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5 Signs Your Marriage Is Boring and How to Spruce It Up

Updated on July 21, 2018
clivewilliams profile image

Happily Married and Giving great advice to married and single people.

Spruce up Your Marriage
Spruce up Your Marriage

Isn't it sweet when marriage is fresh, young and full of I love you's and good morning and see you later kisses? Isn't it wonderful when you simply can't stop looking at your ring and still wondering if your new fairy tale is real? You dash and splash in that happily ever after moment just like a teenagers first love. When marriage is fresh, it is spontaneous, exciting, love is at an epiphany and the thought of togetherness is alike a television ad just replaying subconsciously in your mind day after day. But what happens when the marriage gets aged? What happens when the 'see you later honey' kisses dwindle and just become a mirage like a peasant discovering a water well in the middle of the driest desert. What happens when rings rarely meet and all that is left is disparity and boredom? Well, that indicates that it is time for the fire of love to be rekindled. It is time for your marriage to be spruced up. It is time to pump new life in your marriage. It is time to re-marry and exchange vows once again.

Rekindle The Love
Rekindle The Love

Signs of a Boring Marriage

1. Communication Dwindles

One element which is always needed for any relationship to work is effective communication. Effective communication in marriage is when both husband and wife speaks at their turn and both parties not just hears what is being said, but listens, comprehends and provides valid inputs within the conversation. When the home gets too silent, you can be sure that nothing exciting is going on between husband and wife and this inevitable leads to boring marriage.

2. Books in Bed

Your bedroom was made for a lot of things, sleeping, relaxing, talking privately, making love etc. One thing the bedroom was not made to do was become the library. Constant daily book reading in the bedroom night in and night out directly indicates that there is nothing much happening in that marriage. Couples must remember that the bedroom is not a library and be careful of stacking walls of books on their beds and literally creating a wall of separation in the room.

3. Your Neighbor is Your Entertainment

When marriage becomes stagnant, the couple finds other interest such as watching their neighbors every move. When the husband or wife comes home from work, the first thing which comes up on the plate is what their neighbors did today. You begin to discuss and find much more interest in your neighbors life than your marriage.

4. Sex Life, What Sex Life?

This begins to disappear right before your very eyes. First you were doing it like rabbits, then you began to do it like dogs, then you did it like old people, now you do it like corpses. Sex is essential in keeping the fire in any relationship, once the fires blows out and your marriage becomes cold like the North Pole, boredom and frustration will kick in.

5. Separate Entertainment

I agree that everybody will need their own space every now and then. But when you are married and when it is time to go out you both go separate ways, you have a big problem. The problem is even though you may go out with friends or family and have fun, the fun is not within the marriage. Husband and wife will entertain separately, but must entertain each other much more if they want to keep a jubilant marriage.

Spruce up your Marriage
Spruce up your Marriage

How To Spruce Up Your Marriage

1. Communicate

You simply must do this to allow your marriage to have some kind of fluff or substance. Talk to each other about work, a TV show, politics, love, rubbish, just about anything which allows you both to understand what is happening to each other on a daily basis. Communicating gets both parties involved in anything which matters within the Union.

2. Move The Library out the Bedroom

There is nothing wrong in reading a book or two in the bedroom. But the book reading should never become the norm until it replaces intimacy with old pages and sad stories. Make your bedroom become the vessel it was intentionally made for, a sanctuary of love and closeness between husband and wife.

3. Entertain Each Other

This doesn't necessarily mean that you have to go out to a fancy restaurant and rack up a hefty bill after your teeth has waved the white flag trying to chew the so called tender loins. You can entertain each other by doing simple things together. You can walk, jog, go hiking, party or simply find a hobby that both of you will like and spend time together doing that hobby. And on the much softer side, you can entertain each other by just holding each other and showing gentle love and affection.

4. Renew Your Vows

Renewal of vows is quite a romantic venture. It makes you aromatically remember the day you first married and brings back that whole new feeling of love and marriage. It is like things are happening for the first time. It brings a new kindle to love. It brings back old memories, it brings back something special to your marriage.

5. Go on Vacations

It is always good for husband and wife to vacate and leave all the troubles of the world behind them. A vacation is relaxing, it is fun and it can be quite personal. It allows for husband and wife bonding in more ways than one. It allows a renew appreciation for each other especially when you see all the other wonderful couples also enjoying themselves.

Conclusion

Many husbands and wives will mistake a boring marriage for cheating, when in fact their marriage has simply become stale and just needs a jolt of energy to get going just like a battery which was run down because the lights were left on. People get tired, they stay committed but they get tired. After years of routine marriage neglect it becomes the norm and no partner is able to see that they have a dwindling marriage until it simply becomes too late. Pay attention to your husband, pay attention to your wife, and pay attention to your marriage.

© 2018 Clive Williams

Comments

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    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      16 months ago from Jamaica

      Well Rinita, Books can be good, but they should not turn the love room in the home library.

    • Senoritaa profile image

      Rinita Sen 

      16 months ago

      Sound advice, Clive. I agree on all the points except the books in bedroom part. We enjoy lying side by side propped up on pillows with a book each. Sometimes we would stop and share some amusing paragraph either of us just read. We do this regularly, and it helps us connect, also making for great conversations later, which takes care of the communication aspect as well.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      16 months ago from USA

      It takes two people to make a relationship boring. You can only control one of them — yourself.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      16 months ago from Jamaica

      She has the streak of romance Eric. Great catch.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      16 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Clive we have a weird one here. I love to say "love you". She does not and proclaims "I do not need to say it". After about 8 years it became endearing. She loves a one armed hug and kiss on her head as she is a good foot different in height. Marriage is awesome, especially with our boy.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      16 months ago from Jamaica

      hey dashing...Sometimes it is not said. But as they say, action speaks louder than words. Couples don't have to say lets stop having sex to not being interested in each other sexually again.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      16 months ago

      Never have I heard of a couple who woke up one morning, looked at each other, and {said together}: "Lets stop having sex!"

      Generally what happens is (one person) makes his or herself less available and their mate eventually stops trying to keep the magic alive by themselves. While (one person) may view the marriage as being "stale" the other person is likely content with how things are. Most likely someone is having things go their way.

      Commitment for some people means they can stop doing all the things that caused their mate to fall in love without the fear of them leaving. That's their definition of relationship security.

      Generally speaking it's not until someone cheats or tells the other they want out that the "content person" suddenly has a renewed interest to "save the marriage" by restoring the romance.

      It's easier to maintain a fire than it is to reignite a spark!

      Marriage is like a garden: Nurture it, it thrives; Neglect it, it dies.

      The only secret to keeping the romance and passion alive in a marriage is to have (both people) make it a priority!

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