3 Great Signs of a Good Relationship

Bad relationships happen to good people every single day. Most people base their new relationship on what has happened in the last relationship. You go through a severe heartbreak, and that situation changes how you choose your next partner. When you're choosing a person by trying to avoid pain and heartache you won't always make the best decision. The reason is that you're not allowing yourself to have total perspective of your current situation.

Most people realize what they don't want. Based on that information, people compile a list of what they do want from what they don't want. But most relationships don't start by being life sucking portals of hell. They all start out with hope, possibility, and potential. Relationships BECOME terrible over time. It's both parties who contribute to its erosion. Most people want to blame the other person for the pain, but both parties typically equally contribute to the relationship failing. (This excludes abusive relationships) Why do you ask? Why is it both parties fault when it's so clear that this one did more than that one?

We are all socialized on being the innocent in a negative situation. The innocent gets the sympathy, the help, and the support. When a relationship fails this is what each person seeks to acquire from close friends and family. If you never take responsibility/ownership for your part in it then what lesson do you really learn. The one lesson you don't learn is how to recognize are the signs of a good relationship. We want what we wan, and we figure that if someone is giving us what we want that means they care. When they stop giving us what we want then this automatically must mean that they don't or have stopped caring about us.

We are all socialized on being the innocent in a negative situation. The innocent gets the sympathy, the help, and the support. When a relationship fails this is what each person seeks to acquire from close friends and family. If you never take responsibility/ownership for your part in it then what lesson do you really learn. The one lesson you don't learn is how to recognize are the signs of a good relationship. We want what we wan, and we figure that if someone is giving us what we want that means they care. When they stop giving us what we want then this automatically must mean that they don't or have stopped caring about us.

When you feel this way, it causes you to change the way you think, feel, and act towards the partner in your relationship. Even though this person is showing you every sign of a good relationship you may miss those signs because they don't always give you what you want. When you combine this with all the "lessons" learned from previous relationships you may have an incorrect formula for determining, distinguishing, and choosing what a relationship is. When this is faulty then there will certainly be obstacles that will stand in the way of what you're getting what you truly deserve.

To make a long story short, a good relationship needs a strong foundation. If the foundation is weak or faulty then, that relationship will deteriorate over time. Since relationships become bad over a period of time then it would make a lot of sense for you to recognize the signs of a good relationship. A lot of relationships never had much of a chance right from the beginning. But neither party could see this. All they could see was the hope, potential, and possibility. But if you're looking to create a new relationship, or if you need to know if the relationship you're in is a good one then these three signs of a good relationship will let you know

We have heard it said over and over again that one of the reasons why a person fell out of love with another is because that person didn't appreciate them. Everyone wants recognition for the good things that they do for another. A pat on the back is better than gold in some situations. Reciprocation is a must in any relationship. Without it, people are often left wondering and feeling like they aren't cared about. When a person comes to believe that this is their case then the next step would be to find someone who cares about them. We all have been in this situation. When you come to believe that you're being neglected that will change how you feel about your mate.

When you change how you think, feel, and act towards your mate, then they will change how they think, feel, and act towards you. By the time the two of you realize how petty you're being towards one another the damage will already have been done. For most relationships, this is the beginning of the end. Most people don't recover from this, and this realization of non appreciation set things up to end. So a significant sign of a good relationship is mutual appreciation.

What is Mutual Appreciation

We have all learned at an early age what appreciation is. We learn that if you're given something to say thank you in return. We learn to recognize when someone does something positive for another, and we learn the proper way to respond to things we don't like. The reason for that is when you show appreciation for what someone else has done for you it makes them want to continue to give to you. They want to do this because of the feeling they get when they give. What you're doing is creating a cycle of positive give and take.

This is the very reason why we want appreciation when we do things for others. It makes us feel good about ourselves. It makes the other person feel good about you, and it creates a positive situation for all parties involved. When we're dealing with everyone else in our lives we see the need to continue to appreciate and reciprocate the nice things that others do for us. But when we're in a relationship, this same appreciation isn't given the same the value. Most people tend to ignore the need to show appreciation for what their mate does for them.

They figure it comes with the territory. They figure that this is what they're supposed to do. By doing this, you're not only diminishing the good things that your mate does, but you're telling them that you don't care about them. One of the best signs of a good relationship is when both parties mutually appreciate what each one does. It takes the two of you to make a relationship work. It does take both of you to make the relationship fail. If you want to improve your relationship the best place to start is by appreciating what each person does for the other. You will be creating a cycle of positive reciprocation that both of you benefit from.

