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Updated on March 23, 2016

Expression of love

Most often, after a short while we tend to forget the reason why we are in a relationship, usually it’s only at the beginning of a relationship that all the love, care and affection are giving. Once all these are established at the beginning it is assumed that was enough. Love is like kindled firewood, if you don’t stroke and blow it from time to time, the blaze will die down and go cold. So love need to be stroke and rekindle very often for its fire to be kept ablaze.

Also, the emotion of love is silent and formless; it is we, by our actions and words that give it form and meaning to make it active. So love is only a feeling that is expressed through demonstration, it is felt when it is expressed through our actions and interactions with one another.

Our words and actions are the practical side of love. Telling someone ‘I love you’, is only one part of the coin, the word has to be backed up with demonstrative actions and deeds for it to be believed and appreciated. There are so many ways to express our love to our better half for the person to feel that truly they are loved. So, saying it is not just enough, you have to show it too.

We can express our love through:


We express love when we pay attention to our loved ones. Attention is when we focus our time and mind exclusively to things that have to do with our beloved, when you actually focus on somebody, you will be able to know even the tiniest detail about the person. When you pay attention you will be able to understand and interpret the person’s body language and sighs.

Attention breeds close knitted intimacy; it makes the person feel loved and wanted, it also provides a feeling of full confidence and assurance.


We express love by accepting our loved ones the way they are without trying to remake them. When you see your partner as being perfectly okay, when you accept your partner without positing any condition, then it is really an act of love.

Acceptance is shown when you’re proud and comfortable to be around the person, when you delight in the presence of the person and find joy in being together. One of the ways you show acceptance is through physical touching, like kissing, hand holding and hugs.


When you appreciate who and what your partner is, when you make your partner feel good about him/herself, when you appreciate their companionship, when you express joy in your partner and share each moment of their life, happy time and sad time together, all these are expression of love.

Appreciation is best shown by positive verbal affirmation, expressing gratitude, giving compliments and encouraging words when necessary because it comes with thoughtfulness. Learn to praise commendable qualities and acknowledge worthy efforts in your partner.


We always want to make those we love feel good, happy and fulfilled; we look out for their safety and general well-being, all these are evidence of care. When you care for somebody, you look out for their best interest; you try to protect them from harm and danger. Care shows how important someone is to you. Care is a natural expression of love.

Caring for a person means you want them to feel good physically, mentally and emotionally. Care give rise to affectionate attitude, care is an active demonstration of concern and affection towards your partner.


Much premium is placed on material things when it comes to expression of love through gift. People tend to see it as the most convenient and convincing means of showing love. Gifts are good, but most often it is the thought behind the giving that is more valuable.

The questions are: - Does the intention to give spring from true love? Is it given to cover an impure intention? Is it given to assuage an unloving heart? Is it a guilt offering, or given to create effect and to impress? It could be any of these.

Gift giving is only part of an expression of love, when it is genuine. We can express our love to our partner through things they desire most, but it doesn’t mean you have to go all out to empty your pocket simply because you want to impress the person.

Love should not be measured by how big, how expensive or how frequent the gifts come. Someone can shower you with expensive gifts very often, but in the real sense of love, these things may mean little or nothing to the giver. Some do it to buy your love and affection.

So at times when someone gives out expensive gifts, it might be an act to assuage their conscience for their lack in demonstrating true love to their loved ones.

Learn to give gifts not only in seasons but out of seasons; don’t wait for Christmas, thanksgiving or valentine day to give gifts to your loved ones, there are small thoughtful things you can pick on your way home, things you know your partner love and cherish.

Real love should be earned by way of genuine expression not bought by money or expensive gift neither should it be earned through cheap and fake affectation. True expression of love is more than material gift; it is a demonstration that comes in simple words and actions.


It is not enough to be sensitive to the needs of your partner; you have to back up your sensitivity with action as well by responding to the needs of your partner positively. Responsibility means your response to ability, and ability is the things you ought to do like, the way you respond to their need to be comforted in stressful periods, the ease with which you provide a shoulder for them to lean on when need be, the way you act as a cushion to absolve their pains when they fall, the tender hand you stretched out to wipe away their tears when grief mar their lives and the way you provide a stronghold of protection from adversaries. Responsibility is also being a constructive voice, not a criticizing one when they make mistakes.

Love is an emotion that is expressed in these six ways mentioned. The way we express love and respond to the feelings of our loved ones proves the sincerity and genuineness of our love. Sincere and genuine expression of love touches the heart in ways nothing else can; the greatest proof of love is the selfless acts behind our actions. It is the actions that affect our feelings most.


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    • Ngozi Ebubedike profile imageAUTHOR

      Ngozi Ebubedike Ahumibe 

      2 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      Thanks @ Denis Lubojansk for stopping by. when love is not expressed, then it is not love.

    • Denis Lubojanski profile image

      Denis Lubojanski 

      2 years ago from 7 Station Street, London

      Love has to be expressed, otherwise your lover will not know if you love or not. But the great irony is when your lover try to play you in his/her own way. We all should be aware of this.


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