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5 Signs He's a Mama's Boy

Updated on August 25, 2009

Alright, before I get into this one, let me be clear: It's ok to love your mama, and it's ok to have a good relationship with her. If, however, you're the type of man who doesn't realize the umbilical cord went missing a few decades ago -- you're not the type of man most women want to be with. I've dated two of you, and that about fills my quota for the next 4 lifetimes.

So. Ladies. If you think you're dating a mama's boy, take a look at this list. As with anything, there will be exceptions to every rule. Nevertheless, if he's got more than one of these things going on, you might want to pick up some pampers the next time you cruise Walmart. Of course, you might *want* to be dating a mama's boy. If that's the case, more power to you. In fact, please marry him asap, so the rest of us aren't at risk for dating him in the future!

He calls his mother every day.

Yes. Some men do this. I dated someone who did this CONSTANTLY. Note, I did not say his mother calls *him* every day -- that's different. That's more her issue than his. But if your man is doing the calling, something is wrong with him. Run away.

He goes on week-long holidays with her -- two or more times a year.

Again, I have dated someone who did this. He would run off to some foreign island with his mum, just the two of them -- it wasn't a family thing -- and spend 2 weeks (or whatever) with her. At least twice a year. He was 34 at the time. If you think this is normal behavior for an adult male.... well, all I can say is give me the abnormal guy any day of the week.

He buys something for her every time you go shopping.

Oh, mummy would love this, don't you think? Hmm. Don't I think? I think you have a serious Oedipus thing going on, mister. Why else would you stop to look at diamond rings and think of HER instead of ME? Pfffft.

He goes to the spa with her.

I'm sorry, but this is something I find extremely unnatural, no matter how posh you might be. If your man is hanging out in the sauna with his mummy every month, there is something truly bizarre about that.

He wears, eats, and does whatever she tells him to do.

This is the most obvious, but I saved it for last because the others are just as significant. If he only wears the clothes she buys for him, or only travels to places she recommends, or only dates who she approves of -- you are dating a mama's boy!


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