At the beginning of every relationship, each person does their very best to get the other person to see them as the one they want. One way that a person accomplishes this is to become transparent. What does that mean? Being transparent means that you allow yourself complete openness with the other person about everything. This means your past, your present, your family, your secrets, and other things that you don't openly share with other people. We allow ourselves transparency because we want the other person to find in us the things that will make them the most comfortable. We want them to find in us the things that will make us the best choice. Then we want them to find in us the things that will create love and loyalty.

We want to be chosen. If that means that you have to go the extra mile so we are the only choice that's why most of us will go that extra mile. But what happens in most relationships is that the transparency becomes cloudy or it's rendered unnecessary. The less transparent you are in a relationship the more that relationship has problems. Think about it like this. When someone gives you something freely and openly you expect for this to regularly occur. When that person suddenly stops or becomes selfish with that thing you tend to feel hurt and betrayed. The first thing you want to know is why did they do that? Or you want to know what did you do wrong? The more they pull away from you the more you're compelled to want to know the reason for this. When you don't get that reason the way you feel about that person starts to change.

When you think about transparency you should think about it as being completely open and honest. A lot of people think that all you need to do is TELL the truth. But being honest is more than that. People tend to try to manipulate the actions and outcomes of their relationships. For instance, a situation will happen that you know your partner will be upset about. So you think,to yourself of the best way to handle the situation without causing any problems for the two of you. So you withhold, certain details to not upset the other person.

When they do find out about it they will become upset about it. The fact that you hid this from them is what causes them to become angry. They feel like you tried to take something away from them. Most people want the opportunity to show what kind of person they truly are. When you deny them this chance, they feel like you don't have a positive opinion of them. They feel that you don't know them enough to let them do what it is that they do. Transparency is necessary if you want to keep a relationship on good terms. True transparency means that no matter what happens you won't try to affect the outcome by hiding, omitting, or changing aspects of this situation that deny the other person the reason for being who they are.

This is another sign of a good relationship. When you there is complete transparency in both people in the relationship you have a real relationship. This means that problems get solved better and quicker, and that these problems will stay resolved once addressed. Most people experience the difficulty of having the same problems over again. This repetitive anguish creates wear and tear on the relationship. Eventually, this can lead to the relationship failing.

Communication is the cornerstone of any good relationship. But most people don't know what good communication is. They think that great communication is telling someone something, and then that person doing what they want them to do. Or they think it's that person not doing something that don't like. Most relationships start to fail because there isn't any good communication between both partners.

Communication is more than just talking to a person to get what you want. It's about being understood. Most times when there is conflict in a relationship it's because one person has failed to understand the other. Since people think that they know the other person so well they believe that they can predict how the other person is feeling and thinking. This is true some of the time, but it's not true most of the time. Just like with transparency, you have to give the other person the benefit of being who they are.

You can take a person who has felt a certain way about a specific issue and know they feel this way 100% percent of the time and be right. But people change, and when they do so do their stances on some situations. If you and that person haven't discussed this change then the next time you assume that's how they feel you will be wrong. When that person is confronted with your opinion of what they think and feel they feel robbed to express their true feelings or thoughts on that issue. You can see how this causes problems.

Another issue with good communication is not listening. Since the parties in the relationship know that they know the other person backwards and forwards when there's an issue most assume that they already know how to handle it. They feel they already know the feeling and thinking behind it. Once again, this isn't always correct. Most times you won't always have the correct assessment of the issue. The main reason that makes understanding hard to reach is because you didn't hear all the details. When that happens your understanding of the situation is incorrect. And that incorrect understanding leads to more problems.

The last issue with good communication is how the delivery of the message. Some people think that yelling is a good way to get their point across. Others think that a condescending tone is a good way to express their feelings. Some people think that shutting down or shutting that person out can make their point for them. When the way you talk to a person is the problem then this can cause lots of issues in that relationship. The way you deliver a message is as important as how you receive the message. Yes, it's hard sometimes to do things the right way especially when you're in the heat of the moment. But recognition of this can make all the difference in a relationship.

There are many other signs of a good relationship that a person can use. You have to take it one step at a time, and be committed each day to making that relationship work. People expect for relationships to function properly because they love each other. That is a great thing if it actually happened this way, but we all know that it doesn't. The main thing that you really want to look for is if the other person is willing to make the relationship better. You can have all the signs you want, but if the two of you aren't making a joint effort to do that then what results can you actually expect to get.

What are some sure signs of a good relationship that you know are true? Leave them in the comment section below.