5 Big Signs Your Ex Definitely Wants You Back and How You Can Make This Happen

My last relationship breakup was six years ago (I'm married now) and for a long time after the breakup, I knew my ex still loved and wanted me. This gave me some mixed feelings as I also still felt the same way.

However, I questioned the wisdom in both of us getting back together. You see, we'd had the breakup a long time coming and it had taken all of my will power to end the relationship.

While I loved my boyfriend at the time it'd taken me all of two months into the relationship to know we weren't compatible and the relationship was doomed. I got to discover that while he was romantic and also very sweet, my ex also had some anger and money issues; he was very quick to get angry and would get violent when he did.

He also had very 'loose' money values, believing money was meant to be spent and tomorrow would take care of itself.

I questioned the rationale of continuing the relationship and knew it was in my best interest to step out.

This decision was painful. I loved him and so, went through the process of grief our breakup brought.

For a long time, I also knew he wanted us back together and while my heart desperately yearned for and him, my head said otherwise. My head won.

There are subtle or very glaring signs an ex will give to show they want you back. Here are some of the really common ones:

1. They Call You Out of the Blues

Its hard for a person to cut you off completely and just go silent, especially if they still love you.

Sooner or later, they will give in to their desire and call you on phone.

How you should respond in such a situation:

- If you still want him back...
Pick his calls and talk to him. However, you should hold on from professing your feelings, especially as you don't know yet what his Intentions for calling are.

Let him take the lead in the conversation and respond in a similar fashion.

- If you don't want him back...
Do not pick his call. Couples who break up and are trying to move on need some time apart. Picking his calls would be sabotaging your effort to do so.

However, you should be prepared to receive a few more calls; stand your ground even if this happens and soon he'll get the message and stop calling.

2. He Reaches Out to You on Social Media

Your ex might drop a message for you on any of the social media platforms, or be subtle in his approach and like a comment or picture you upload.

Now, in an era where people are quick to cut ties with their exes just days after the breakup, it tells a lot he still keeps the line of communication to you open.

How you should respond in such a situation:

- If you still want him back...
You should acknowledge his greeting or like on your picture by thanking him and then go ahead to ask about his wellbeing.

- If you don't want him back...
Make your response brief, but firm so he gets the message that while, you're open to remaining friends, you aren't looking to entertain a reunion.

3. You Start to Get a Lot of Calls from an Unknown Number

I have seen a case where a girl still in love with her ex, took to calling him with an unknown number as she was unsure of what his reception to her might be.

Your ex might also decide to take this route, but you'd never be sure of it unless you have the Caller ID app installed.

How to respond in such a situation:

- If you still want him back...
Never let on you know who's calling as this might embarrass him if he meant to stay unknown. You might want to try keeping a friendly tone though.

You should also be prepared to possibly receive a few dropped calls or for the caller to remain silent at the other hand. If this happens, try not to get or show your frustrations.

Keep a friendly tone while you encourage the speaker to talk.

- If you don't want him back
Ignore the call and hope he gets the message.

4. He Asks About You
Your ex might also ask your mutual friends about you and words will get to you.

How to respond in such a situation:

- If you still want him back...
Show your excitement at being asked about and let your friends see this. You could also go a step further to ask about him too so he knows you're also thinking about him.

- If you don't want him back...
Politely dissuade your friends from talking about him. Words will get back to him and he'll know to stop asking about you.

5. He Talks About You All the Time
Your ex will also talk about you all the time to anyone who cares to listen (and even those who don't).

Again, words will get back to you and well-meaning friends might even try to get you back together.

How to respond in such a situation:

- If you want him back...
Let your body language show you are down with being gotten back together with your ex.

You can also take it a step further by reaching out to him through a call to ask after his wellbeing.

- If you don't want him back...
Ignore the news when it gets to you and it will stop after a while.

6. You Start to Bump into Him Often

You will start to bump into him often at places. If this happen, it could mean either of two things: the meetings are purely coincidental (which is unlikely) or your ex is making the very conscious effort to see you at these places.

How to respond in such a situation:

- If you still want him back...
Respond positively when you meet with your body language telling him exactly how you feel. Be friendly and let him know you're still into him.

- If you don't want him back...
Be friendly, but let him know by your subtle actions you have moved on and aren't entertaining thoughts of a reunion.