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5 Signs He's a Psychopath

Updated on August 5, 2011

Before I begin I'd like to point out that many MHMR professionals do not differentiate between the terms 'psychopath' and 'sociopath'. Some do, however, and I've always considered sociopaths to be a bit more polished than the average psychopath, with more control over his impulses and behaviors. You can label them however you'd wish, I am simply making this statement now so that the reader will understand there is little difference between the two, if any, and any man with these symptoms is a bad seed, regardless of how you choose to categorize him. If you have been duped into falling in love with one of these men, extricate yourself from the relationship as quickly as possible!

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1. He can't control his bad impulses.

We've all got bad impulses, haven't we? I know I do and I'm sure you have as well. But the difference between you, me and the average psychopath / sociopath, is that you and I wouldn't actually act out the urge to slap that high school teacher who embarrassed us in class. Johnny Psychopath probably wouldn't, either, but he's quite likely to plot revenge and traumatize that teacher in a dark alley when there are fewer witnesses around. Another example? You and I wouldn't steal someone's possessions simply because we were angry at them. J. Psychopath would, and even if he did regret it afterward, he would quickly get over the guilt and find a way to blame someone else for his behavior.

2. He's absolutely obsessed with intimacy

And when I say intimacy, I'm not talking about cuddling and holding hands. These guys have really obsessive thought patterns that seem to stay focused on their boudoir needs. Many will bluntly demand it, the same way a cop might demand your license when he pulls you over, and if you're not receptive in that moment, a tirade will be unleashed. And each time the reaction will get worse and worse, as you try to figure out how it is that any adult male can be so abnormally adjusted from a social perspective. Guess what! It's cos he's a SOCIOPATH! Don't expect this to get better, because whether he gets his own way or not, the demands and unreasonable behavior will snowball into bigger and bigger drama.

3. He lies and doesn't care at all when you catch him

Most of us try not to lie unless it's absolutely necessary, and hopefully only to spare one's feelings, but a psychopath will lie all the time. This is partly because he enjoys it, and partly because he lies so often that he doesn't know what's true anymore. A psychopath will give you 3 different answers to the same question in a 5 minute time-frame if you give him the chance. And when you point out that he has lied, he will just shrug it off and tell you that you misunderstood his answer, or he misunderstood your question. And if you catch him in a lie that cannot be passed off as such, he will smile coyly and compliment you on your cleverness, as though this is some sort of consolation.

4. He's very charming and can control himself when he wants to

A psychopath/sociopath actually can behave like a normal person when it serves their best interests. But one of the things that gives this guy away is his reaction the moment he's out of earshot or sight. For example, let's say his colleague has just screwed him in some business deal. Johnny P. will take it like a professional, control his temper and look absolutely normal when he leaves the office. But when he gets home to you, he will find some way to blame you for this experience, even if it means citing something you did 10 years prior. He has NO qualms about behaving badly with you, and this is because he knows he's talented enough to manipulate you into doing anything he wants, including forgiving him.

5. He often seems as though he's in a state of withdrawal

A psychopath who has a tendency to worry and be highly agitated about something (yes some of them are capable of these emotions) will often look as though they are on the verge of a meltdown or going through a physical type of withdrawal. They may even be in a constant state of panic, apart from when they are drunk or otherwise indisposed. This guy is always on the edge and this is part of why he's always looking for some external influence to calm him down. If your man makes you nervous because you're never quite sure what might set him off, you are probably with a psychopath. And before you blame it all on alcohol or addiction, there's no reason he can't be both an addict and a psychopath!

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