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5 Big Signs Your Ex Definitely Wants You Back and How You Can Make This Happen

Updated on March 28, 2020
Isivwe Muobo profile image

Farrah is a writer who has written several published and unpublished works. She loves writing romance fiction and horror stories.

Your Ex Will Always Give Some Signs If They Want You Back...

My last relationship breakup was six years ago (I'm married now) and for a long time after the breakup, I knew my ex still loved and wanted me. This gave me some mixed feelings as I also still felt the same way.

However, I questioned the wisdom in both of us getting back together. You see, we'd had the breakup a long time coming and it had taken all of my will power to end the relationship.

While I loved my boyfriend at the time it'd taken me all of two months into the relationship to know we weren't compatible and the relationship was doomed. I got to discover that while he was romantic and also very sweet, my ex also had some anger and money issues; he was very quick to get angry and would get violent when he did.

He also had very 'loose' money values, believing money was meant to be spent and tomorrow would take care of itself.

I questioned the rationale of continuing the relationship and knew it was in my best interest to step out.

This decision was painful. I loved him and so, went through the process of grief our breakup brought.

For a long time, I also knew he wanted us back together and while my heart desperately yearned for and him, my head said otherwise. My head won.

Knowing what Your Ex Wants...

Will help you know if you should stay and fight for your relationship or move on.

Here's How I Knew My Ex Wanted Us Back Together

There are subtle or very glaring signs an ex will give to show they want you back. Here are some of the really common ones:

1. They Call You Out of the Blues

Its hard for a person to cut you off completely and just go silent, especially if they still love you.

Sooner or later, they will give in to their desire and call you on phone.

How you should respond in such a situation:

- If you still want him back...
Pick his calls and talk to him. However, you should hold on from professing your feelings, especially as you don't know yet what his Intentions for calling are.

Let him take the lead in the conversation and respond in a similar fashion.

- If you don't want him back...
Do not pick his call. Couples who break up and are trying to move on need some time apart. Picking his calls would be sabotaging your effort to do so.

However, you should be prepared to receive a few more calls; stand your ground even if this happens and soon he'll get the message and stop calling.

2. He Reaches Out to You on Social Media

Your ex might drop a message for you on any of the social media platforms, or be subtle in his approach and like a comment or picture you upload.

Now, in an era where people are quick to cut ties with their exes just days after the breakup, it tells a lot he still keeps the line of communication to you open.

How you should respond in such a situation:

- If you still want him back...
You should acknowledge his greeting or like on your picture by thanking him and then go ahead to ask about his wellbeing.

- If you don't want him back...
Make your response brief, but firm so he gets the message that while, you're open to remaining friends, you aren't looking to entertain a reunion.

More Signs He Wants You Back...

3. You Start to Get a Lot of Calls from an Unknown Number

I have seen a case where a girl still in love with her ex, took to calling him with an unknown number as she was unsure of what his reception to her might be.

Your ex might also decide to take this route, but you'd never be sure of it unless you have the Caller ID app installed.

How to respond in such a situation:

- If you still want him back...
Never let on you know who's calling as this might embarrass him if he meant to stay unknown. You might want to try keeping a friendly tone though.

You should also be prepared to possibly receive a few dropped calls or for the caller to remain silent at the other hand. If this happens, try not to get or show your frustrations.

Keep a friendly tone while you encourage the speaker to talk.

- If you don't want him back
Ignore the call and hope he gets the message.

4. He Asks About You
Your ex might also ask your mutual friends about you and words will get to you.

How to respond in such a situation:

- If you still want him back...
Show your excitement at being asked about and let your friends see this. You could also go a step further to ask about him too so he knows you're also thinking about him.

- If you don't want him back...
Politely dissuade your friends from talking about him. Words will get back to him and he'll know to stop asking about you.

5. He Talks About You All the Time
Your ex will also talk about you all the time to anyone who cares to listen (and even those who don't).

Again, words will get back to you and well-meaning friends might even try to get you back together.

How to respond in such a situation:

- If you want him back...
Let your body language show you are down with being gotten back together with your ex.

You can also take it a step further by reaching out to him through a call to ask after his wellbeing.

- If you don't want him back...
Ignore the news when it gets to you and it will stop after a while.

6. You Start to Bump into Him Often

You will start to bump into him often at places. If this happen, it could mean either of two things: the meetings are purely coincidental (which is unlikely) or your ex is making the very conscious effort to see you at these places.

How to respond in such a situation:

- If you still want him back...
Respond positively when you meet with your body language telling him exactly how you feel. Be friendly and let him know you're still into him.

- If you don't want him back...
Be friendly, but let him know by your subtle actions you have moved on and aren't entertaining thoughts of a reunion.


This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Farrah Young

Comments

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    • Isivwe Muobo profile imageAUTHOR

      Farrah Young 

      16 months ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      *Eight weeks into the relationship, I mean

    • Isivwe Muobo profile imageAUTHOR

      Farrah Young 

      16 months ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      dashingscorpio

      You have a point in that just eight weeks into the marriage should still have been the "watching" phase where both parties study each other to determine if they're compatible or not.

      This will enable them move on faster if real feelings are not committed yet.

      As to going back to an ex, I believe it's a matter of choice. People don't always stay the same and even month could bring about a lot of change.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      16 months ago from Chicago

      "While I loved my boyfriend at the time it'd taken me all of two months into the relationship to know we weren't compatible and the relationship was doomed." This is the "infatuation phase".

      A very common problem with dating/courtship these days is people choose to "commit" or become "exclusive" with someone without having taken the time to determine if he/she is really their type.

      With only eight weeks of dating this probably should not have been an 'exclusive relationship" to begin with. You should have kept your options by dating other guys until you knew he was "right' for you.

      Women also need to understand some men love to get laid and calling an ex is often an ego exercise to see if she's still into him.

      In the words of one old hit R&B song:

      "Once I've been there I can always get back on in."

      Having a little flirtatious banter with an ex is an ego boost for a lot of people. Not every ex who contacts you wants to really get back together. Deep down most people want confirmation that they are attractive to (other people) outside of their relationship/marriage.

      If your ex is in a relationship/marriage but is willing to "secretly" stay in contact with you then you've already won. Keeping secret friends from one's mate is the first step towards emotionally cheating.

      Aside from the ego stroke or sex there are instances where one of the people does want to get back together. However if neither person has made in a (major) changes then getting back together would be the equivalent going to see a movie a second time and expecting a different ending. Truth be told so many find breaking up and getting back together to be the most romantic love story.

      An opportunity to get back with a high school/college sweetheart appeals to a lot of people. They think it means they're "soulmates" because (they found their way back to each other).

      It's really just the power of the Internet. You can find anyone!

      In truth they're wearing "rose tinted glasses" and having "selective" memories of how good things were and not remembering why they broke up or how unhappy they were near the end. If things had been so great you never would have left.

      It's important not to "romanticize the past". Instead act as if you just met this person and based upon how they are today determine if they meet your (current) mate selection criteria.

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