- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
9 Reasons Why That Guy Didn't Use Your Digits and Call You Back
There's nothing more frustrating than meeting a great guy at a bar, giving him your phone number, and then anticipating every time the phone rings that it's going to be him and he's going to rush over and you're going to be doing the kissy kiss and humpy hump all night long
Only it's not him because he never calls you back because he never intended to call you because he sucks and now you'd like to give him a swift kick in the groin for being lame. Why didn't he call? Why are all the calls you get from telemarketers?
If he wasn't ever going to call you, why did he take your number in the first place? Why did he make you think he was going to call? Why did he say "I'll call you?" What kind of cruel game is this chugweed playing?
Lest too many women spend too much time trying to figure out why that man didn't call them after getting their digits or call back after the woman left a message, here are the probable reasons he never punched your digits to make arrangements to see you again.
He felt your keys in your pocket and thought you were a man
When you go to hug a guy you just met at the end of the evening, after you've given him your number and you're sure he's totally into you, make sure you don't have anything in your pocket, like a roll of quarters or a ring of keys with a little flashlight attached to it. Keep that stuff in your purse. There's nothing that scares a guy more than hugging a woman and suddenly replaying the end of "The Crying Game" in his head. He's not going to call you if he thinks you're a dude. If there's even a 1% chance that you're a guy, he's just not calling.
Why Don't Guys Call Back?
You ran over his foot
You remember when you gave him your number, he walked you to your car, you kissed a little bit, then he buckled you in and said "drive carefully?" Then do you remember when you took two minutes to find your keys and get them in the ignition and put the car in reverse instead of forward and you felt your car roll over something like a rock and then heard that blood-curdling scream? That was you running over that guy's foot. A guy is not going to call you back after you run over his foot. Guy's don't like women who maim them.
He was totally drunk and realized you were a cow
Okay, I am no princess either and I've had my share of guys refer to me as a blimp even though I've got a normal woman's body and I'm not some anorexic model freak like Kate Moss after snorting a few lines or that bitch, Lindsay Lohan (though Lindsay is trying to get her life back together and I'll be okay with her if she does that). I'm just saying that men have totally unrealistic expectations about women's bodies and okay, sometimes I throw myself at guys who are totally out of my league and if I write my phone number on my forehead like some human billboard, it's no reason to expect that the hottest looking guy in the room is going to take down my number and call me back. I don't even know if he was writing down my number. He could have been signing his check or something. Anyway, sometimes when guys wake up the next morning they don't remember the numbers they've got in their wallet because they were totally drunk. Don't ever assume a drunk guy will call you back.
You scared him with that talk of stalking your ex for 3 weeks
Smart women do not talk to hot guys they just met about ex-boyfriends and how they stalked those ex-boyfriends for weeks on end, sitting outside their houses with binoculars and dry ramen packets and making hang up calls in the middle of the night because those hypothetical ex-boyfriends didn't give them the attention they deserved or came onto their mothers in a weak moment or insulted their cat or dog or were chugweeds. Anyway, talking about ex-boyfriends with a guy you just met and who maybe just took your number down isn't a good idea. Don't ever talk about ex-boyfriends until you've slept with a guy at least three times. And even then, when you talk about the ex, make sure you're mostly positive. If you're going to say something about an ex-boyfriend, say something like "he couldn't make love like you".
You vomited on his suit
Did you give him your number before or after you vomited on his suit? Scientific studies show that a guy is 25% more likely to call you back when you've given him your number after you vomit on his suit versus before. That's because some men find that kind of boldness attractive. However, if you then go to kiss him, that number shrinks to 0. Generally-speaking, vomiting on a guy just about guarantees that he's not going to call you back.
You were smashed and gave him your gynecologist's number
I've talked to well over 3 guys and my studies confirm that there's nothing a guy hates worse than taking down a girl's phone number, waiting the requisite 24 hours to call her back, and then getting her gynecologist on the phone. Guys used to find this somewhat intriguing, but then Congress passed all those stupid HIPPA laws and that phone call became considerably less interesting.
He was just visiting from out of town
Sometimes guys are on business trips and they play a little game called "see how many girls' phone numbers I can get before I leave town". It's actually worse when the guy takes those phone numbers, flies home, and then calls up all the girls and arranges meetings to which he'll never show up because he's three thousand miles away. It's even worse if he arranges those meetings at places with public web cams so that he can get on his computer and watch the web cam as they excited woman sits at the table waiting and waiting and he just laughs and laughs. Hey, be glad you didn't actually date this sadistic bastard.
In case you didn't know, amnesia is much more common than widely reported. Guys frequently take down lots of numbers and then develop situational amnesia. They wake up the next day and have no idea that they have your number. And if they put that number in their phone, they see it the next day and have no idea whose number it is, so they just erase it. Never discount the possibility of amnesia.
- The Disappearing Date - Or - Why Didn't He Call Back?
Why do guys not call back for a second date, even when things seem amazing?
He liked you so much he was paralyzed with fear
This is the answer I usually go with because when guys meet me, they know they're never going to do any better. Their eyes sparkle. Their hearts beat fast. They just don't know what to do. When they get home and think about it for a few hours, they can't figure out if calling me too soon will upset me or if waiting too long will upset me because they know in order to win a girl's heart, they have to call me at exactly the right time. Consequently, they become paralyzed with the fear of everlasting love. They know if they call me back and I agree to go out with them, they will know complete satisfaction and their search for happiness will be over. And it scares them. And they can't move.
Bonus: Reason #10
If you already called a guy like a hundred times and are now wondering why he didn't return any of your calls, it's probably because he thinks you're a stalker. He's looking down at his phone right now and seeing your name pop up like a thousand times and he's wondering whether he should buy some form of self-defense or call the police or get a Doberman. Stop calling him. You're the girl. Never call a guy even once. He's either going to call you or he's not.
Bonus: Reason #11 (He's a Chugweed)
After reading the word "chugweed" you were probably desperate to know exactly what a "chugweed" is. Well, a chugweed is a guy who doesn't call you back when you give him your number. A chugweed is a lame guy who just plays games with women who give him their number. A chugweed is a loser. A loser! Do you want to go out with a loser? Be glad he didn't call you back.