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What Are Some Good Reasons to Dump My Boyfriend?

Updated on May 2, 2023
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I'm an eclectic gal with many diverse interests. They include relationships, film, trivia, and an assortment of other things.

He's a Loser. Time to Move On.

We've all seen it: our girlfriend is going out with a loser. He treats her badly. Maybe he beats her. Maybe he's just a colossal a-hole. Whatever the reason, many women will just go back and forth about dumping him. They make up all sorts of reasons why they should stay or why the guy should get a second chance. But when a guy you hardly know starts treating you badly, it's time to dump him. Maybe you've been out on a few dates and you're thinking of calling this guy your boyfriend. If he starts exhibiting any of these behaviors, it's time to dump him.

Well, I say no more second chances. If your boyfriend does one of these things, get rid of him and don't look back. Never have any second thoughts about breaking up with a boyfriend when he does any of these things.

Men are dogs, don't let one poop in your shoes. (CC-BY 3.0)
Men are dogs, don't let one poop in your shoes. (CC-BY 3.0)

Did Your Boyfriend Do One of These Things? Then Dump Him!

He Poops in Your Shoes

I used to have a cat who would defecate in my shoes. It happened when he was mad at me. I had him neutered and declawed. So, I'm obviously not going to keep a guy around who thinks it's funny to poop in my shoes. First of all, pooping anywhere other than the potty is not funny. Second, a man who poops in shoes has absolutely no idea how close women are with shoes.

And really, this point is somewhat symbolic. You should dump any guy who can't control himself pooping and peeing immediately. This includes peeing on the toilet seat.

Obviously, this is mostly a metaphor. What does it mean, metaphorically, when a guy poops in your shoes? It means that he puts you down. Maybe you're out in public and the guy just doesn't sing your praises. In fact, he actively insults you and he does so in front of other people. This is kind of a way to poop in your shoes. He denigrates you, the things you like, the things you read, the things you watch. It's all about him and not about you.

Dump any boyfriend who poops in your shoes.

Maybe he's the fat one?
Maybe he's the fat one?

He Calls You Fat

Men are totally unrealistic about women's bodies. They don't really have the right to comment on them though. That's because very few of them have bodies that anyone wants to look at anyway. Most people are pretty ugly naked. It's just that most men who are dumpy losers think that they should be going out with Jennifer Lawrence.

Does your man knows his way around your private parts like a horny lesbian? No? Then don't ever accept that he has a right to talk about your body in any negative way. Is he perfect? Any man who is going to insult his woman by insulting her body has a few issues himself. Dump him the second he calls you fat. Then make sure he hears every single thing that's wrong with his body. If you need to, post it in a blog or send his employer a letter. Or rent out a billboard and post a photo of his ugly naked person.

He Sleeps With Your Mother

If a guy really wants to hurt you, he'll sleep with some random floozy at a bar. Then he'll claim he didn't know what he did. So, you know, you can maybe forgive him if you're really desperate. Go ahead, convince yourself that it was a one-time thing. Because drinking somehow makes it a reasonable excuse.

However, when a guy sleeps with your mother, there's just no explaining that one. First of all, if you forgive him, how can you ever explain that to anyone? What do you do when it comes up in casual conversation? Even your shrink is going to tell you to get real. Basically, if your man sleeps with your mother, you have got to dump him. And dump him so hard that he gets a concussion from it.

What's the most common reason your or any of your girlfriends has dumped a guy?

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Your Boyfriend's Best Joke is a Fart

Hey, we all occasionally have a huge meal of Mexican food. There's nothing wrong with a breakfast burrito on a Sunday. Then you can't hold it in during Sunday sermon. It's just that most of us try to politely exit before that fart cloud explodes. I know, most guys think farting is a sport. So, anytime they can let one loose, they will. Farts are a laugh riot. There are just some places you don't fart and church is one of them. It's one thing if your boyfriend farts in your face. But when he farts in God's face, it's time to take a stand.

Farting in church is obviously just the tip of the iceberg. You should dump any man with terrible manners unless you experience very significant and very quick success retraining him. It might be that a man doesn't know his meal fork from his salad fork. However, if you're able to explain it to him and he learns from it, you might have a keeper. But he is always the bull in the china shop, dump him quick. A man who embarrasses you in public isn't worth the trouble.

He Kicks Your Cat

People who take their frustrations out on animals are usually serial killers. So, if your boyfriend decides he's mad at you and that means getting revenge by kicking your cat, there's a lot more wrong with him than his communication skills. Deep down, this guy has some serious issues and it's just a matter of time before he does worse. Get rid of him now and don't look back.

Now you can kiss.
Now you can kiss.

Your boyfriend vomits in your mouth while kissing

I can accept a belch in my mouth now and again. If the guy is really hot or we've both been drinking, those are just things that happen. And I suppose if you're both alcoholics, vomiting in each other's mouths isn't uncommon. You can't get all high and mighty with him over an occasional accident.

However, if you're a normal couple, it's a different story. For some reason he just decides that he's going to intentionally throw up in your mouth well, that's a deal-breaker. You need to seriously take stock of your relationship. There are a lot better men out there, especially ones that won't vomit in your mouth.

Your Boyfriend Hits You

There are far too many women in the world who don't have enough self-esteem. They can't dump their boyfriends when they hit them. Listen up, women of the world. The first time your boyfriend hits you, no matter what the reason, dump him. And call the police. File charges.

Don't let anyone ever tell you that dumping a guy who uses physical violence isn't the right thing to do. Especially not the guy. The guy is going to tell you he made a mistake or that it's just a one-time thing. However, odds are really good that there's a history of physical violence in his past. If his temper tantrum combines with any kind of controlling behavior, then he's a candidate for repeated abuse. It'll never stop. Don't let that guy control you. And don't think twice about dumping him, no matter what he says.

Tell him to get out and never come back. Throw all his stuff out the window. Call the police. Never, under any circumstances, accept a guy who will hit you. Never.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2013 Sychophantastic


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