5 Easy Ways to Get Over Someone You Loved
5 Easy Ways to Get Over Someone
Adwoa Frimpomaa has recently broken up with her boyfriend and she is finding it very difficult to move on. “I loved Yaw very deeply and so the breakup has hurt me so badly. I feel pains in my body sometimes. I think about him when I am alone in the house, and when I am in the office. So I sometimes feign sickness so that I can avoid going to work because I feel very sad. I know I can’t continue this way forever, but I am finding it difficult to reconcile with my new circumstances. I want to know how to get over someone you loved, but who no longer has feelings for you, and how you can enjoy your existence again? How do I find meaning in life again when my heart is so broken? How do you get over someone you broke up with so that you can focus on your life and find happiness in what you are doing? I am really hurting and I would appreciate it if someone can help me,” Adwoa says, with tears streaming down her cheeks.
If you are also going through what Adwoa is going through, then read on because in this article, I want to share with you how to get over someone fast so that you can enjoy your life again.
These are some of the things you must do.
Eat Well And Get Enough Sleep
You may be so disappointed that you may not take your nutrition seriously, or you may choose to spend time thinking about the lost relationship when you are in bed instead of sleeping, and that can affect your productivity in school or at work.
However, if you want to get over someone and move on, this is the time when you must make sure you eat properly and get enough sleep. And I have a spiritual example to back this: in 1 Kings 19 when Elijah was so disappointed and discouraged, and when his self-esteem hit a low because Jezebel was after his life, and after he had prayed to God to take his life, God told him to eat and sleep. That gave him strength and he was able to continue his journey.
In just the same way, you will also get physical strength to continue your journey of life if you make sure that you enjoy your favorite foods at this time, or if you try your hands at cooking some exotic foods. Doing these things will give you pleasure and that will help you to have a sense of wellbeing, which will make it easier for you to focus on your life and go about your duties with happiness in your heart so that you will not worry on what happened between your ex and yourself.
So, try to mindfully consume your favorite foods (concentrate on the aroma of the food, the color, and the taste when you are eating it), or try your hands at cooking fufu.
You may also consider eating a handful of pumpkin seeds an hour or two before you sleep every evening because pumpkin seeds are very rich in tryptophan which is a precursor (a substance that your body uses to produce another substance) for the production of the “happiness hormone” serotonin. Eating pumpkin seeds often will make your body produce a lot of serotonin which will make you feel happy and motivated to go about your duties the next day mindfully, thereby increasing the chances that you will not spend a minute to think about the past affair. Additionally, tryptophan helps one to feel sleepy and so eating the pumpkin seeds one hour or two hours before you lie down will help you to sleep better.
Remind Yourself Of How Great You Are
A breakup in a romantic relationship can leave you with a shattered self-esteem, and a warped sense of who you are: you may feel that you are not worthy to be loved and adored by another man or woman, or you may feel that you have been disgraced, which may make you devalue who you are. Additionally, it may leave you feeling very negative about yourself and thinking you are a terrible person.
So, remind yourself of the fact that you are an adorable, lovely person who broke up not because you cannot hold a relationship together or you cannot please a partner, but because things happen in this world sometimes which make us lose certain things. This will reduce the likelihood that you will feel depressed.
So, how can you do this?
- Write down 10 of your strongest qualities.
- Write down 10 generous things you have done for others in the past month and the good things they said about your act of generosity.
- List 20 good things people have said about your character and the way you relate to people.
- Read the lists aloud and record them on your smart phone, or let a close friend or relative video you saying these positive things.
- Then, as you go about your daily duties, as you do household chores, when you are unoccupied and you are tempted to think about the dead affair, as you sit in the bus taking you to work, as you eat during lunch break at the office, or when you feel lonely, play the audio to yourself or watch the video. It will remind you of the fact that you have unique gifts from God, gifts that no-one else on Earth has, and that can make you feel that you are a special person.
- Additionally, reminding yourself of your generosity and how some people feel about you will help to remind you that if one person does not appreciate you, there are many other people in this world who appreciate you, and that will make it easier for you to feel that you will meet another person who will appreciate you and love you for who you are. This can help to boost your self-confidence and make you look forward to create new experiences instead of living the past.
A Maturing Curve
Start A Friendship With Another Person Within Two Months
To get over someone and stop thinking about them, start flirting a few weeks after the breakup: a study carried out by City University of New York and the University of Illinois has revealed that when a man or a woman enters another romantic relationship soon after a breakup, he or she becomes very happy and he or she can have a very healthy relationship.
Starting a new relationship will:
- help to make you feel that you are desirable, and that will help boost your self-confidence;
- furthermore, it will make you put closure to the former relationship quickly: once you start investing your emotions in another person, you will find it easier to resolve the feelings you had for your ex;
- additionally, as you go through the process of dating the new person, as you talk to him or her and spend time with them, your focus will shift from the past to the future and you will look to the future with hope and expectation, which will make it easier for you to forget what happened between you and your ex.
- So, instead of sitting at home reminiscing about the wonderful moments you spent with him or her, or instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, make moves to meet another man or woman: join Facebook dating groups, start a profile on Tinder, Math.com or another other dating website of your choice, or deliberately let guys or ladies in your workplace, your class, or your neighborhood know that you are available for a relationship.
Look At Moving On As An Opportunity To Make You Mature
Choose to see the process of moving on as a journey which will help you to mature as a person and which will help you to build your capacity to handle disappointments so that you can face and deal with disappointments and failures that you will face in the future, and not as something that is going to make life harder for you.
To do this effectively, make affirmations such as this one to yourself often, “I admit that this breakup has really hurt me. And I know it’s going to be tough to adjust to my new situation. But there are many positive sides to this bad situation; it will teach me to control myself when I feel angry and that will help me to be a better lover when I meet some later; it will teach me to forgive and I will find it easier to forgive my new lover when he or she hurts me; I can learn to cope with shame and when my new lover finds himself in an embarrassing situation, I can understand and give good emotional support. So, I will go through it, although it hurts so bad. It will help me to add value to myself as a lover. So, there is a positive side to this terrible situation after all!”
Do What You Think Will Help
Brainstorm and try to come up with personal strategies to handle the situation. When you back this up by expecting the ideas you generate to help you get over someone, chances are that you will find it easier to get over him or her: a study carried out at the University of Colorado and published in the Journal of Neuroscience suggests that this can help you to feel better. It will help to release brain chemicals that will boost you mood and help you to feel great.
To get over someone, make sure you eat and sleep well, reinforce the fact that you are a worthy, lovable person, start a new relationship as quickly as possible, focus on the lessons you can learn from the breakup, and generate your own ideas and implement them.