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9 Signs He Is Not the One

Updated on June 27, 2018
Filip Stojkovski profile image

I'm passionately interested in the arts, especially drawing and painting. I work as a professional web developer.

We all go through relationships that are not right for us until we find the one. And sometimes that process is longer than it should be, simply because we are still trying to make it work with people that are not right for us. So how do you know when a guy is simply not right for you? Here are 9 signs he's not the one that you just can't ignore.

1. He’s Doesn't Want to Be Exclusive with You

This is a big red flag your partner is definitely not the one. If he would prefer that other people not know you two are together, that means he’s not ready to commit to you, and doesn't take the relationship with you very seriously. He also probably wants to keep his status as a single guy and be available in the dating world. A guy who truly likes you will be proud to be seen with you and be exclusive with you.

2. He’s Overly Jealous and Controlling

Is your partner accusing you of cheating? Does he try to control where you go or what you wear all the time? Sometimes people are overly jealous because they lack trust early in the relationship. But in many cases an overly jealous and controlling boyfriend only gets worse as the relationship progresses. Especially if he shows signs of a controlling\abusive person.

3. He’s Untrustworthy

Have you caught him lying to you ? Do you find that the stories he’s telling simply don’t add up? Has someone that you trust and is unbiased told you that he is cheating on you? If you feel like you can’t trust him and have already caught him lying multiple times a relationship with him is just going to bring you anxiety and unhappiness. Trust is very important for a relationship to work. So if it’s not there, it’s better to let him go.

4. You Have to Force Him to Commit

A guy who wants to commit simply wants to commit and is open about it. If you have to force your partner to commit to you, chances are you will never succeed, and even if you do, your partner may change his mind again. If what you want is a committed relationship, date people who are ready to commit to you.

5. He’s Overly Secretive

We all have feelings and things we want to keep to ourselves from time to time. And not everyone is super comfortable with opening up and talking about their life and their feelings. But a relationship requires openness and sharing in order for intimacy and trust to form. If your partner is not willing or able to open up emotionally, and doesn’t trust you with sharing his life with you it would be very difficult to have a intimate relationship with him.

6. He’s Not a Good Listener

Does your guy always seem 'zoned out' when you are talking to him, with nothing to add to the conversation? Does he make facial expressions as if he doesn't find what you are saying exiting or interesting? A person who isn't interested in what you have to say probably isn't very interested in you as a person, so you should probably reconsider the relationship with him.

7. He’s Rushing the Relationship

When a guy is rushing the relationship it may not necessarily be a bad thing, but in many cases it is for various reasons. A lot of guys who rush the relationship often get bored after the honeymoon phase. Or, the reason they are rushing may be because they are too possessive which is also not a good trait of a good partner.

8. You Want to Change Him

If you start a relationship with the idea that you will change your partner that relationship is likely not right for you. When you want to change someone, you are either too focused on his flaws or you know from the get go he isn’t right for you, but you still don’t want to give up the idea of dating him. It always better to date someone you accept as a person, than get frustrated with someone you want to change.

9. You Are the Only One Putting Effort in the Relationship

You can tell you are the only putting effort in the relationship if you don’t see a lot of initiative and excitement in your partner. Are you the only one who makes the calls and plans? Does your partner never call or text first? Try to stop initiating dates and plans together and see how your partner reacts to it. If he doesn't call, you know he was never really that much into you. If he does, it means he gets interested only when you don’t show interest, and that can never be a good thing for a relationship.


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