- Gender and Relationships»
5 Simple Ways to Make Your Wife Feel Loved
1. Tell Her She is Beautiful (Words of Affirmation)
A woman needs to hear that she is pretty, beautiful, cute, gorgeous... etc. There's something about the way we are wired that just makes us feel special when we hear these words. Of course, there are other words we like to hear, too. Telling your girl she's smart, wise, talented, and so on, is also a blessing to hear. Basically, anything you can compliment her on will really make her feel amazing!
It has to be genuine, though. We can tell when you're just blowing smoke! If your wife or girlfriend is looking pretty, tell her so. If she's dressed up to go somewhere and she looks nice, tell her! If she asks you "Do I look okay?" that is code for "I'm feeling insecure, or unsure... or I just want to hear you say I'm pretty!" So don't just say, "Yes, you look fine," or "Yeah, you look great (while looking down at your phone and not paying attention)". Going the extra mile to compliment her will really make her feel special and give her that boost of confidence she needs. Say, "Yes, darling, you look amazing!" Or, if she just woke up and has no make-up on, and she thinks she looks horrifying, but you think she's the best thing that ever happened to you, and the most beautiful creature on earth.... say so! She will (probably) vehemently disagree with you, but it'll still make her feel wonderful to know that you think she's pretty without a lick of makeup on!
2. Cook Her Dinner (Serve Her!)
Nothing says "I love you" like a home-cooked meal waiting for you when you get home from work (or anytime, really). When we were first married, I got a new job. My husband was also working, but he got home a few hours before me. While I was driving in bumper to bumper traffic, my husband was home (unbeknownst to me) cooking a wonderful spaghetti and sausage dinner for us. The food was ready when I walked in the door, complete with bread and salad. I was so surprised and pleased! Surprising your spouse with a thoughtful gesture like this really goes a long way to show her how much you care.
Note About Flowers
Obviously, if your wife hates flowers for some inexplicable reason (maybe she says they just die after a week, and she likes getting other gifts much more) then use your common sense and get her something she really loves. However, women generally love flowers!
If you are going to get your wife flowers, please do take the time to get her a good bouquet... look them over first and make sure they're not already half dead when you give them to her! If it's a special anniversary (or a "just because" would even be nice!) consider getting her a dozen red roses, or even a single rose with a meaningful card. Also consider looking up the meaning of different flowers before buying them and giving them to your gal. Giving her specific flowers that carry a specific meaning can be a very romantic gesture. For example, my favorite flower is the Gerbera daisy and it's meaning is beauty and innocence. A red rose = love and romance. White roses = marriage, spirituality, new starts. Pink roses = love, gratitude and appreciation. Source: http://www.proflowers.com/blog/flower-meanings
3. Surprise Her with A Gift or Flowers
When we were dating, my husband was always finding books he thought I would like at thrift stores and writing in them for me. One was the book "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein, beacuse he knew I liked that poet/author. He bought me a book in Impressionism because he knew I loved art. He also frequently surprised me with flowers or other little "gifts" he thought I would like. For example, I got laid off from a job and was bummed out about it, and he showed up at my doorstep with flowers and a four-pack of frappacinos, then took me to see the movie Soul Surfer =) He knew I needed cheering up, so he brought me some of my favorite things! He also surprised me by purchasing a bible for me that he had inscribed with my name and a Star of David, because my dad is of Jewish ancestry and is a "Jew for Jesus" (was raised Jewish and became a Christian later in life). He did all these thoughtful things because he cared, and he wanted to show me in ways he knew would be important to me. Now that we're married, my hubby still surprises me in little ways all the time, whether with a thoughtful gift or a little bouquet of flowers "just because". A gift does not have to be expensive or lavish to be of significance in your wife's life. It can be as simple as a single rose or a book from a thrift store that cost one dollar. The point is just to show your wife that you were thinking of her and that you love her.
4. Listen to Her
It's a proven fact that women speak more words in any given day than men do. We speak about 13,000 more words a day than men do...wow! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2281891/Women-really-talk-men-13-000-words-day-precise.html It's just how we were created. Even a talkative man like my husband still speaks less words than a female! Even though sometimes it probably seems like we're just blabbering away, everything we're saying is important to us. So listen to your wife. Put down your phone, video game controller, the TV remote, newspaper, or whatever is in front of you at the moment. Look into her eyes. Show her that you have her full, undivided attention. Then, genuinely and actively listen to what she has to say, and respond back in a manner that reflects your understanding of what was said. Example: "Oh, so what you're saying is...." or, "I can see how, when ____ happened, you felt ________", and so on. I feel so blessed because my husband and I talk on the phone throughout the day, and when we get home in the evenings, and he always listens to me and cares about what I have to say. Of course we both occasionally have to ask the other person to put down their phone, turn down the TV or radio, and so on, so we can talk about something without distractions. No one is perfect, but the point is that when you give your wife your complete attention and listen to her, she feels loved and appreciated. It's simple, but the importance of being a good listener is something we all need to be reminded of from time to time.
5. Be Available in the Bedroom
Men are usually stereotyped as having high sex drives, but that isn't always the case. Some men do not have the desire for intimate times as often as their wives do, and vice-versa. However, it is important in a marriage to keep the flames of passion burning! If your wife initiates, try not to automatically say "no". Be in the habit of saying "yes" more often than not, if at all possible (obviously, there are exceptions and I'm not advocating to be someone's "slave" in the bedroom). Being available for intimate times makes your wife feel wanted, desired and loved. Physical touch and closeness is needed on a fairly regular basis in a marriage, and it does both partners a tremendous deal of good! In contrast, if you frequently say "no", are too tired, have a headache, or don't feel like it, your wife may get the idea that you are not attracted to her, don't find her desirable, don't want to be close, and so on. If at all possible, be available!
.... And many more!
Of course, there are a lot more ways to make your wife feel loved than the ones I listed. These are just a few examples. My husband is really good about doing the laundry. It blesses me a TON when I come home and all the laundry is done. There are many times when I do it as well. So, it is a give and give (not give and take) relationship -- each person gives to one another as much as possible!
Hebrews 10:24 ~"...and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds..."