7 Reasons to Stop Caring What Others Think of You
It doesn’t pay any dividend at all when you’re so concerned about what others think of you, if anything, it immobilizes you, makes you less effective, distorts you emotionally, and ultimately make you a failure in life. It’s a big deal, and it has to be dealt with.
It’s probably the only thing stopping millions of people around the world from maximizing their potentials and fulfilling their purposes in life. They can’t just be themselves and do things to the best of their God-given ability because all their energy is focused on thinking about what people would say or think about them.
Many creative writers don’t write; many people who’re supposed to be preachers don’t preach; many people who’re good actors don’t act; many who’re really fun to be with don’t socialize, all because they’re immobilized with the thought, “what would other people think of me.”
Without further ado, here are seven reasons why you should stop caring about what others think of you.
1. The Hard Truth: You Cannot Please Everybody
It doesn’t matter what you say; it doesn’t matter what you do; it doesn’t matter how hard you try; it doesn’t just matter—if they don’t want to like you, then, they’re not really concerned about what you do to impress them. And even for people that like you, you might reach a crossroad with them where your beliefs, likes or dislikes are going to be directly opposite to theirs, at such times, you must still decide not to be a wimpy, people pleaser.
After all, you’re not supposed to be controlled by no one but yourself. Don’t let even their smile or frown get to you, be a stouthearted person. There are billions of people on the earth; you can’t please every one of them. Even if it’s going to cost your life, it’s still not going to work—at least not for everyone of them.
2. It’ll Sap Out Your Self-Confidence
You'll never be confident in front of others if you constantly worry about what they think. There’s hardly any other thing that drains self-confidence like this one. Imagine if you never gave a crap what others think and also imagine how free and confident you’d become in front of them.
No wonder it’s the easiest thing in the world to give a speech in front of a mirror as opposed to giving it in front of others—because you’re the only one there. But even if a thousand people were in front of you and you didn’t care at all what they’d think of you, you’d absolutely be as free and confident as you would if you’re giving the speech in front of a mirror, by yourself.
3. It’s None of Their Business
People are entitled to think whatever they want, just as you are entitled to think what you want. If you keep worrying about what other people think of you, they would end up being on the driving seat of your life while they’re also on the driving seat of theirs. In other words, you become their slave while they become your boss. They’d give you orders, but you can’t give reciprocate it.
This is your life to live. At the end of the day you’ll be the one who’s going to look and either suffer regret or relish happiness. You‘re the only one who needs to approve of your own choices; otherwise, you’d let other people poke their nose into what’s none of their business: Your life.
4. Your Happiness Is Stifled
Deep down inside you your wants, needs, likes and dislikes are screaming out for expression, but you shut them up just because of what other people thinks. At the end of the day, you end up frustrated, burdened, sullen, depressed, and extremely unfulfilled; why? Because you chose to be a people-pleaser; you chose others happiness at the expense of yours.
At some point in our lives, we've been guilty of doing things that we don’t actually want to; afraid of not meeting society's expectations, of not being liked. However, if you want to be really happy you mustn’t be a people pleaser. As psychologist Harriet Braiker says, "to please is a disease".
5. You Won’t Be A Person Of Value
A Nigerian success coach says, “If you don’t have values, you don’t have value.” A person of value is one who has strong values, beliefs and convictions that he wouldn’t change no matter what anyone thinks. A person of value is one with character. He doesn’t change his mind at the slightest appearance of confrontation or external pressure, come what may, he wouldn’t budge.
To be a success in life, you have to be a person of value. And to be a person of value, you have to stop caring what other people think. Successful people recognize that other people’s opinions are just distractions. So to accomplish their goals, they only focus on the things that need to be done.
6. You’re The One Stuck With The End Result
In life, you are the one stuck with the consequences of your decisions. For example, if someone suggests you buy some stocks, but you just don’t feel like it’s the right choice, you are the only one who will live the consequences. If the stock falls and you lose a lot of money, you are the one that will have to live with the fact that you didn’t follow your inner call. When people give you their suggestions or even orders, there is no risk for them. They don’t have to live with your choices—but you do.
7. People Are Not Reliable
Have you ever heard someone say, “you’re so fickle.” It means you’re not dependable or trustworthy. Really, the idea that people ought to earn trust to be trusted is one that’s misconstrued because no one can really earn trust. That’s because people change. No one can be trusted 100% under all circumstances. In essence, trust is a gift that you give someone, they can’t earn it.
Even the world’s most trusted athletes still flop sometimes.
We are constantly changing. Some philosophers and theorists suggest that we are in a constant state of flux, so much that we cannot even say we have one, specific ‘self’ (or a fixed personality). People’s thoughts, ideas and views change on a regular basis.
© 2018 Matthew Joseph