- Gender and Relationships»
7 Ways to Know if you are Ready for Marriage
#1 Are you a selfish individual?
Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24)
A person who is selfish may only consider what is in their best interest. Choices, actions taken, and the motives for those choices and actions all benefit the selfish individual. Marriage transitions a person from independence to a life of sharing and togetherness. Decisions should now be made with both parties instead of just one. One flesh means now the married couple become one in everything that they do. For a person who is not ready to give up their independence, marriage plans may need to be put on hold.
#2 Are you ready for lifetime commitment?
Marriage should not be something a person tries out and if it doesn't work , move on to the next. Many enter into marriage with a failure mentality and when problems come, a spouse may be more apt to leave than work things out. With the divorce rate being over 50% in both Christian and non-Christian circles, to remain committed for life seems foreign in today's society, but for every breakup there is a true commitment. With a lifetime commitment one must guard against boredom and keep boundaries in place to keep others from invading private area's designed for the marriage couple themselves. Lifetime commitment is forsaking all others and loving one's spouse for who they are and not for what they can do.
#3 Are family and friends more important than your spouse?
Misplaced priorities concerning family and friends have been the downfall of many marriages. When other outside voices and opinions control a relationship, the husband may not feel respected and the wife may not feel appreciated. This may cause each other to shut down and simply go through the motions of marriage which is to go to work, come home, and watch television, go to bed and maybe have physical contact ...which is not real love making by the way.
#4 Are you and your future spouse on the same page?
Can two walk together except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3)
There is no mystery in the fact that men and women are different, but what many do not recognize is that those differences are necessary for the other to see another point of view. Destination is the key and if both individuals are not ending up at the same destination, there will be problems. Practically speaking there is more than one way to end up at the same place; for example during traveling on the highway to a vacation destination, more than one route can be taken that will lead to the same destination. Getting on the same page means to for example find out each others point of view on Religion and what religion the family will be a part of, discipline and how will the children be disciplined when they come, if there will in fact be any children, will both parties be employed, etc. To enter into marriage without the discussion of these very important issues may lead to problems down the road.
#5 What is your real motive for wanting to get married?
People marry for many reasons such as for money, good looks, unexpected pregnancy, to move away from parents, feeling they are getting too old, just to name a few. If the real reason is not centered around loving the person for who they really are, the other motives may shake the very foundation of the relationship. Loving a person unconditionally and not for what that person can do is a God centered love. This kind of love when faced with a tragic situation such as an accident leaving a person in a wheelchair when you walked down the isle on your wedding day with that person or taking care of someone who can no longer care for themselves, because life happens! This is the real meaning of in sickness and in health. Loving a person for who they are should be a main motive for marriage.
#6 If you are not viewing marriage as a fantasy
Marriage will take lots of work from two willing individuals. The princess riding into the sunset with her knight in shining armor may not happen without real expectations of the work that lay ahead. Enduring hardness means to be consistently the same in the midst of those hard times. Many couples divorce because they feel as though the person they are with is not the same person they married. The truth is people do change because the physical appearance will not be the same at 50 as it was at 26, feelings change but one cannot be lead by feelings but by faith. Belief in what a marriage can be is more powerful than how one feels about it. A persons values that are biblical should never change because God's word is final authority and the bible is all about marriage preservation and not destruction. Fantasy is not real and false expectation concerning marriage can bring disappointment in the long run.
#7 Are you a whole person?
Wholeness deals with the spirit (real you), soul(mind will and emotions) and body of a person. Another word for wholeness is to be complete. Many marry because they are looking for someone to complete them when in reality one should enter into marriage as whole individuals. Decide to enter the relationship to bring something to it and not to only get something out of it.
- 5 questions to ask before getting married
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