things in front of a group of people, whether it is relatives, neighbors, friends or even your children. This can be in his presence as well as in his absence. If it's when he is around, and he has difference of opinion with a certain matter, don't disrespect him. If there is something that you disagreed with, tell him later when it is just the two of you all. But in public, be polite,honor him, affirm how great and wonderful he is and so forth.
Maybe you are not aware you are doing this, you may think it’s no big deal, I am just teasing him, he knows I do not mean any harm. But it may doing more damage than you know, especially in the presence of very close friends.
12. Speak good things about your husband - in the presence of family members, girlfriends, colleagues, etc. Don't make feel that he is not capable of doing things, useless, or unwanted.
13. Say, “Thank you!” when he does something for you, regardless of what it is, it can be something small, big or come as surprise. Thank him.
14. If you are supposed to leave at a certain time to go somewhere, whether it is to church,a party, family gathering, spending time with other couples or any another function, be ready to go at that specific time.- That's another way you respect your husband.
15. Ask him for his input, advice about things you are dealing with. This can be something emotionally, something at work or with the kids or just counsel about an issue with a friend.
16. Talk about things he is interested in.- first find out what interests him, whether it is sports, his career, his friends, and have casual conversation about it.
17. Concentrate on hobbies and things he enjoys and do it with him.
If it is bowling, fishing, gardening, hiking, mountain climbing, running, cooking, taking photos, chess or whatever it maybe, this is a great time to spend with your hubby.
18. Keep him up to date with what’s going on presently with the kids – their grades, school functions, sports, conflicts with teachers, any illness, good, cute, smart things your kids have done. Do not be hard on your husband if he may seem disinterested, weary at work, remember to keep him in the know.
19. Constantly tell your children the great, positive things about their dad - as a father, husband, colleague, good neighbor, whatever it may be.
20. Don’t speak harsh or critical words about his family, especially his mother. Manage conversations about his family in the absolute most gentle way, remembering that he loves these people.