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50 Things You Sometimes Wish You Could Tell Your Girlfriend (But You Know You Really Shouldn't)

Updated on August 16, 2016
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There are certain things that you know you just can't tell the woman you love, because, well, it's the woman you love. Also, it wouldn't be nice at all and you don't want to hurt her feelings. (But mainly, you know there's gonna be hell to pay if you do.) But, oh man, sometimes, you'd really, really like it... Well, know that you're not the only one.

Here are some of the most common examples (all in good fun, don't take any of that too seriously!):

  • You look tired.
  • Yes, you did gain some weight.
  • Yes, you should do something about that weight you gained.
  • You look just the same as before you put your make-up on.
  • What's the point of taking so much time if you're going to look the same?
  • The universe doesn't revolve around your feelings!
  • Why do you tell me about your problems if you don't want me to offer solutions?
  • Your sister is hot!
  • My previous girlfriend used to like that.
  • My previous girlfriend was better at that.
  • Is that cellulite?
  • Are those stretch marks?
  • Was that a real orgasm or did you fake?
  • I like you better clean shaven.
  • Can't say I like that skirt.
  • I don't think you should wear that.
  • You look good enough.
  • Isn't this boob bigger than the other?
  • Don't you wish your boobs were bigger?
  • Don't you wish your boobs were perkier?
  • Whatever.
  • Do we really have to go to your mother's?
  • Just tell me what it is you really want.
  • Why are you acting crazy? It's not such a big deal!
  • Calm down.
  • Don't you think you're overreacting?
  • Get over it.
  • Cu-- or Bi-- (Come on, man.)
  • Your toes are weird.
  • You can't still be hungry!
  • You sound like your mother.
  • Why don't you ask my mom how to do it?
  • Seems to me you could have said the same thing with much less words.
  • How much did you pay for that?
  • Is it that time of the month?
  • How many guys did you sleep with?
  • Did you just fart?
  • Anniversaries are not important to me.
  • I don't like your friends.
  • Let's have a threesome with your best friend.
  • Did you really need one more pair of shoes?
  • Yeah, just keep crying.
  • Your job is easy.
  • It's a guy thing. You wouldn't understand.
  • You looked better before that haircut.
  • You really can't dance.
  • You should do something about that mustache of yours.
  • You're wrong.
  • Shush.
  • No.

If you ever feel like saying one of these things to your wife or girlfriend, don't. Just don't. Shut your mouth.

Or else, the sea will rage and the sky will storm!

Do you know when to shut up?

See results

© 2016 Max Stinson

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    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 16 months ago from The Caribbean

      Practical and entertaining though other women may not agree! (I'm not a girlfriend anymore.)

    • JG Hemlock profile image

      JG Hemlock 16 months ago from VISIONS AND DREAMS

      Looks like somebody beat me to it. LOL

      For sure. Women who are with the wrong men ALWAYS think the very same things but they are much more intelligent then the men. They are usually kind in their heart and don't ever say it and they certainly don't marry them. They find the right guy who has everything they are needing for a great relationship and then they get married and they don't have to compare.

      I hope your not married because I would feel so sad if she saw this and then divorced you for a man that really loved her. :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 16 months ago

      If you have this many things to say that you can't there's a good chance that (she) is not "the one" for YOU!

      Seriously if a guy wants a woman with bigger boobs, perkier boobs, no stretch marks, cellulite, and thinks to himself about her;

      "The universe doesn't revolve around your feelings!"

      Chances are he's not really "into her".

      If he were 'into her" her feelings would be very important to (him) even if no one else gives a damn! Odds are when he first made his move to get to know her he showered her with attention and affection.

      We treat "the new" better than "the tried and true".

      What's funny is women are probably holding back from saying similar things to their men. "Don't you wish you were bigger?" "Lasted longer?", "My ex use to ROCK my world!", "I fantasize about him when we have sex." "Your best friend is HOT!" "Lets have a threesome with him", "When are you going to start making some (real money)?", "I'm tired of (hanging out) with your loser friends drinking beer and watching TV..." "Lets go on a real vacation!"

      There's always a "flip side" to every coin.

      One man's opinion! :)